#longgggg

[imjustanerd13]

Like The heartstopper fans knows The trailer of heartstopper forever is out so I took all my afternoon to cut those leaves because I tought that it Will look good it does but at what Price!!!

[rogdona]

[yandere--stuck]

hi so i'm so sorry if you don't take requests for it but i saw a post for it so i assume you dO- again so sorry if you don't, but, could you do either Yandere Cesar (+ Mark is optional ^^) x reader or Yandere Jonah and Adam x reader, for Mandela Catalogue? again i am so sorry if you don't want to write this or even don't prefer any poly requests!! -Backrooms Anon

Don't worry about it! I LOVE poly yanderes!!! I hope you like it! c:

Note: This isn’t my actual headcanon on what I think Alternates do to their human counterparts, but I thought it'd be an interesting take.

---

You cracked your neck as you stepped inside your home, letting the bags you had packed fall to the floor to be taken care of later when you had gotten some rest and your back didn't hurt as much.

Despite your initial hesitancy on taking a small vacation out of town, you had found yourself glad you had taken it. It was fun, relaxing, and you didn't have to worry about any Alternates for a whole week! You had hoped that the whole situation would be dealt with by the time you got back, but beggars can't be choosers. And nothing in your home seemed different or tampered with, so you didn't have to worry about robbers or Alternates coming inside while you were away.

Sighing, you moved to turn on the television, before pausing, finger hovering just above the button… Before deciding against it. Better safe than sorry.

You turned, spotting your home phone on one of the side tables next to the couch. You'd check your messages! A much better way to check on the outside world, anyway. Your friends had clambered on about wanting to hear about everything you did on your trip. Plus, it was a good idea to check up on them and see if you had missed anything.

You'd preferred to answer your messages upstairs, so you could relax on your bed as you listened, but you were far too antsy to catch up on what you missed. Hitting the voicemail button, an electronic voice spoke in stilted tones. "You have 20 new messages."

You made a face at the machine, brows furrowed in confusion. Twenty? Had you forgotten to tell someone you were leaving? Had you told them the wrong dates?

The phone beeped. "Message one."

"Hey, it's Mark. Uh, I know it's really late and you're probably gone by now, but, uh… You know, buddy system stuff and shit. Um… Cesar said something happened with his mom. I think she's gonna be okay, but he said he's on his way to the hospital. He, uh, asked me to set up his cameras and stuff to, y'know, keep watch, I guess, and see if he can see the thing that might've did it, so… Yeah." You heard him chuckle a bit. "So, if I don't leave another message, uh… Something got me, I guess. I really hope you're still home, holy shit, heh. But, it should be fine. Alright. Bye."

You couldn't help but chuckle at Mark's message, a smile rising to your lips. He and Cesar were some of your closest friends in the county. Man, you three went way back. In fact, out of everything you could have missed on the trip, you missed their company most. Just hearing Mark's voice again made your chest bloom with warmth. 

You clicked to message 2.

"Alright, update. Um… I'm not dead, so that's good. Cameras are all set up. I hate going in his house, but hey, what are friends for? Cesar hasn't gotten back to me about his mom, but maybe he fell asleep over there or something, I dunno. But, uh, just wanted to let you know everything worked out so you're not freaking or anything. I'm on my way home now."

You knew everything would have likely worked out fine, but you couldn't help but feel a little relieved at Mark's confirmation. But, if that was the end, then what were the other messages for?

Message 3.

"It found me, it found me, it found me," Mark's whispered hurriedly, voice straining. "It was in his home. It was in his fucking home and it found me and it followed me home."

You felt your stomach drop, a sick, dark feeling burrowing into your abdomen.

"It- It tried to get his mom and now it wants me. I- I called the cops, though, so… So, I think I'll be okay. I just… I know you're not there, but- but I need you. I need you and Cesar. I… When you get back, I wanted to tell you… No, I'll… I'll tell you when you get back. I promise."

Message 4.

"They're still not here. I… I can hear it. I can hear it. It doesn't sound Human. They… I know I'm probably scaring you, and that's dangerous, but, I need… I need to tell someone. Because, when I'm talking to you, when I think I am, it feels less scary. It sounds like a recording. It keeps stuttering and the pitch keeps changing. I can't stand it. I'm really, really hoping they get here soon."

Message 5.

"It's night. It's night and they're still not fucking here. They couldn't have forgotten about me! Or could they? I- I dunno. I tried calling Cesar but he's still not answering. And neither is anybody fucking else.. You're away, but everyone else should be home. It's like I'm shut off from the outside world."

Message 6.

A muffled sobbing came out of the speaker. Every sob was followed by a sharp whimper. You were only able to listen for a few seconds before going to the next message.

"They're not coming, are they? I'm never getting out of here. Will it leave eventually? It'll… It'll give up and get bored eventually, right?"

Message 8.

"I… You know, I kept listening to it. Over and over. And I thought maybe it was Cesar's mom. Maybe it really had gotten his mom. Maybe the Alternate killed her already and Cesar didn't know.

But now, I think… I think it's him. He's… It's not him, but it is and- I know the real him is out there, but it keeps telling me to come out, and- and that he won't hurt me, and… I want it to be true. So bad."

You squeezed your eyes shut, stinging. You wiped at them with the back of your hand. When… When had you started crying? God… Mark's voice. It hurt so badly, hearing his pain, his fear. You wanted to take away all his fear, to soothe him and tell him it'll be okay.

Message 9.

"It's hard not to listen. Can you hear him?- It. It. It's not him. It's an Alternate. It's not him. It's gettin' in my head. I keep telling myself It's not him, but it's getting hard to believe. Doesn't help that his- It's voice is starting to sound more like him."

Message 10.

"It's not him, right? I wish you were here. I wish… I wish I had you to talk to. Tell Cesar I don't blame him, if I don't make it out."

Message 11.

You could hear shaky, shallow exhales of Mark's breathing fizzle through the speakers. Every once in a while, you'd hear sniffle and whimper. "What if… What if it wasn't Cesar on the phone? What if this was a trap from the start? Cesar… He's… He's gone, isn't he?"

You were frozen in spot, too gripped with fear for your friends that you couldn't move. No. No, Cesar was fine! He had to be. He had to be, God, please-!

Mark began sobbing into the receiver. "He's gone! He's gone, he's gone, he's gone… And it-! It took him! It took him from us, and now I'm alone…"

Message 12.

All you could hear was the sound of Mark's voice, softy mumbling your and Cesar's names to himself.

Message 13

"Help me. God, please help me!"

Message 14

"It's so hard. It's so hard not to listen. I can't. I can't do this…"

Message 15

You could only make out mumbling of Cesar's name, over and over.

Message 16

"Maybe… What if this is Cesar? No one… No one knows what happens after an Alternate gets you. What if… What if he's in there? Like, they were separate, and now they're one whole… Thing."

Message 17

"He wants me. He wants me. And he wants you, too. He keeps saying… He… He wants us. He wants us both so badly. He wants to be with us. He wants to be in here. I… I can't-"

Message 18

"He sounds so much like him now. It… He. He's… He keeps saying he won't hurt me. He has a surprise. I… Believe him. It's Cesar. It's Cesar, I know it. I'm gonna be with him. I… Maybe it'll be nice, even. Maybe they've been lying. Maybe we shouldn't be afraid of this. If… If something happens… I love you. I- I love you and him, and I always wanted to say that. I'm gonna let him in.

Message 19

All you could do was lean forward, straining to hear, as you stared wide-eyed at the machine.

"I understand now." Mark's voice. "I understand now."

Then, a sharp ringing tone blasted from the speaker, making you jump at the sudden volume. The noise fluctuated and seemed to warble through the speaker, fluctuating in pitches and tones. Scrambling, your ears ringing, you palmed at the button to play the final Message.

Message 20

You waited holding your breath as you waited for something to break the droning silence of the final message.

"Hey! It's Mark. Just wanna say that that, uh, thing was a whole goof. It got kinda overdramatic at parts, but it was just a joke for when you come back home, heh. Just to double confirm, here's Cesar."

"Yeah, don't worry, everything's cool here, and my mom's fine. And… Oh, tell them about the thing."

"The thing?"

"Yeah, you know…"

"Oh! Oh, right, um, heh… I meant what I said about my, uh, my feelings for you and Cesar. Um… Yeah, I already told him, so… If you wanna, um, talk about it later-"

"He's nervous."

"Shut up! But, yeah. Maybe a practical joke isn't the best way to admit feelings, but… We really love you and want you to be a part of-f-f- w-with us. I… We love you. See you soon."

You let the phone go silent, simply staring as you tried to process everything you had just learned. But, you couldn't react. Couldn't move. Trapped as you ruminated on the messages that you had just heard.

Just a prank? Mark and Cesar didn't joke like that, wouldn't make jokes like that. As much as you wanted to believe that your friends were safe… You knew it was a lie.

Your heart pounded in your chest, the sound of it thrumming in your skull. It felt like… like the walls, the whole world, was coming down on top of you. It all felt too silent, but too loud.. There was nothing you could do. Who could you call? What could you do?

Your friends were… Were dead and-

You let out a yelp, startled by the sudden ringing bleat of your phone. For a breath, you simply stared down at the machine, before scrambling to pick up the receiver, nearly dropping it as you attempted to answer the incoming call.

You took a shaky breath. "Hello?" 

"Hey! It's Mark. I knew you were back, so I wanted to call and check up on you, see if you got my other messages, y'know?"

You opened your mouth to speak, but found yourself unable. All the things you wanted to say, wanted to believe, tangled like a knot in your mind, incomprehensible and stuck.

You heard as he said your name. Then, again. It didn't sound quite right. Didn't sound like how you remembered. You were sure. But, maybe, you were wrong. Maybe it was all a joke. Maybe you were losing yourself in your panic. You weren't sure of anything anymore.

Finally, you found the words. "... You're not really Mark, are you?"

"What? Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" The thing with Mark's voice said. "Cesar's here, too, and-"

"That's not Cesar. You can't trick me."

Silence. 

You could tell the Alternate was still there - both of them, if it wasn't lying about "Cesar" being with it.

Your breathing picked up, huffing through your nose in anger as the messages played over and over in your mind. These things… They had taken your friends from you! Your best friends…! And, maybe if this never happened, then maybe Mark would have confessed. You'd be together, and…

"I know what you are," You hissed into the receiver, grip so tight on the phone that your hand shook. "And I'm not afraid of you."

All sound went dead on the other end, before,

"Y̶͍̻͒͝ͅō̴̺͙̗͠͝u̷̺̭̤͗́̓ͅ'̶̰̙̦̾r̸̛̗̝̼̿̓͌e̴̘̣̎́͊͠ ̴̦̟͓͙̕l̶̢͓̞̈́y̵̛̳͖̺̘͒į̸͌̃̕n̸̯̓̃g̸̥̰̖͌̀̆,̶͈̈́" A warped voice blared in your ear." I̶̡͔̹̱͍͑̏̚-̵̢̫͍̄͌͜Ḭ̴̂̂ ̸̼̰̾c̵͔̪̠̪̦͌̍͐̌ă̵͚̮̞̩̭̄̓n̴̝̪̙͌̅̿̌͊ ̵̡̨̥̞̜̑̄̉̌͘ḫ̵̥̠͖͇̓é̸͎͉͝ạ̶̪̬̈́̕-̴̡̢̩̮̒̉e̷͙̽ạ̴̙̿͌͋̈́r̷̲̤̍̿͘-̴̩̟̿ę̵͚̬̲͉̇̄̈́͒ḁ̵̠̐͌̄r̴̗̲͓̮̃͝ ̸͉͖̗̼͒͋̇͗͗y̵̖͈̭̐̒̃̇o̷͈̞̟̪̿̀̈u̷̞͌͊r̸̨̡̘͖͈̀̿̈́ ̴͎̳̦͕̿͋͆̍̉f̵̟͈̠͓͐̂ḙ̷̌̈́ä̷̦̭̻́̒̃̃͝r̵̤̫͍̮͆̓̈́.̵̱̫̳͓́͑̐̉͠ "

"I'm not! I'm not afraid. You can't hurt me. You took them from me, but you won't get me, too."

Another voice, suddenly breathing close to the receiver. Cesar's Alternate? 

"Ỹ̷̼̑͗͒̍ǫ̷̢͔̗̮̓̋̌̅u̸̦̭̾̎̃̈́ ̵̪̻͗̒̓f̸̼̎͊͗o̶̠̎ŗ̴͈̭̦̑g̶̗̯̜͎̎o̷̭͠t̸̤̠̑͌̀ ̷̳̒́t̶̼̱̞̎͛͑ọ̶̦̚ ̷̧̍l̷̦̉̆̌͋ȯ̸̯͉̐̾͠c̸̢̛̫̀̄͂k̶̜͎̹̜͋͛ ̶̩͍̹̙̦̓̾͝t̴̡̛͍̹̮̣̃͛́̆h̴̨̲̯̭̉̓́e̵͍̳̬̐ ̴̧̝̉͊̆͆̽͜͜d̵͔̹͚̺͈̋o̸̺̗̫͕̿͆͒́o̴̲̯̯̦̾r̷̩͘͜.̷̲͚̣͛"

No. No, you couldn't have.

Racing to the front hall, you grasped the know and gave it a twist.

Unlocked.

No, no, no… This couldn't be happening. It couldn't. Maybe… Maybe it was nothing. You hadn't heard anyone come in, had you? And how would they be in your house if they had called you from Mark's?

… Unless, they hadn't.

Slowly turning your head, your eyes ran over the steps that led upstairs - to your room, where your other home phone was stationed by your bedside.

You were… You were just being paranoid. They weren't inside. You'd just check real quick to calm your nerves. Slowly, you crept forward, stepping quietly up the stairs and into the dim light that shadowed the mouth of the stairway. 

How would they have found you? Could they have seen you as you went home and followed you home?

In your room, it was… Quiet. Too quiet. The air felt suffocatingly still and bitingly cold. Every step you took was centuries long, your mind taking in everything in slow-motion, as it did in dangerous, high-risk situations.

A flip of the lightswitch, darkness receding. Your bedside phone, unattended.

Nothing.

It was nothing. You were overly paranoid. They weren't here. You were alone.

And the lights flickered out.

You could feel your heart as it skipped a beat. The cold drop of your stomach. The feeling of suffocating terror as it curled around your lungs. 

In the dark, you see the lights in their eyes.

You can't scream.

All you can manage to do is turn away and cower in the darkness, your back to the Alternates. You brace for the end.

There's hands on you. Nails a bit too long to be a human's drag along your skin from over your clothes. Two bodies pressing close against you. One set of lips at your neck, the other letting out warbled chuckles in your ear.

Cesar.

I̷̡͠ ̵̜̄͗ẗ̸̗̄o̸͔̹͂̓l̷̺̑-̶̼̠͑́ ̶͇̅͝ţ̶̣̂o̵̯̅l̷̛̯d̷͈̅ ̸̻̩̐͝y̵͙̌͜ŏ̶̭̱̎u̴̞͑͜.̸̻̿ ̴̛̬̲͂I̵͈̐ ̴͐͜ͅt̸̠̓̓o̵̖̅l̴̡̰̏̎ḓ̴͂̈ ̴̲̫̎͂ḩ̵̐͑-̸̨̛Ḭ̸͕̈́'̵̰̃m̶̪̒̎!̶̩̈́̒ ̴̤̱͝I̸̼̞̋ ̴̤͊͠w̴̦͝a̶̮͉̍n̴̨̧͌̇t̶̝̋͒ė̸̪̑d̴̩́ ̴̡͛b̵̧̤̾͝-̸̚͜ ̸͚͒b̷̭̈́ȍ̵͚̈́t̴͙̱̓̌h̵̥́ ̵̠̳̊o̸̽͜f̸͔̫̽̕ ̷͚̋̉y̷̩̅́-̴̨̜̉y̵͚̤̾͋o̴̻̮͌̀ủ̷̥̻.̵̣͇̂̌ ̶̰͛Î̷̩'̶̡͒͘d̷̬̖̃͆ ̴̋ͅg̷̺̓e̵̜͆t̷̩͚̚ ̴̥̱̊b̶̩̙͘͝o̶̦̓̽t̷͎̂̀h̷̺͊ ̸̹͂̓ő̵͎͔͠-̶̐̈́͜ọ̴̹̃͂f̸̅͐ͅ ̴͓̯̚̚y̷͈̜̌̄o̶̤͐͝u̵̗̍!"

Mark.

"W̶̯̉̌̐̔̃e̷̲̗̳͕̼͐ͅ ̸̧̦̳̟̹̘͖̎̽͌͠l̴̢̡̙̻͖̩̽͌̍̿͒o̷͖̒̐͠v̷̨̧̡͓̈́̊̀̿̌̚ė̶͚̱͇͆̿̒́̕ ̵̮͓͔̞͍̟̎̽͐̊͋̏͘ͅy̵̯̥̠͓̮̅̚ö̵̩̺̟͖̭̅͆͊̃̉̍ͅų̷̫̦̣̣̗̇̏̊̑̐̕.̶̡̯̙͚̄ ̶̝̱̐S̶̛͍̯͖̯̥͖̏̈-̴̲̤̙͆̈́̑̆͒̀ͅs̵̥͍̖͗̈̉̂̋͆̕-̵̨̛̹̝̥͔̯̃͆̃͒̿̎s̴̡̲̰̹͘ͅö̷̤̞͙̭̪̦̣́̄͒̈̀̈ ̷̠͇̀͆͂̏͊̔̋m̶̲̟̗͖͒̎̑͛̈́́͗u̷͓͐͗̍̑͆ç̷̨͖̗̻̩̐̓̋́̋̅̚h̵̢̦̻̣̱̆,̵̠͊.I̶̧͆ṯ̸̈̀ ̸̝̀͘ͅf̶̺̀-̸̠͋͋f̷͚̈́͊ê̶̯̭ě̴̘̇-̵͕̆̓e̴̲̒ë̷͓́͝ĺ̵̨̞̓s̴̖͑ ̶̟̻̋͂s̴̢͗̔-̸͈͓̌̏s̶̢̓̊ͅo̸͔͕͋̚ ̸̳̖̒g̵̝̰̀ǭ̶̗̈́o̷̥̽̈d̶̢͇͝,̷̧͖̈́ ̴̩̺͆̈́Ï̴̙ ̸̺̎̆ṕ̴̰̘r̷͉̯͐o̷̦̺͆m̶̢̖̀i̸̼͚̽ş̶̬̑̕e̸̫̊.̸̛ͅ ̶͍̂Y̸̢̪̅o̶̪̭͘u̵̩͌͊'̶͎̋͝r̵̰̠̄̽ẹ̶̀͠ ̵̝̏ḡ̸̯͒-̴̬͔͂g̶̢̃o̴̘͒̇-̷̙̽o̸͖̅͘ȉ̷͕̉ͅņ̷̳̾g̵̯̮͆͆ ̵͚́t̵͖̱͠ọ̵̙́̒ ̵͔͜͝u̶͈̰͋ṉ̵̛͌ḓ̸̓e̵̝̜͝͝r̷͉̥͌s̵̗͗̃t̷̀͜-̷̱̣̿ ̶̢͊s̸̫̍t̴̯̀ã̷͜n̴̳̟̊d̵̳͂̕.̷̭͖́̕ ̸̛̖W̶͉̃e̸̜͙͋'̸̛̣̚r̷̛̘͙̿e̵̺͛͊ ̴̛̯g̶̹̻̅͑-̴̡̩̍ğ̷͎ȯ̵͚̪͂i̵͔̤̅̽n̷͉̦͗g̷̘̔̒ ̷̤̽̀t̵̲̋͐o̸͎̝̊̈́ ̴̮͂͆b̶͈̃̄e̴̠̺̅̚ ̴͋ͅç̷̘̓õ̶͙̑m̶͎̜̓p̵̗̮͐l̴͈̜͊̽e̵̡̤͂̈ṭ̵̡͛̈́ë̴͍́.̵̼͝

And you were made whole.

[maicrowave]

ello

I have some thoughts, but I want to say them in a way that isn't aggressive or patronizing.

obviously a lot of jokes and discourse are newly on the table in the modern dan & phil era, especially in comparison to 2013.

i think the main principle is to follow their lead. ten years ago, they were pretty clearly setting boundaries for things they Didn't Want To Talk About (sexuality, relationships). Boundaries that people (fans, coworkers, interviewers) crossed over and over. It's worth noting I'm not really talking about fanfiction here—banning rpf is futile, and, lest you forget Dan Howell said he has read youtuber rpf for fun—I'm talking about real life speculation. I believe that's what hurt them.

in the modern era, let's learn from that (probably kinda traumatic) time and follow their lead. they're both openly gay—gay discourse is fine! They're pretty ambiguous about their relationship (see: "are we gay? did we fuck?" quote from dystopia daily's 'Dan and Phil Tell the Truth' video), so jokes of that caliber are ok (imo).

On the other hand... Invasions of privacy? Trying to "prove" things about their personal lives that they've repeatedly stated they don't want to elaborate on? Especially posting that "proof" to public websites. Bringing up past content, posts, etc, that they clearly still don't want to acknowlege? Let's refrain.

Obviously dnp have come to terms with a lot of this stuff existing on the internet... then again, they didn't exactly have a choice. but here's my thoughts: tumblr is a public website, literally anyone can make an account. Dan and Phil want to get into the mainstream via acting/writing projects. If they get popular enough, mainstream media outlets will dig, and some of the personal old stuff is not hard to find... and even easier to look for if people are talking about it all the time. And I would hate, despise even, to see some detached popular media outlet make some "tea" article containing personal stuff from dnp's past that they've tried to move on from/delete. So just... keep in mind plz. I don't want to make them hurt/sad again.

tl;dr: if you're older in the fandom, let's set a good example for any incoming or younger ppl and meet dnp where they're at with the jokes & content, and avoid invasions of privacy!

[kitsunesakii]

 A small touch- part 3

I reread the invitation for what felt like the 59th time. 

     When I became a vigilante I had given the Governor a P. O. Box for "The Phoenix" so that if he needed me he could reach me. Now here I sat, in the middle of my apartment, staring at an invitation for the annual masquerade. 

     The ballroom that it was held in was an open roof room that was right over the ocean. It was gorgeous, and extremely hard to resist. I bit my lip. The masquerade wasn't the problem. 

     It had been an entire week since the incident with Drake. An entire week, I had avoided him. Instead focusing on mundane things. Even the news had something to say about the assumed "disappearance" of The Phoenix. 

     It was stupid. I was being stupid. I knew that. It still didn't change anything. 

     Nothing was normal with me. Normal kids weren't taken from their home and experimented on. Normal kids weren't taught that trust was deception and love was a tool used to get what you wanted. Normal kids didn't fall in love and fear that it was false. Not that I was afraid. 

     It was stupid. He had always been like that, flirtatious Even in battle he was more interested in conversation than actual fighting. I always loved that about him. It was supposed to be safe, a thrilling way to dance around my feelings. he wasn't supposed to act on it. 

     I should have hated how even the thought made me red. I should have. 

     None of it should have happened. I should have never gotten close. It probably wasn't even real. It wouldn't be the first time someone had stolen my heart only to break it. 

     But this felt different. I shook the thought away, this was what made it dangerous. I was powerful, and someone of his status could thrive better if I was on his side of things. 

     A whole week of this nonsense. A whole week of overthinking. I'm the one avoiding him, yet I'm having the conflict. 

     I shouldn't have cared. I shouldn't have wanted the ghost of his touch to once again linger on my skin. I shouldn't have. But I did. 

     And that was the problem. 

     That's what made me read and reread the invitation for now the 60th time. It was a thrilling event because everyone was invited. Politicians, heroes, villains, everyone of interest. It was almost like a dance of fire in the dark. Everyone bathed in different colors and hidden behind intricately decorated masks. It  was chaos dancing with desire. 

     I shouldn't go. I had at least three really good reasons. But it's by the ocean. three rational reasons for not going. But the music. Three perfectly sane reasons for staying home. He might be there.

     That was a good reason to stay home. It was also a good reason to go.

     I groaned inwardly, this shouldn't be happening. It was my fault. I knew that. I acted so stupid that night. All because of stupid emotioms and his damn touch. I played and replayed that night over and over again. I had been tired, which definitely didn't help. His hands in my hair had to have been a sin. Was it so wrong that I wanted to be loved? That thought was even more dangerous than he was. 

     Maybe I was overreacting. I had just been in the right place at the right time. I hated that the thought of the  circumstances being the cause for the effect made my stomach knot up. Because it didn't matter. I shouldn't matter. But what if it did?

     I stood, walking into the kitchen and away from the paper sitting innocently on my coffee table. It was tomorrow night. If I wanted to go, I needed to RSVP by tonight. 

     I wanted to go. I hated that I wanted to go. I was afraid reality would suck the life out of me like it had done before. 

     I was not normal. I was broken. Those words echoed through me as I wrote back my RSVP. 

                                 • • • 

     It was 4:00 pm, I had my dress packed in my bag, the plan was to get there and change in the bathroom outside of the venue. The dress was a firey red at the base and had a slow gradient upwards to the colors of dusk, just barely brushing my ankles. The Mask matched, with the structure of a fox and two orange feathers peaking out at one ear. 

     My hair was done up in a bun that wrapped nicely in a braid. A necklace draped over my exposed neck. And two earrings with small golden Firebirds hung loosely. 

     I looked back at the clock. I should leave if I don't want to be late... I swallowed any hesitation and forced myself out of my apartment. 

     The drive over was nice, there wasn't any clouds in the sky creating lovely contrasting colors. 

     After changing I entered the ballroom. It was huge. Definitely bigger than last year, although last year a brawl broke out and a wall collapsed. But from what I heard no one was injured and it was all in good nature. 

     I let the thought slip away as I made my way over to the food table, looking at all the differently designed outfits. Most people relied on their magic for a unique spin on their outfit. Some had flowers trailing up their arms while others had fire licking the hem of their dress. I preferred simplism over anything else. 

     My eyes trailed through the crowd, stopping on two people conversing. 

     There he was. This time he was all dressed up in a button up suit and his trademark 'shadow' cape that billowed weightlessly. He wore a black wolf mask with silver outlines. It shouldn't have, but it brought a small smile to my lips. 

     He turned towards me, and immediately I dipped my head down towards the floor. In the background, music started, drowning out most of the audible conversations. 

     "Excuse me" My eyes flicked up to a Wolf mask. "Maybe you can help me, I'm looking for someone?" 

     "Oh?" 

     "You might know her since she lights up every room, I planned on asking her for a dance, but she's been hiding."

     "Why do you think that?" Stupid question. 

     "Well, I kissed her, and she disappeared. "

     "No," I said slowly, focusing my eyes on his mask. "It was the thought that she would wake up to be told that it wasn't real that made her dissapear,"

     "Well I could have reassured her that it was real." I could hear the relief in his voice. "In fact," he held out his hand, "if she'll have me for a dance, I could convince her now?" 

     I stared at him. There it was, that fear. I let him take my hand, following him into the crowd. His arm snaked around my waist, his other hand resting on my bare shoulder. 

     Thank God for masks. 

     He held me close, moving to the rhythm of the music. " I should be offended" he cocked his head to the side, "We both know I'm not the type to take more than one cookie from the jar."

     A chuckle rose to my lips, it took a little bit of the worry with it. "I'm sorry, I might have overreacted." 

     "You disappeared for a week, and if you needed it I would have backed off for longer. I've heard the rumors, I understand trust doesn't come easy for you." He tilted my chin to meet his hidden gaze. "I'm not angry, I'm relieved." 

     "I leave you in the dust and you aren't mad at me?"

     "It wouldn't change the fact that you left, plus, it had been a long day, and even if it wasn't intentional, I probably pushed you farther than I could have."

     "Your insane."

     "I'm also devilishly handsome, any other facts you want to point out?" 

     I laughed, tipping my mask against his shoulder. 

     "You look lovely by the way, I don't remember you coming here last time," his fingers danced along my skin, tapping to the beat of the song. "I'm curious, were you willing to dance with someone else if I hadn't walked up?"

     "You almost sound jealous," I teased. 

     "Me jealous? *never*" he moved, shifting his hands to sit on my waist, closing the distance to mere centimeters of space. 

     My breath was caught in my throat. 

     He paused, studying my posture, and in a quick jolt he let go, backing up a few spaces. "My bad, sorry"

     Everything stopped. My world tilting as I stared at him. Almost completely at a loss for words. Almost. 

     "Wait" my voice choked, the reality of everything finally clicking into place. "Wait," I repeated slowly, "I want this... I," another deep breath, "I grew up surrounded by people who didn't show love. I was conditioned to a certain environment, I know I want this."

     Another pause. He moved his hand and silently stroked my cheek, "so you mean to tell me, you're touch starved?" 

     I must have been the same color as my dress. "W-wait, that's not, no, n-not what-"

     Words got harder as he moved, suddenly everywhere with no where else to look but at his wolf mask. 

     "I think it's quite wonderful," He purred. 

     His hand moved again, this time trailing my neck to my lower back, dragging his hand along the fabric of my dress. 

     Chills strung themselves out across my skin like mini fireworks.

     He lifted up his mask, his eyes shining almost impossibly in the darkness. His smile was perfect, lining his face wonderfully. 

     A small laugh bubbled at the bottom of my throat. 

     "So you're ok?" 

     "Yes" I didn't even hesitate. 

     He lifted my mask, revealing way too red cheeks and a smile that would last a lifetime. 

     He used his newly positioned hand to pull me close, taking my lips with his. His hands found purchase on my face. I kissed back, all of the sounds of the ballroom fading into nothing as I was swept away. This time, I left the worry far from this small touch.

[bonivers]

this is technically the last week in the semester where i need to Do Assignments and i am soooo excited like i have been WAITING for this

[kisscheeks]

It's Okay If You Never See This.

I.

i'm sorry.

i take full responsibility for everything i did and said that lead to this for the lies for hurting you again because i couldn't be honest and just tell you

i was embarrassed to tell you about it because i'm also disappointed in myself for what i did. sad to say the truth is i'm an emotional wreck and i tried lying to get things my way. it doesn't benefit anyone and made things worse and for that i apologise.

II.

i'm sorry.

the year's ending and it's funny to think that this time last year we were beginning to get close. the first time we video called we both wore the striped tee and you wore your pink cap. i think i do ruin things for myself in the end.

i want to get better you know? for starters i just need to get down and gritty with the truth which is something i still struggle to do. but i believe with time, i'll be better. i'm trying.

III.

i'm sorry.

you have every right to be pissed off at me. it was all my fault. there's nothing going on though and my password is still the same. i truly want to change myself and be sincere in changing.

i wish i could take it all back but i cant. it all happened and i was to blame. not you, not my past. i'm the problem.

but i want to be better.

i'm only human.

- i deserve the pain and hurt because i inflicted that on us. but i know deep down, with all the pain and suffering: you deserve the truth.

and i want to give that to you.

i want to be honest with myself too.

i need to be better. this is my stepping stone.

[hairstylesladycom]

That is some longgggg rainbow hair This type of factor definetly takes time, four ho… That is some longgggg rainbow hair 💕💕💕 This type of factor definetly takes time, four hours to be actual, nevertheless it's so value it to see all of it finished!