For those settled with no home; for those looking for home; for those who have found home; for those who have struggled; for the courageous; for the dreamers; for the climbers; and for the swimmers; for the travelers; for the settled.
‘Nature loves courage’ — Terrance McKenna
I have few memories of my childhood. We moved, we fought, from photos I know we loved. The memory I can recall is feeling lost. Feeling like I do not belong. That I do not belong with my parents, with my surroundings, and more importantly with myself. There are many people like me, this is not a unique feeling.
In an age characterized by feelings of isolation within a connected society, what does it mean to be home? How do we find home? Home might be the absence of home, for some it might mean never having a home. Does a sense of home emerge from within? When the cluster of our personality traits aligns with our place in this odd life and universe? These questions consistently arise in the front of my mind, as I have yet to find home. This is a reflection on my exploration.
The one consistent aspect of my personality is exploration. Exploration internally and externally. I’ve made an effort to voyage into the areas inside and outside, to find who it is that echoes back at me when I call out “who am I?” What is my identity? What is my sexuality? Am I an introvert or extrovert? Am I to be rich or poor? Do I belong in high-society or ‘low-society’? Am I to have no family, or am I to have family? Am I to be married or unmarried? I’ve never had a singular answer to any of these questions. Following these questions has led me to a synchronous path where I feel most comfortable in the ‘grey’ areas of these questions. Am I then none of the above?