A belated birthday gift for one of the best people out there, @mab-speaks. Happy birthday, my dear. I hope all is going well.
Betaed by the kind and sweet @percyinpanties.
Read it on AO3.
“Thing is, as I was choking just now, I kept thinking: this is payback for Akhlys. The Fates are letting me die the same way I tried to kill that goddess. And… honestly, a part of me felt I deserved it. That’s why I didn’t try to control the giant’s poison and move it away from me. That probably sounds crazy.”
Jason thought back to Ithaca, when he was despairing over the visit from his mom’s spirit. “No. I think I get it.”
Percy studied his face.
Jason stayed silent for a moment, weighing his words. Just when Percy looked like he was about to change the topic, he spoke.
“I mean that when I felt the Imperial Gold sword go through me and burn my skin, I felt like that was punishment, too.”
His hand went down to his belly where he could almost feel the burn of the scar seething through his clothes, and a wry smile creeped on his face.
“Like some kind of joke - It was a roman, an ultimately traitorous spirit at that, who did it, and the guys from Camp Jupiter probably are saying now I backstabbed them by siding with you, not to mention what happened with mom. So really, I can relate.”
Percy said nothing. When it looked like Jason had nothing more to add, Percy opened his mouth to say something, but Jason continued.
“Look, I get it. Your pain is valid, dude. But you don’t deserve to die - not like this, not ever.
You make mistakes, we all do. But beating yourself up over self-defense that happened in the heat of the moment - that’s understandable.”
Percy chuckled without humour.
“Look, I appreciate the thought, Jason, but we should head back, shouldn’t we?” His smile didn’t reach his eyes, and he seemed to know it because he wouldn’t meet Jason’s gaze.
Jason took a deep breath.
“Yeah, let’s. Wouldn’t want to make them think we actually ended up kicking the bucket in your element.”
Jason started when he heard a knock on his door, his mind worn out after guard duty.
“Jason?” a voice whispered. Percy.
“Come in.” Jason said, trying not to slur his words.
Percy came in, but then stood there as if he didn’t know what to do with himself.
“Take a seat.” Jason said, waving in the general direction of the bed, and Percy sat down.
“So, what do you wanna to talk about?” Jason said as gently as possible.
“Why did you think you deserved it?” Percy said, his eyes averted.
Jason tilted his head. “I already told you. What do you mean?”
“I know you said that you think Camp Jupiter thought that.” A brief, choked-sounding laugh wrought its way out of Percy. “But why would that make you believe that you deserved it?”
Jason stared at his hands, folding them in his lap, noticing Percy’s eyes followed the motion.
“Asking whether you believe in fate is stupid, but… See, did the people at Camp Half-Blood immediately try to make you a leader of the people because you’re the sea god’s son?”
Jason heard Percy shuffle, probably frowning while moving.
“Not immediately. They did act weird once I was claimed, but people still trusted Chiron more with leading the camp than me.”
Jason couldn’t help the huff.
“See, that was different in Camp Jupiter. Once I was claimed, they immediately tried to groom me into the praetor position. Offered me a spot in the first cohort, and I refused, picking the least favourite. I figured that if all cohorts really did have the same rights, they’d have no problem and wouldn’t speak up, but they did and I mostly joined to defy them.”
His hands separated and he traced the lines on his forearm with slightly trembling fingers.
“Not that I had a choice about joining in the first place.”
“I heard. I mean, I was thrown in with the cohorts, too, son of the sea god and all - even if they put me in the fifth right away.” Percy said.
Jason nodded, then continued. “Things didn’t stop there. For every good deed I did, they tried to offer me a promotion to get away from these oh-so-awful people. ‘Centurio’, they whispered, ‘then general, and then praetor’ - raising in ranks swiftly. They weren’t stupid enough to tell me personally, but… it was obvious.”
Percy chuckled, a little dark-sounding. “Yeah, they tend to underestimate kids.”
Jason chuckled himself. “For whatever reason anyone might think you’re stupid. Anyway, after destroying the throne on Mount Othrys and slaying the titan, I couldn’t reasonably say ‘no’ anymore, so - praetor it was. People expected Reyna and I would become a couple because we were colleagues, which… that’s still a bit fuzzy. Then I vanished.”
Percy nodded. “I went on multiple quests myself as the leading demigod, but we never really had one of our own leading outside of that, or battles and Capture the Flag, I think. Well, aside from the whole head counsellor thing. Chiron usually takes the responsibility as our instructor, and Mr. D shares the same right if he wants to or not.”
Jason laughed weakly. “Sounds like a dream, at least for the most part. And even then, it’s more like a parliament.” He paused, looking Percy in the eye.
“Promise you won’t take the next thing personally? Because it’s not meant that way.”
Percy raised an eyebrow.
“I’m careful with promises. But I’ll try not to judge.”
“Fair enough.” Jason breathed in and out, feeling more awake after their chat so far.
“So I vanished and was gone for half a year after I defied them and what they called my birthright - my role in life as set by the Fates. Reyna held out with no other praetor. And then you appear - son of a hated god, and you turn everything upside-down. You retrieve the Eagle.” Jason inclined his head. “Thank you for that, by the bye.”
“No problem,” Percy said.
“You help with the ensuing battle. And from one second to another, everyone forgets about their oh-so precious son of the highest god. You’re immediately voted praetor and Reyna takes an interest in you.” His eyes narrowed. “Then I come back and am quickly welcomed, but awkwardly at best, and I feel the pressure flooding back already- and then the attack happens and everyone is happy to follow Octavian’s accusations that I’m traitorous graecus scum. No offense.”
“None taken.” Percy looked guilty. That must be that infamous kicked seal baby face Annabeth had talked about. “It wasn’t - that’s not what I wanted to do, Jason -”
“I don’t blame you for it.” Jason said. Percy looked at him normally again, and Jason returned the look with a wry smile. “You were thrown in there like I was. It’s almost funny how what happened to us kind of mirrors the other, in a messed-up way.”
Percy laughed bitterly. “Oh, tell me about it.”
Jason’s smile turned solemn.
“I defied them - not entering the first cohort and getting easy promotions, but working my way up the ranks instead. Not choosing prestige, but outsiders. Not choosing traditional romance -”
Percy made a noise at that, though whether it was a snort, a huff, or something else, Jason couldn’t tell.
“- but friendship. I challenged them in their ideas instead of just falling in line like a good soldier. And that’s just the things I recall from the top of my head.” Jason shook his head.
“And I lost my memories for it. I sided with reason, I thought, and with Camp Half-Blood, not Camp Jupiter as I would’ve been expected to be. I betrayed them and was backstabbed myself.
Of course I deserved that - I mean, judging from what happened with you... I-I was easy to replace to begin with.” He had to choke out the last words and was fighting back tears and bitterness. Jason had his hands placed in his lap again to keep from fumbling.
Percy scooted closer, one hand raised. “May I?,” he asked, and Jason nodded. He still stiffened when he felt Percy hug him before slumping.
“I made my decision, Percy. But sometimes, I can’t help but feel like I should have died in those ruins.”
Percy hugged him harder, and tears began to flow.
“And I told you - I feel like I maybe should have died from that poison. But I didn’t.”
Jason slowly returned the embrace.
“So you see what I meant? No worth in taking a stab at it.” He said humourlessly, but neither of them commented on his pun.
They separated, and Jason couldn’t help but ask. “So, you told me the basics, but would you mind telling me more of your career as a demigod?”
Percy chuckled, sounding exhausted himself, but more liberated. “Only if you tell me about yours.”
“It’s a deal,” Jason smiled and lay back on his bed. “Just tell me. We can talk and, if needed, fall asleep. We need sleep. And -” he struggled with the words, “And if necessary, we can tell each other - after.” He said it carefully, as if not to test the Fates, as if there would be no ‘after’.
Percy regarded him silently. “That sounds like a plan.”
Jason looked forward to it.
It took time until they got to talk again, longer than Jason would’ve liked. They ended up not dying to Gaea, fortunately, and after the buzz of victory subseded, Percy approached Jason in his cabin. It would not be much longer until Jason would be on the road and fulfilling his duties.
“Come in,” Jason said, raising his head when he saw it was Percy standing on the door. “Ah, it’s you. Take a seat.”
Percy took Jason up on the offer, less awkward than last time. “I wanted to talk to you again,” Percy said. Eyes averted, he added, “I didn’t know how to before, with all that happened.”
Losing Leo still hurt, so the words stung more than they should have, but Jason appreciated the sentiment.
“How are you holding up?” Percy asked.
“I’ll live,” Jason said. “I survived a stab to the gut, I’ll live with a stab to the heart.”
“Dude.” Percy said.
“Don’t appreciate my brilliant jokes?” Jason said with an empty smile. It slipped quickly. “It hurts, just like any other time when I lost someone.”
“Do you wish it had been you?” Percy asked, and Jason jolted at the question.
“You ask that as if you were asked the same, and answered yes.” Jason said.
Percy frowned. “You’re dodging the question, but yes.”
“Kind of, yes. Through fire or storm, it said. It could have been me.” Jason buried his face in his arms. “Maybe it should have been me, Percy.”
“And that’s where I have to stop you,” Percy said with a hand on his shoulder. “This thing is called ‘survivor’s guilt’ and it’s dangerous.”
“You sound like an expert,” Jason said.
“That’s because I started going to one,” Percy answered. When Jason looked up, Percy shrugged. “I have plans, man. Will told me about PTSD after the Titan War... and told me to see a therapist.
I didn’t really have much time for it before -” there it was again, that humourless smile with a handwave as if it was nothing, “- what with the kidnapping and all, but I had a session with a demigod therapist yesterday.” He started rubbing his hand in circles, giving Jason an emphatic look. “You should, too. These talks with you help, but they can’t replace a professional.”
“Look at you, acting all grown-up and mature,” Jason said, eyes at half-lid. “You’re not even a year older than me, Percy.”
“And you have barely an inch on me, that balances it out,” Percy teased back.
They shared a moment of silence.
“Would you mind telling me about this ‘survivor’s guilt’ of yours?,” Jason asked quietly. Percy nodded.
“Back when I was still pretty new to being a demigod, I was on a quest to find some demigods - Nico and his sister, as it turned out.”
Jason raised his head. “I don’t like where this is going.”
Percy nodded. “Well, we managed, but Annabeth got lost in the process, so as usual, some people were sent on a quest. And Bianca, Nico’s sister, was among them.”
Jason raised an eyebrow. “You weren’t?”
Percy shook his head.
“I wasn’t told to go with them, but I was worried about Annabeth. I couldn’t not go. So I went with them in secret and broke the rules.” He took his hand back, turning more towards Jason. “We were on a junkyard and there was a figurine of a game Nico liked. He was so happy and chipper and frankly annoying back then, you wouldn’t have recognized him.” He clenched his fists. “Taking the figurine triggered an alarm and a giant junk robot awakened. Bianca went to shut it down and did it, but never returned, as told by the prophecy.”
Jason blinked. “That’s - harsh. And Nico didn’t take it well.”
Percy shook his head. “I’d promised to keep her safe, and I failed. Nico blamed me, and I blamed myself, for her death and for Nico disappearing after.” He looked Jason directly in the eye. “What happened after isn’t my story to tell, but I blamed myself for it. I still kind of do, just like for what happened to Calypso, who I left behind to help the people here, or Beckendorf and Silena, or Castor, or Michael, or Bob, or Ethan, or - or Luke even.” His voice had grown quieter with each name, and Jason had a feeling that they weren’t the only ones. Hesitating, Jason let his hand hover in the air, unsure of how to act, before he rubbed his hand in soothing circles over Percy’s shoulder.
Jason frowned, concerned. “Percy, that’s not your fault. We can’t save everyone. You did what you had to do, and you did your best.”
“I did. It doesn’t change the fact that I failed,” Percy emphasized, “but I did, and I’m working on it. And I still catch myself looking at Nico and wondering whether he’d still be that upbeat kid if I had managed to save Bianca.”
“I see where you’re getting at.” Jason said. He opened his arms for a hug, and Percy accepted. When they broke apart they smiled. It didn’t quite reach either of their eyes, but still, they smiled.
“Thanks, Percy. I really appreciate it.” He looked down. “I appreciate you.”
“No problem, man,” Percy said. “All in clear communication.”
Jason chuckled. “Man, imagine how awkward things would have been if we hadn’t talked.”
Percy snorted.
“You say that as if your personality allowed leaving people alone.” He patted Jason on the shoulder. “You’re a hopeless people person, and that makes you awesome.”
Jason snorted himself. “And what about you? Have you ever looked back at your history, man?”
Smiling, they went on to a friendly fight of out-praising each other. And later on, they fought in the arena, feeling good about having found an equal in mind and fighting capabilities.
(The beginning was taken from House of Hades under Fair Use)
🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?
hmmm. 7, perhaps? if it's for other people's works, i'd enjoy the early access to their writing so much but feel sad that i can't really provide feedback beyond proofreading grammar and spelling because i hold the belief that people should just go ham with their own plot, story direction etc no matter how wild 💯
🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here
this is a little more than 50 words but here you go 🙏
Hesitancy clouds Percy’s expression at first, but it doesn’t take much time for him to cave in. Such is the power of Jason’s puppy face, paired with the earnestness in his voice to make quite the lethal combination. Without being prompted, he wordlessly presents his other wrist to Jason.
“I’ll take your word for it, then.” He smirks. “You did come untouched.”
❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?
jercy mpreg au in which jason is the most submissive bottom and percy is the roughest, horniest top featuring the dirtiest, hottest smut scenes and the softest, warmest fluffy ones 🙏 i'm gonna be honest (not that i'm asking at all) but i can't think of anyone else but you! you are an Icon, a Legend and the Moment. 🙏❤️💐
Hey. Long time no see, Tumblr. I’ve been very busy with RL study things, but tonight I needed to just play around with my tablet. Have some practice!Apollo. I’m bullshitting my way through shading until it makes sense... one day, it will. XD
I don’t know if the sign Hearthstone is using is known in American sign language, but over here it’s used like: “What the … is that??”
And Blitzen would respond, shrugging: “I just thought it would match beautifully with your ey… ehm… with your scarf!!”
Merry Christmas my dear friend @mab-speaks - this is a little present for you!!
I thought, I could do more drawings during December as Christmas presents for my fandom and tumblr friends - but time passed too fast or I was too tired, so for now this is the only one I finished…
Hopefully I’ll have some time during next week because I don’t have to work until after New Years!!
For the ask-meme .... "Can I tell you a secret?" With Solangelo
As you wish. For this one, I used someone’s headcanon of Nico having a pet crow. It might be due to my weakness for Nico with pets. Maybe.
Read it on AO3.
A Caw for Attention one cawn’t refuse
Nico’s day took a turn when the crow cawed on the top of his cabin after he exited and looked at him with black, beady eyes. The bird’s eyes held an eerie intelligence that made shivers run down the son of Hades’ back. When he turned around to walk away, the crow cawed again, and when Nico walked, he heard the flutter of wings as it glided closer and landed in front of him.
With a raised eyebrow, Nico tried to ignore the bird to continue on his way, but the pesky little thing hopped back into his way. With a sigh, Nico gave up. “Is there something I can do to help?” he asked, not feeling quaint at all for talking to a bird. Then again, he was the son of a Greek god in a camp with dryads and naiads and satyrs that was lead by a thousands of years-old centaur. It’s not like this was too much out of order.
The crow tilted its head and cawed again, flying past him into the direction of the woods. Without thinking too much about it, he followed the bird in the direction of the North Woods, his hand resting on his Stygian iron sword.
As he made his way through the woods, he thought about a strategy in case this was a trap. Was there a god or goddess well-known for changing into ravens, or one that had one as their sacred animal? The only myth he could recall was that of Arne, and that one didn’t involve crows themselves.
Why would a crow trust him, anyways? Wouldn’t a child of Hecate or of Nemesis be a much better fit than a child of Hades, the God of the Underworld who probably smelled of death and darkness even now?
As Nico proceeded, light breaking through the leaves over him and birds singing their courting songs, he looked about carefully while the crow flew and hopped from branch to branch, cawing occasionally when Nico threatened to deviate off the way. After passing a clearing, he was standing amidst trees in a more quiet section of the forest, the tranquil silence only occasionally disrupted by the far sounds of birds and the nearby river.
The crow had landed on a branch by now, no longer keeping the distance between them. When Nico arrived at the place the crow had led him to, his eyes went wide at the beautiful scenery surrounding the crow in between. Its wing was standing out at an unhealthy-looking angle and it called out almost fearfully, looking at its companion as if to say Are you nuts? This guy smells of trouble!
Refused by a crow. That only stung a little.
Nevertheless, Nico got closer to the crow, careful not to touch it by accident. The time he’d had to spend in the infirmary might not have prepared him for tending to animals other than the obvious, not completely animal residents of Camp Half-Blood, but he got a few things from working with Will. Nico took off the light jacket he was wearing (Which hopefully didn’t smell much like him) and picked the injured bird up, careful not to touch the hurt wing. After he had secured a stable stance for the crow, he held it gently.
“I’m taking you to the infirmary to heal you,” Nico said, feeling obligated to inform the apparently intelligent birds. When he was met with protest, he fished a bit of bread he’d taken from the dining table - Will would have his head if he didn’t keep an emergency supply of basic nutrient providers with him, and he’s been hungry anyway - and ripped it into small, edible bits which he offered to the injured bird. When it took one of the pieces hesitantly, the other one squawked again, as if to tell it Yeah, just what I was talking about, idiot.
Speaking of which, there’d been a crow the past few weeks after he’d fed some when he’d been in the city. Maybe the bird had followed him?
Shaking his head, Nico returned to Camp, offering small pieces to the bird in his arms every now and then.
Even two weeks after the incident, the crows hadn’t stopped following him. Nico still fed them a little sometimes, and every time the crows would squawk appreciatively. To make matters easier, Nico even gave them names - Corvus for the one who had gotten him, Corax for the formerly injured one. Being the intelligent, polite birds they were, they even behaved considerate and refrained from staining his or any other cabin.
Nico wasn’t aware of their reasons for staying with him, but the didn’t mind the duo. He was admittedly surprised when the crows didn’t leave him after the Corax’s wings had healed, and even more when one time, Corvus perched on his shoulder - resulting in him yelping slightly - and rubbed against his cheek slightly. Nico hesitantly extended a finger and lightly scratched it and the crow even leaned into it, closing its eyelids and adjusting the angle slightly.
He usually was accompanied by at least one of them, either Corvus or Corax, sometimes both of them. While he didn’t feed them too often - especially not with bread after being told that birds apparently digest bread as well as humans do with grass - he fed them in an almost regular fashion, and apparently, crows worked in flocks as well. Soon enough, the camp grounds were even more alive, if only with crows now. If Chiron was upset, he didn’t show it.
When Will saw the birds for the first time, he had forbidden Nico from bringing “pets” to the infirmary due to sanitary reasons. Nico blinked a few times, but he shrugged and asked the birds to wait for him outside. When Nico went outside again after working, Corvus and Corax claimed their places again and Nico ruffled both of them, a smile unbeknownst to him gracing his features. The other crows were resting on top of the infarmary.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Will said and Nico looked at him while Will’s gaze was fixed on the sea in the distance, Nico being unable to see his face. “I may not permit them in the infirmary, but I like these birds. They seem to be healthy for you.” Will turned around to face Nico. “You know, you may be annoying and antisocial, di Angelo, but-” he paused before continuing, almost whispering, “I like seeing them making you smile.”
Nico raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about, Solace?”
Will smiled a little. “Having animals spend time with the patient is one of many therapeutic measures. I won’t go into it too deeply, I want to eat dinner, after all, but the effect of contact with animals seems to be present with you as well, even though the animals are a little different from the usual dogs.”
Nico smirked at that. “Oh, are you jealous, Solace?”
Will rolled his eyes. “Dream on, Death Boy. It’s from a purely professional point of view, after all.” He huffed a little, heading off towards the dining pavilion. “But I admit that your smile is nice. Healing is important, and I’m glad these crows are helping you with it.” He suddenly turned around. “Also, while I haven’t had the chance to watch them, I was told that you resemble a dark Disney princess nowadays.” Without waiting for him, Will ran off.
Nico didn’t realize he had stopped scratching his birds’ bellies until they squawked. When he returned to work, his smile returned as he looked at his companions. “My smile is nice, huh…” he mused while Corax cawed as though to confirm this. With a small chuckle, Nico went to eat some dinner himself.
After he found out about Disney princesses, his chuckle got stuck in his throat. Fortunately, the crows treated him like royalty - enough to resemble an army Nico could send against a certain son of Apollo.
