Request headcanon for genderbend Loid Forger and is just what is like being in romance relationship headcanon
Have a good day and take care of yourself
[A/N] Okay, I have to be honest. I kind of forgot about the original prompt while I was writing. It started off as a normal headcanon, but it slowly morphed into headcanons about how she realized she was in love with you. So I hope this is still up to your standards! But if you want a headcanon that's purely fluff and Relationship stuff, you can request one. I really enjoy writing this, and I hope you enjoyed reading it. And, of course, I'll take care of myself, thanks!
[Type] Headcanon [Word Count] 900+ [Summary] Loella realized that she truly loved you. [Genre] Fluff / Established relationship [Fandom] SPY x FAMILY [Pairing / Characters] Female!Loid Forger x GN!Reader
Loella Forger (Fem!Loid Forger)
Loella was honestly terrified when she first realized her feelings for you were becoming genuine. You were never supposed to occupy this much space in her mind, let alone her heart. You were meant to be another piece of the mission, someone who helped her maintain her cover and move Operation Strix forward. Something temporary. Something practical. But somewhere along the way, you stopped being a part of the mission and became someone she genuinely cared about. She'd catch herself watching you when you weren't paying attention, wondering when exactly this happened. "This isn't part of the mission..." she'd quietly remind herself, almost as if saying it aloud could make it true.
What scares her most is that you're making her feel like something beyond a spy. Around you, she's not constantly thinking about her next move, her cover, or what information she needs to obtain. She's thinking about whether you're getting enough rest, whether you've eaten, whether something is bothering you, or why you've seemed quieter than usual. She finds herself genuinely concerned about your health and happiness, even when there is absolutely nothing mission-related to gain from it. Sometimes she'll catch herself asking, "Are you feeling alright?" before realizing she isn't asking because it's useful information. She genuinely wants to know.
And that's when Loella realizes just how deep this has gotten. She's concerned when you're upset. She's relieved when you're happy. She worries when you're in danger, and she finds herself wanting to be the person you can turn to when something goes wrong. Those aren't the calculated emotions of Twilight completing a mission. Those are the feelings of a woman who has become deeply attached to someone. 'Since when did your happiness become this important to me?' She asked herself a lot, but It's a question she doesn't particularly want the answer to, because she already knows it.
She'll probably spend a long time trying to convince herself that it's just another aspect of the role she's playing. That caring about you makes sense because you're important to maintaining her cover. That worrying about you is simply part of being observant. But eventually, even Loella can't lie to herself forever. You aren't just a piece of the mission anymore. You're someone she loves, and that realization terrifies her almost as much as it makes her happy.
Once Loella finally gets past that mental block, though, she is going to be one of the best partners you could ever have. At first, she might still approach the relationship like another mission, just with a different objective, keep you happy, make sure you're comfortable, and be the partner you deserve. She'll put a ridiculous amount of effort into figuring out what you like, what makes you happy, and how to treat you properly. She might even do research on relationships and intimacy because, of course, Loella Forger would somehow turn being a Wife into a research project. "If I'm going to do this, I should at least do it properly."
But eventually, she'll realize she doesn't have to perform around you. She doesn't have to be the perfect Wife or constantly calculate her next move. Little by little, she'll start letting her guard down and allowing herself to simply be Loella. She'll laugh around you without thinking about whether it fits her persona, admit when she's tired, let herself be vulnerable, and eventually start telling you what she's actually feeling instead of carefully choosing what she thinks you want to hear. There might even be moments where you catch her completely off guard when you ask how she's feeling, only for her to pause before quietly admitting, "I'm... happy. I'm happy with you."
Please be patient with her, though. Letting someone see the real her is probably one of the hardest things Loella has ever had to do. It may take her a long time to openly talk about her feelings, and even longer for her to stop instinctively hiding behind that polite, fake smile whenever something becomes too personal. She'll get there, but it'll happen gradually.
And then there's the biggest secret of all, her real job. Loella's identity as Twilight is something she's going to struggle immensely with telling you. It's not just because of the danger it could put you both in. More than anything, she's terrified of what the truth could do to your trust in her. She's spent so long lying to everyone that the thought of you looking at her and wondering which parts of your relationship were real would absolutely destroy her.
But if you give her the time and patience she needs, Loella will eventually tell you everything. Not as Twilight, not as a spy fulfilling another mission, and not as the perfect wife she's pretending to be. Just as Loella, the woman who fell in love with you, finally decided that you deserved to know the truth. And when she finally tells you, there won't be a carefully constructed excuse or another persona to hide behind. It'll simply be, "My name is Loella Forger. This is who I really am. And I love you."
