#livelifeloudly

[iamsirplus]

#CornHusk #Fronto #GrandaddyKush #RollingPapers #TheKing #LiveLifeLoudly

[lifeofconquest-blog]

#livelifeloudly #live it #freely #selfie

[justlikemardigra]

Yup I'm 45 and what? #livelifeloudly #boldfashionjunkie #fatgirlfabulous #simplyrawradio #thaafterpartyradio

[iamsirplus]

View this post on Instagram

#Bongwater the mixtape is available on iamSirPlus.com check that joint out. Roll up first tho. #LiveLifeLoudly @takeovaent3 @eyenivisions

[iamsirplus]

#Repost from @mell_tsp with @repostapp --- #LiveLifeLoudly Sample by @iamsirplus This #BONGWATER tape gonna be so damn crazy!!!! 🔥🔥🔥👌👌👌👌

[starnotcrashing]

Sunrises

Mornings. I somehow do them. No idea how but, I do them. One of the things that I truly look forward to is watching the sun chase darkness of night from the horizon. Darkness. That thing that has been stuck on me lately. Stupid holidays! Either way... I use each sunrise as my guidelines of my life. The inky blackness of night stretches across and envelopes the sky... But daily, the sun rises. It brings hues of reds and pinks and fills the day with golden warmth. I look to the sun for inspiration ..: daily if I have any darkness, it will fade away and I can still bring the light back.

[starnotcrashing]

Repair of despair

The roller coaster I am living on keeps rolling on. 

I recently lost my job due to the fact that I could not keep my shit together and started fucking up royally at my position.  Sadly the position I was in was not one that you could even make mistakes in.  I loved my job.  I truly did.  But there were many things about it that I have realized this was a blessing in disguise.  

Over the past few months I have been working on resurrecting myself to the form I was prior to my marriage.  I realize people change, but, the priorities in life do not. That I lost direction of.  I was not truly happy doing what I was doing, but I was also not prepared for unemployment at all.

Stress.

What the fuck do I do for work? 

What the fuck do I do for my future? 

Fuck! 

Lost!

Then the door opened.  A few years back I opened a booth in Bryant park for my business and in the time that I spent there I met some of the most wonderful people that welcomed me in to the strange little world of vendors there. And I love each and every one of them.  One in particular found his way into my daily life.  We became close via BP and then continued our friendship with Facebook on the occasion and then moved on to texting once in a while. Smart. Sweet. Witty. Now, Shit, he sees me more than I think he has ever wanted to. When I lost my job I asked him if he needed any help.  GRATEFUL. He met with me when I returned to New York after the Portland trip. Work. I started a few days later. 

Working as a vendor is not an easy job. Just so you should know.  You have a certain amount of days to make a certain amount of money that has to float you to the next project. It is fucking hard as hell. You smile all day. Talk all day. Entertain. Get rejected. Work for about 12 hours and you do not stop.  Sidebar, next time you go to a market of such, remember that when you go into a booth or a stand. This is a persons life. A persons risk that they are taking. Smile back at them. Anyway, I digress. My friends have not understood why I did not take the job back I was offered, went to the interview to be a Controller for the competition that I was offered.  Why?  I think I have found my happy again.  i play music and get to be the strange little girl who makes people smile all while talking and laughing with random strangers.  I have met some amazing people while doing this and I have also reopened my friendship with people whom I have lost touch with due to the lack of going into the city to see them. My friend has given me an opportunity to regain control of my life. To regain myself. Be proud of myself and get to the next level of who I am grateful for that and I have no idea how to ever repay that to him.  

I wake up ass early. Get home dead tired. Work ass late. But, I still am happier now than I have been in a long time and so fucking grateful that  I have the amazing people in my life who take chances on me and let me prove what I REALLY can do.  

Fixing the broken is never easy, but, it does happen and when you take a step back and look at how fucking lucky you REALLY are in life.... then you realize that you CAN do JUST about ANYTHING that gets thrown your way... and if you can't then there is always Jameson and a brand new fucking day to try again. 

[starnotcrashing]

Maybe you can keep me from ever being happy But your not going to stop me from having fun

_Ani DiFranco " Gravel"