At the same time as Pietra posted a couples photo of her and Max to her insta story he posts a nearly identical photo with her but with the inclusion of Lando's hand, feeding him food.
I really hope P knows she's in a throuple
Look at how I post a picture of me and my boyfriend. Just the two of us alone. Coupled up. Very demure. Very mindful. Just me and my boyfriend as we are two people in one relationship.
See how my boyfriend posts a picture of us. But includes his best friend's hand reaching out to feed him. Jokingly. Jokes. Not that his best friend has a history of cooking him dinners and cutting up his food on holiday. I am sitting on his lap and his best friend boyfriend is trying to insert himself in this dynamic. NOT mindful. VERY opposite of demure.
once you’re in the hive, the other bees assume you’re supposed to be there
[Masterpost]
Chapter 5: The Most Accidental of Thefts
Wordcount: 2.4K
~~~~
The rest of Virgil’s shift is about average, which means he's tired at the end but not ready to drop dead of exhaustion, and he catches the bus home like usual. He'd charged his phone at work, so he's able to put his travel earbuds in and drown out the various noises of mass transit with the dulcet tones of MCR.
Soon enough, he's home. He drops his apron in the hamper—he'd gotten splashed with coffee, so he's gonna need to do laundry tonight—and flops into bed.
The pool noodles are still there from this morning, which makes the flop considerably less pleasant than usual. Virgil tugs them out from underneath himself and drops them on the floor, settling back again. Man, he's tired. In a bit, he'll have to get up and do something about dinner, and start that load of laundry, but for now, he's just gonna be flopped for a bit.
Virgil lies there for a few minutes.
One of the springs is poking into his back. Virgil shifts, trying to find a more comfortable position. He may not have wanted to stay for so long, but his back sure hadn't protested sleeping on a softer surface for a few nights.
The spring is persistent, and Virgil slides a hand under his back to see if he can adjust it.
It's not a spring.
Virgil sits up and looks. Lying innocently on the bed behind him is a phone. It isn't Virgil’s phone. Virgil’s phone has a black and purple case, and it's still in his pocket anyway. This phone is red and gold and sparkly.
It's Roman's phone.
Well, fuck.
Virgil is a thief. He's a damn thief! Roman took time out of his own morning to drive him to work, and Virgil repaid him by stealing his phone! How could he!?
Virgil is going to die of shame. He really is. He's the worst houseguest ever. He didn't bother to learn their names beforehand—hell, he still only knows one name out of three even after being there for days, he showed up in an inappropriate costume that he's lucky didn't trigger Calico's arachnophobia, he stayed way longer than he was supposed to, he inconvenienced Roman and used him as a private chauffeur, and then, to top it all off, Virgil stole his phone.
How is he supposed to get Roman's phone back to him!? He can't text him, he doesn't know Roman's number and anyway Roman doesn't have his phone with which to receive a text.
He could text Remus. Remus would probably find the accidental theft hilarious. He also might just respond LOL and not help him return it nor inform Princey of its location.
Virgil’s out of ideas. He frowns at the stolen phone.
Well.
Maybe he has one more idea.
He can't text Princey, but maybe he can text Nerdbot or Calico.
Surely Princey has their numbers. Virgil can text them from his phone, and explain the situation. Mentally trying to compose the text, Virgil picks up the sparkly phone.
It's locked.
Part of Virgil wants to give up. He tried, he failed, time for bed.
He needs a number combination. Maybe Princey did the smart thing and came up with something unique, but maybe…
Virgil tries Remus's birthday, which is, after all, also Princey's birthday. The lock screen cuts him off after just four digits and says that nope, that wasn't it. Virgil tries just the year.
The phone unlocks.
“That is not a very secure passcode,” Virgil tells it. “Anyone could guess that, all they need to know is how old you are.”
Princey's phone is still open to the map app, and the route they'd taken from his house to Virgil’s apartment is still up. It had been a pretty quick trip, only a few miles.
Virgil has another idea.
Five minutes later, Virgil is on his bike, following the route in reverse. He doesn't dare touch any buttons and risk losing the starting position, so he can't ask for a route intended for bikes instead of cars, but he has the blue dot of his current location, and when he has to detour around a too-busy road with no bike lane or sidewalks, he's able to navigate back to the route without undue difficulty.
Soon, Virgil is pedaling up the driveway. He parks his bike in front of the porch, takes a steadying breath, and knocks on the door.
Nerdbot answers the door. “Virgil, hi,” he greets, looking mildly surprised to see him. Which, fair, they just got rid of him this morning.
“Hi,” Virgil says, trying to look past him without being obvious and rude about it. “Uh, is Roman home?”
Nerdbot raises an eyebrow at him, but nods and gestures for Virgil to step into the foyer. “Roman?” he calls into the rest of the house.
“Whaat?” Roman calls back from another room. He pops round the doorframe, and Nerdbot gestures to Virgil. “Scaramour!” Roman says, sounding genuinely pleased to see him. “What brings you here?”
“My bike,” Virgil quips. He holds up the accidentally stolen phone, and Roman lights up.
“You found it!” he cries, bounding over and snatching his phone out of Virgil’s hand. “Oh, I have been looking for this, where was it?”
“At my place,” Virgil admits.
“Huh,” says Princey, and, “Oops.”
Virgil’s about to apologize for accidentally stealing Roman's phone, when thunder rolls and the sky, which had gotten increasingly cloudy on the way over, opens up.
Roman shoves his phone back at Virgil, who only doesn't drop it due to luck and reflexes, and dashes out into the sudden rain. Before Virgil can process what's happening, Roman grabs Virgil’s bicycle and hauls it bodily up the porch steps and through the front door.
“...What,” Virgil says.
“You are my dark and stormy knight on shining bicycle,” Princey proclaims. “You have done me a great service by locating and returning my phone, and it would be dishonorable to send you home in such weather. Nor shall I allow your noble steed to rust!” He slicks his dampened hair back from his face. “I must insist that you grace us with your company until the storm passes.”
Virgil looks to Nerdbot for help. Nerdbot looks out the door at the rain. “I agree, this certainly isn't biking weather,” he says. “Have you had dinner?”
Nerdbot nods decisively and closes the door. “We were just sitting down to eat. I insist you join us.” He ushers Virgil into the dining room and says to Calico, “Please set another place, Patton. We have a guest.”
“Oh!” Calico—Patton?—says, smiling at Virgil. “Welcome back!”
“Hi,” Virgil says, and lets Nerdbot seat him, and lets Calico put a plate in front of him.
The rain doesn't let up all through dinner. In fact, it's pouring harder at the end of the meal than it had been at the start.
Nerdbot pulls up a weather forecast and frowns. “It looks like we're going to continue having heavy rain all night,” he says. “We currently have a flash flood warning until five in the morning tomorrow. ‘Do not attempt to travel unless you are fleeing a flooded area.’” He looks up at Virgil. “I'm sorry for the abrupt change in plans, but it looks like you're going to have to stay the night again.”
“Oh,” Virgil says. “Sorry.” He'd just meant to return the phone and apologize, but because of the rain they had to feed him again and now they have to put up with him for a whole nother night!
“It's no imposition,” Nerdbot reassures. “I'll prepare a guest room for you, and Patton can find you a spare set of pajamas.”
“Thanks,” says Virgil weakly. They're much better hosts than he deserves. He could have just slept on the couch again.
Nerdbot smiles at him. “You are welcome,” he says. “Roman, will you clear the table?”
Roman pouts, and Virgil offers, “I'll help.” It's the least he can do.
“Do you have work in the morning?” Roman asks while he puts away the leftovers and Virgil does the dishes.
“Yeah.”
“I'll drive you. Do you wanna stop by your place again, or wash your clothes here so you can wear them tomorrow?”
Fuck. Virgil winces. “I was going to do laundry tonight,” he remembers aloud. “My uniform is dirty, so I was going to wash it!”
“Oh no!” Roman says. “Do you have a spare?”
“I… I guess there's one at work I can borrow,” Virgil says, relaxing slightly. Yeah. He can do that, and then he can do laundry tomorrow.
Calico comes back with an armful of pajamas. “I think these should fit you,” he says, handing them to Virgil. “They might be a little loose.”
“I like loose,” Virgil reassures him. He hesitates. “Is… do you think I could take a shower?” He hasn't had one in days, and honestly he's feeling pretty gross.
“Probably?” Calico says. He starts back the way he'd come. “Logan?” he calls.
There's a muffled reply, and Patton leads Virgil up the stairs. “Logan?” he calls again as they reach the top.
Nerdbot steps out of one of the several doorways lining the long upstairs hallway. “What?” he asks.
“Is it safe to take a shower?”
“It's not ideal,” Nerdbot says, “but as the thunderstorm appears to have given way to just rain, we're unlikely to have a lightning strike. Go ahead.”
Patton smiles up at Virgil. “I'll get you a towel!” He opens one of the other doors, which leads to a stuffed linen closet, and hands Virgil a fluffy blue towel. “The bathroom's at the end of the hall,” he says, pointing. “Take as long as you need, we've got a big water heater.”
“Thanks,” Virgil says, and absconds into the bathroom. He locks the door behind him and sets his pile of borrowed clothes on the floor. Then he strips and enjoys a nice hot shower.
Their water pressure is great. Virgil stays under the spray far longer than is necessary to scrub the grime from his skin. When he steps out, Virgil is squeaky clean, and the most relaxed he's been all day.
Time to see what kind of pajamas Calico picked out for him.
Long pajama pants the same style as Logan's nerdy ones, but plaid this time, both a long-sleeved and a short-sleeved shirt, and a pair of boxer briefs. Virgil debates, but eventually decides that someone else's clean underwear is better than his own dirty underwear, and puts them on. He wonders for a moment whose boxers they are, but shuts that thought down. He doesn't need to know. He doesn't want to know.
There's also a rolled pair of ankle socks, a stocking cap, and a hairband. Patton really wanted to cover all his bases, huh?
Virgil puts on the pants and the long-sleeved shirt, but leaves the rest. They are loose, but not too much more than his own pajamas.
Virgil hangs his damp towel on the open hook beside the other towels, gathers everything else up, and slips out.
Logan had said he would prepare a guest room for him. Virgil figures his best guess would be the room he'd seen Logan come out of. It is indeed a bedroom, with the bed made and the covers turned down invitingly, and there's an unopened water bottle on the nightstand.
This is probably the right room. There's not really any personal stuff in it, so it's really unlikely this is someone else's bedroom.
If it's not the right room, they can tell him later that he was wrong and fucked it up. Virgil puts his dirty clothes on the floor, then cracks open the water bottle and sits down on the bed to have a sip.
What is this mattress made of, cotton candy!? It's soft and he sinks right in. He can't feel the springs at all. Virgil puts his water back on the nightstand and lies down.
He is in heaven.
Objectively, Virgil is in heaven right now. He is lying on a cloud, and it is the most comfortable surface he has ever laid upon. He is never getting up. He's not even near ready to go to sleep yet, but he's never getting up. They'll have to pry him out of this bed with a crowbar. This might be a problem for Future Virgil, when he has to get up for work or, like, to pee, but Future Virgil can suck a dick.
Around an hour later, there's a soft knock and Patton peeks in through the open door. Seeing that Virgil is still up and on his phone, he tiptoes exaggeratedly across the floor. “Sneak, sneak, I'm not here,” he whispers. “I'm just gonna steal your clothes to wash them so they're ready for you tomorrow, okay? I'll empty the pockets first so I don't accidentally destroy anything important.”
“’Kay,” Virgil says.
Patton empties Virgil’s pockets onto the nightstand, and then bundles up the clothes. “Thievery!” he declares softly, scampering away with Virgil’s dirty laundry. Virgil’s lips twitch and he holds back a giggle. Patton pauses at the doorway and asks in a perfectly normal tone, “Do you want me to turn off the light?”
“Sure,” Virgil says. Might as well, and it'll save him the trip. Or the falling asleep with the light on, rather, since he's never leaving this bed.
Patton turns the light off. “Goodnight,” he says, silhouetted by the hall light. “Sleep well. I love you.”
It's probably just a reflex. He probably didn't mean to say that, not to Virgil. He barely knows him. He probably says it to Logan and Roman all the time, and it just slipped out. Virgil bites the reflexive ‘love you too’ back from the tip of his tongue, then thinks maybe he should have said it back anyway, make Patton feel less awkward about his own reflexive slip. But then it's been too long, and it wouldn't sound natural, and Virgil just says,
“Goodnight.”
Patton pulls the door to, and leaves Virgil alone in the dark.
He plays a game on his phone for a few more hours, and then sinks back into the wonderfully soft bed and sleeps.
love seeing the little snippets there are of Michael with Lisa Marie and the kids bc the kids are literally ALWAYS holding MJ's hands, pulling at his clothes, climbing over him and he never looks annoyed even a bit 😭❤️
