#lucifer no

[cas-mentalynothereeee]

LUCIFER DONT TRUST HER VOICE NO AUGH NO NO NO PLEASE NO AUGHHHH MY SHAYLLAAA

[more-things-in-heaven-hell]

“I’m taking a break from Mental health — to focus on Substance Abuse “

[thesharkandthesnout]

…We all like to feel proud 🥲 🤦‍♀️ 🤦 🤦‍♂️

[mayhemmaybe]

( for mephy)

“I heard there was food?”

"Indeed there is! You're quite lucky, there's plenty leftover." Soup should not be that vibrant an orange, or that thick, or burn the hairs from your nose just by being in the same room as it...

[mikeluciraphgabe]

Lucifer: murder is like a potato chip.

Lucifer: you can’t stop at just one.

[impala67-aka-baby]

Michael: You need to react when people die

Luicfer: I did. I rolled my eyes

[inkyblxts]

do you guys have dreams that are so weird that your brain cant forget it due to how undecipherable it is

like 3 days I had a dream where I had a dream I worked at mcdonalds that looked like my grandma’s house and it was like only the first floor looked like a mcdonalds the rest of the floors were like the same and it was fun my friends and family went there but there was a brawl about tissue papers and some dude left the establishment without his right leg and in the middle of it I went on a vacation where I went to a sea  park that wasn’t even one because the only creatures there were drowning dolphins and and a powder where if you pour into a moist trash can it can make a snail and to enter the place you have to go through what seemed to be the my backyard where there is a watch tower and you have to climb it and ride a black isuzu M-ux to an alleyway where regice the pokemon has to check if your underwear if green and can turn pink if dabbed with hot boiling water then you have to solve the riddle of a monkey with a golden fox mask and a gun the question was

‘if I could jump over saturn and cut off my dick to swallow the red crayola marker to turn my left foot cyan, am I a vegan”

and apparently the answer  is 

“no, because you needed 6-8 plates of fish sticks and waffles to over heat lucifer (from obey me) and claim sir Johni’s crown and rule arthagnisia

and like the riddle didn’t make sense enough who’s Johni ??? Athagnisia???? anyways after I answer that answer correctly in one try he gave me a stick that can enlarge it self if you screamed engorgio in a british accents and shrink if yelled reducio in a spanish accent I use it to defeat the skeleton king who looked like overblot Leona from twisted wonderland WHAT and got the ticket too the park after vacation I got back to my mcdonalds job then I asked my manager what time do I go home and he responded with 

“10:30 pm”

this is where act three of my dream occurs so apparantly my mom (and im apparent a boy now) is a mythological goddess who looked like lady dimitrescu I pissed of by being late and going home at one am I die then there was a retelling of her again??? like her mythological ass has three children I’m the youngest apparently and my dad is frickin Daichi sawamura and we came home late from school and mom was fucking piss and may I mention the paint work of the house was garbage the walls where neon yellow and the floor was like a ugly shace of blue and the furniture was modern but it wasn’t fitting with the enviorment anyways my scared ass hid under a bed in the attic for 3 days and I was found by my two older sibbling (fuckin snitch-) who shoved me infront of my mom who was like 

“oh honey there you are :D” 

and lead me away to and ancient realm or smthhin

and I still remember every detail and this bullshit was three days ago