Havent written anything to myself since forever. Probably more than a year?
It's 3 days after my birthday, 1 day after I returned from Bali.
What prompted me to note down my thoughts again, you may ask.
Well, he wrote me a letter for my birthday. It's been almost 3 years. I'm happy, but today, i feel sad as well.
Perhaps it's because after reading his letter, I'm once again unsure of how long things will last. I wonder if we are walking further and further away from one another. I wonder if one day we won't be able to meet in the middle anymore.
I think about my work often now. It's probably the main thing on my mind these days. Work, him, and misc.
I complain a lot, but I do nothing to change my situation, it's my fault and I know that. I have a horrible fallacy of avoiding things that scare me. I run and run, until I can't anymore. And then I make do with the situation and choose the easy way out. I hate myself for it, yet the more I think, the more I hate myself.
If only writing things down would lighten my burden. If only my worries and my hatred could be left in these letters, and leave me 21 grams lighter.
I'm already 24, yet little has changed.
Hey, I want you to know that you have to change your situation, because no one else will change it for you.