The first time I met her, I knew I wouldn't forget her. She had long, dark, curly hair and her big brown eyes brightened every time she looked at me. She called me baby like she meant it. So effortless how it rolled off her tongue and eased through her lips. I doubted I could be the one, but I’d be any number for her. She spoke 5 languages; her accent alone could undress you. She was smart, but wouldn't choose logic over affairs of the heart, at least not when it came to me. She could sing the shit out of a song and you’d never guess by looking at her that she loved the likes of The Paper Kites and depressing movies. Our first date, we watched a film about slavery. Held each other while we cried during the scene he was set free. I felt like I was being set free. After the movie, we trapped each other in the elevator. Close. Door. Ding! Clooooose door. Damn, that’s either romance or irony.
She was a native and I was an expat, but god, she felt like home. She’d grab my hand and lead me through obscure alleyways, looking back and smiling as if she was about to reveal a secret. And she did, too. We’d turn a graffiti-laden corner and slip off our shoes before entering into one of her favorite dimly-lit escapes. She’d be greeted by everyone with smiling embraces. Everyone knew her. Everyone loved her. And I was next in line.
We talked every day, had so much in common with enough differences to up the intrigue. She was like a mirror of my better self. She trampled over my walls before I even had a chance to put them up. That must’ve been the Taurus in her. No one saw me the way she did. And when we saw each other, well, it was like the first time every time. The slow boil in your insides, the excitement, the nervousness that still somehow felt comforting; I was lost and found all at once. There were no games, no hesitance, no fear. It was real, raw, transparent and intense. We’d share songs and poetry as frequent as our feelings and plot our way to wealth and success. But we both knew what we were really plotting; our love story.
The reality of our circumstances both halted and progressed our romance in equal measure. Do we stop? Let’s stop before we’re hurt. Do we go ahead? Let’s spend every weekend together, I want to take you everywhere and kiss you forev…as long as I can. Do we forget we ever met? How did you find me?! Put me back this instance! I didn't want to lose her. She didn't want to lose me. I came here with a broken heart and she was putting the pieces back together and removing them repeatedly. And I always came back for more. After all, my favorite thing to do is to live. And she made me feel so alive I could die.
Perhaps it was a daunting foot to start off on - knowing it would end as quickly as it began. Perhaps it was naive and stupid and surely to leave us in more pain than anyone ever wishes on anyone, let alone themselves. Or perhaps it wouldn't end prematurely. Perhaps we’d find a way. Perhaps it was bold and extraordinary and all-conquering; things love should be. Perhaps.
She wasn't a safe bet; the odds were against us, but there I was rolling the dice. Because these things don’t happen every day. And hell, if you don’t take chances, you’ll end up old with a wrinkle for each regret of every un-taken step.
So off we go. And if this turns my heart into stone, at least it will be engraved with footprints from the sweetest love I've ever known.