Nothing is funnier to me then Jamie coming out in a like 20 questions themed article and literally no press gets it.
So Jamie what’s your plan for after the final?
God mate gonna go on vacation with my boyfriend and relax for a while
Lovely! Sounds like a fabulous boys trip!
Yeah we’ve like planned it for months I’m super excited to spend time with him!
Literally everyone just thinks he means boy, friend.
When they get engaged he says “oh me and my fiancé are going out for dinner after this” and the press is like ‘Jamie Tartt’s mystery women is now fiancée? We’ll hopefully see her tonight.’
Photos of him and Roy show up places later and the news is like ‘trouble in paradise? Jamie Tartt’s mystery woman nowhere to be seen.’
The press going wild after finding a slutty mirror pic Jamie posted years ago of him and two models.
He doesn’t understand what’s so crazy about having a threesome but apparently they are freaking out about the fact one of the models is a guy??
He’s asked about it and he just goes “mate have you seen us, course we wanted to have a threesome”
And the press is like no no not that part the guy part we assume you guys didn’t do anything and are just bros??
Jamie is like wtf I had that man in a bed ofc I was gonna hook up with him as much as the girl he’s gorgeous???
He also points out it’s no longer relevant since he’s happily engaged and him and his fiancé have talked about it?? Like wow old news okay gotta be a slow news week losers.
Roy is just standing off to the side banging his head into the wall because Christ Jamie have some tact when announcing our engagement.
Jamie is fully confident enough to pull of all sorts of shit.
Phoebe paints his nails with the most glitter polish ever? Great he loves them please repaint them when they chip Phoe.
Jamie! Roy and mommy said if you’re willing to put pink in your hair I can have a streak. Oh really? Bet. Jamie ends up with a pink streak in his hair that he loves.
Keeley wants to play dress up with her platonic ken doll? Yeah sure I’ll put on a skirt my legs look fabulous take a pic Twitter will lose it.
Roy is terrified at meeting Georgie as officially a boyfriend? Jamie laughs. He can’t help it. His mom loves Roy. It’s Simon he should be worried about.
The guys making a bet that Jamie looses and so Jamie has to wax his entire body? Fine it hurt but it’s not that bad. Jamie didn’t tell Roy and surprises him that night, Roy is just flat on the bed watching this Angel above him.
Jamie is still the extremely confident person he always was he’s just nice about it now.
Jamie asleep on their bed in only a jersey of Roy’s he meant for it to be a fun little surprise but passed out from exhaustion-
Roy comes home, finds him and is completely overwhelmed with his name on Jamie’s back and goes and sits on the bathroom floor he looks up jewelry shops and keeps glancing up at Jamie still passed out.
13 year old Jamie flinching when his dad puts his hand on his shoulder because the force of it makes him bend.
17 year old Jamie having a black eye for two weeks after his dads been around again and insisting he got it during a match and the ref just didn’t see.
19 year old Jamie in a serious relationship for the first time and she drags her nails down his arm hard enough to break skin in a small argument. She smacks his face three days later.
20 year old Jamie who’s just had a wine glass tossed at his head from a girl who thought he was cheating, he wasn’t but that doesn’t seem to matter.
21 year old Jamie who had a secret boyfriend for three months until he gets shoved into a wall for not wanting to be the first out player because ‘Jamie think of both our careers, we would be icons’.
23 year old Jamie who’s had maybe the healthiest relationship of his life with Keeley being at a bar for the first time after they break up, he gets his face slapped by a girl who thinks he was flirting with her boyfriend.
27 year old Jamie in a relationship with Roy and the first time they really argue he throws his hands in front of himself and closes his eyes when Roy gestures.
Roy fully freezes and steps four feet back and asks Jamie to open his eyes. Jamie who honestly didn’t realize his eyes were closed looks shocked. He asks Roy why he’s so far away now.
Roy looks like he’s about to cry, Jamie lunges to him holding his face asking what happened. Roy has to stutter out a ‘you flinched’ and now it’s Jamie’s turn to freeze. No one has ever brought up the flinching before, taken advantage of it? Yeah. Ignored it? Definitely. Asked in a voice that’s about to cry? No, no that’s new.
He insists he’s fine, he knows Roy would never hit him. Roy looks at him like he’s lost his mind and refuses to brush this off. They talk for hours, Jamie tells Roy everything. All the ex’s, everything his father has ever done, ex teammates who slapped backs too hard to be friendly.
Everything.
By the end they are both crying and Jamie has agreed to talk to a therapist. When they go to bed that night Roy is terrified to grab onto Jamie and pull him on top like he normally does. Jamie has no such issues and rolls right on top of Roy, head tucked into Roy’s neck like every night.
Shoving more of my Jamie is a cat person agenda down people’s throats
Jamie LOVES animals. He literally always wanted a pet growing up but understood they couldn’t afford one. When he got older and learned he was going to actually be staying at Richmond he decided to look into a pet.
At first he wanted a dog but got worried he wouldn’t be around enough for it. He started looking at cats and loved them but he couldn’t stand the idea of fur on his clothing every single day.
Roy pointed out hairless cats one morning and Jamie got hooked. He gets one on the off season and names it Marigold. You better believe Jamie is fucking obsessed with her. He loves this cat more then anything.
He buys literally everything cute he possibly could find and then once all the team members find out she needs to wear clothing or else she’ll get cold they go NUTS. That cat is decked out in Gucci and Chanel and some goddamn expensive custom things.
Roy hates her at first. He keeps referring to her as ‘that fucking raw chicken that escaped Gordon Ramsay.’
She grows on Roy once he realizes he never has to worry about cat fur on his black clothing so they can keep their relationship quiet for a bit longer.  
Roy/Jamie prompt: Roy witnesses Jamie holding a newborn baby with effortless ease and suddenly he’s struck by both how much he’s in love with that gorgeous Tartt and how much he wants babies with him. When he brings it up with Jamie, Roy I’d stunned by how much Jamie would love the same thing with him.
WAAAAA YEAAAAAAAAAHHH LITERALLY CANT TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I AM FOR THIS ONE—
Everyone’s happy for Colin, he’s not the first to get married but he is the first to have a kid.
He’s invited people over in groups of three of four, but he invited just Roy and Jamie over together.
It’s a fabulous time, Colin and Michael are exhausted but so happy, Jamie ends up holding Lucy for most of it. Roy offers that the two of them can go take a nap if they want. He took care of Phoebe when she was this little, he knows how babies work.
He leans in the kitchen door way watching the two of them stagger off into their bedroom, he can hear Jamie talking to Lucy. He turns to the living room walking in with a bottle, he stops.
Shit.
God Jamie looks fabulous with a kid in his arms.
Fuck.
God he loves Jamie. He wants to have a kid with Jamie.
See this isn’t a new thought for Roy, he’s had it a few times over the past couple years of their relationship. He always knew he wanted kids, he’s fairly sure Jamie wants kids. But it’s just been one of those things they never talked about.
“See Lu? I told you Roy would come with food soon. No need to worry.”
Roy walks over and sits on the arm of the couch, he passes the bottle over to Jamie. Lucy starts drinking as soon as she gets ahold of the bottle.
“Ever think about it?”
Jamie looks up at Roy. He has his headband on today, God Roy never thought he’d like that headband as much as he does.
“Think about what babe?”
Roy gestures towards Lucy.
“Shit kids? Have you thought about it?”
Roy nods. He takes a breath. Here goes nothing. “I mean yeah, I have. I’d love a kid with you.”
Jamie blinks at Roy for a second. Slowly a grin cracks over his face, “oh my god Roy you want to have a kid with me.”
Roy smiles down at the two of them. “Yeah, Tartt I do.”
Jamie gets a pinched look and shakes his head. “We can’t yet though.” Roy brushes some of the wispy hair out of Lucy’s face. He swallows, Christ why not oh god fuck it all why not.
“We can’t have a kid before we get married Roy. My mum would have my head. Anyways, we need to all have matching last names.”
Roy blinks.
“Did you just propose to me in Colin’s living room while holding his kid.”
Jamie during Roy’s panic, had gotten up and put Lucy in the crib in the corner of the room. He walks back to where Roy is perched on the couch arm and lightly shoves him onto the couch.
“I’d like to think of it as a pre proposal.”
Roy blinks again.
“Well gosh Roy don’t rush on giving me an answer or anything it’s not like you’re getting any younger.”
Roy smacks Jamie’s hip from where he’s standing before pulling him down onto his lap and kissing him.
“Yes Jamie, the answer is a yes.”
Jamie let’s out a quiet whoop to not wake Lucy. He kisses Roy with such force that Roy is a bit terrified that Colin is going to kick them out if he ever sees this on the nanny cam.
“Roy Kent Tartt doesn’t have a great sound to it.”
Jamie gasps, “fuck that I’m taking your last name. The Tartt name dies with me dad. Mum has her maiden name, and no kid of ours is having Tartt as a last name.”
Roy grins, oh that does wonders to satisfy the strong possessive urges he has with Jamie sometimes. God Jamie’s jersey having Kent on the back.
“So marriage then a kid?” Jamie nods leaning to kiss Roy again. “I’ve got a name already picks for a girl so you’re just gonna have to deal with that.”
Roy laughs, he couldn’t care what Jamie wants to name their kid. He’s winning today no matter their future daughters name.
