Hey Mel! how are you doing today angel? Anything on your mind today?
hey there love! definitely got a very specific scenario on my mind today. i had my baby nephew stay with me this weekend and while i love him more than life, i am SO EFFINNNN TIRED. but it also inspired some thoughts...
so lip drops fred off with ian and mickey so he can take tami for a much needed night out. ian and mickey are ready to roll with games and toys and snacks... but by god, all this kid wants is baby shark. he won’t do anything without those fucking sharks in the background. lip texts ian a link to an hour long baby shark compliation - freddie is happy as a clam, but mickey is ready to put his head through the wall at 6 minutes in. they sit through:
baby shark but they’re all finger puppets?
baby shark EDM club remix
“super kind police sharks” - mickey is livid ahjksdf
baby shark but they’re all puzzle pieces
baby shark valentine’s day remix
ian mostly manages to tune it out while coloring with fred, but mickey is beside himself. by the time they get to the one where they’re on some kind of jungle adventure, mickey has had ENOUGH. they’re sharks??? where is this underwater jungle? how are they swinging from trees?? where did these ocean monkeys come from? why are they trying to escape that lion instead of fucking eating him? WHY are they fleeing the goddamn crocodile IN A BOAT? THEY’RE FUCKING SHARKS IAN??????? JUST SWIM AWAY YOU FUCKING IDIOTS?
that’s when ian decides it’s time for both fred and mickey to have a nap. the rest of the night goes well enough...... but then. in the days following their babysitting adventures, ian will not. stop. humming!!! it’s baby shark when he’s cooking dinner, baby shark when he’s driving to work, baby shark when he’s watering the plants. mickey draws the fucking line when they’re in the shower together and ian’s going “doo doo doo doo” while he lathers up mickey’s hair. get out. STOP THIS.