Summary: As Optimus tries to kill Megatron, there is some doubts about Optimus' actions among the Autobots, causing Optimus to doubt himself.
Optimus’ visits to Frieren lost their routine. It started to become more spontaneous and erratic. Both for personal and professional reasons.
With the Iacon Hall of Records now in play, Optimus didn’t know when or where the Decepticons would find the next relic. They had the advantage with the stolen archive files on their ship. Optimus and the rest of the Autobots had to remain on high alert. Optimus would try to make up for it by coming over at a higher frequency over the span of a few days. The Autobots hadn’t questioned him about that yet. Optimus has tried to implore Frieren to use her magic to try and find the relics, but she has repeatedly stated that she doesn’t want to be involved with the war, no matter how much this relic hunt intrigued her. So that idea went nowhere.
However, Optimus was impressed that one of Frieren’s spells had managed to override the powers of the Matrix of Leadership and retrieve some of his lost memories during his time on the Decepticon Warship. He had asked Frieren if she could try to repeat the spell a few times to see if they could get more memories out of him. It worked a few more times, and Optimus was able to see bits and pieces of his time as Orion Pax, but the coordinates for the first three Iacon relics were still vague, and there wasn’t enough information that would have crippled the Decepticons.
…He did feel somewhat bitter when he saw Megatron pretending to be kinder to Optimus. But at the end of the day, none of it was truly vital in the Autobot cause.
Which is why Optimus focused all of his efforts in trying to kill Megatron any chance that he got. Before he deployed Bumblebee to take the Spark Extractor from Megatron, Optimus had managed to fire a few rounds directly at Megatron and it connected. Optimus could see the disbelief in Megatron’s optics, but the Prime had to focus his attention more on the vehicons charging at him and Ratchet.
The second time was with the Forge of Solus Prime. Megatron held the hammer over his shoulder, but the moment Megatron turned his back on Optimus, the Prime managed to fire a shot directly at his shoulder, sending him tumbling through the spacebridge. Knockout and Breakdown scrambled to escape, but Megatron had left with the Forge.
At the very least, Bulkhead was alive, and Bumblebee was able to recover his T-Cog. But the two Autobots did seem surprised at his actions.
Dreadwing, he had let live when the Decepticon first arrived on Earth. He had a sense of honor to him, and was really fighting to avenge his twin. Maybe he hoped that Dreadwing would defect and change sides, but Dreadwing blamed the Autobots for Skyquake’s death.
The third incident, and the most damning one that caused the Autobots to question him, was when they had found Megatron battling the Insecticon in the cave. Arcee charged off after Airachnid, and the remaining three were left with an injured Megatron, who had tried to stand tall but collapsed to his knees.
“It would seem I am unarmed and at your mercy.” Optimus spotted the wound on Megatron’s shoulder, “So tell me Optimus,”
Optimus couldn’t help but feel angry as Megatron continued to speak. All of this was still happening because of one decision. Of him not taking Megatron’s life when he had the chance. Optimus didn’t even let Megatron finish as he pulled out his blaster and fired at Megatron’s open wound to get him to shut up. Bumblebee and Bulkhead looked gob smacked at his sudden decision, while Megatron…Optimus could tell that there was a swirl of disbelief, rage, and a hint of fear. Optimus never got to fire that killing shot before Dreadwing and the Decepticons came to rescue Megatron. Bulkhead still encouraged Optimus to kill Megatron, but Bumblebee still looked conflicted.
They did escape with their lives that day, but…
“Optimus?” Bumblebee called out to the Prime before he entered his room, “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine, Bumblebee. I am just tired.” That genuinely wasn’t a lie. He was extremely tired.
“But…you’ve been acting differently,” Bumblebee proclaimed.
Optimus couldn’t help but grow tense at that. “Different?”
“You’ve…you’ve been trying so hard to kill Megatron ever since you got your memories back,” Bumblebee began, “Which is fine! We think that’s the best course of action, but…you just seem…angrier when trying to do it. And also…I’ve noticed you sneaking out of the base at night?”
Scrap.
“I just want to know if everything is okay?” Bumblebee asked.
“…Is this something that the other Autobots had voiced concerns about?” Optimus asked.
Bumblebee didn’t reply, confirming Optimus’ suspicions. Optimus regained his composure before placing a servo on Bumblebee’s shoulder. “Bumblebee, I promise you that I am alright…I am just trying to make up for a lot of the mistakes I have made in the past. I do not want Megatron harming another soul, which is why I have been trying so desperately to stop him.”
“But…why are you leaving the base so late?” Bumblebee asked.
“I am trying to perform more reconnaissance and bring back more energon,” Optimus reassured. That technically wasn’t a lie. He still has been getting his energon from Frieren, “That is all. I can assure you.”
“…okay. I trust you.”
Optimus couldn’t help but feel a tremendous about of guilt when he had to wait for all the Autobots to be out of the base before taking the groundbridge directly to Frieren’s home.
==
Moments Later
“Having trouble killing Megatron?” Frieren asked as she was sorting through her books.
“At this point, I should assume divine intervention is what is protecting him,” Optimus grimaced.
“Or maybe you’re just not fast enough,” Frieren teased.
“I have good marksman skills,” Optimus insisted, a little offended by Frieren’s taunts.
“It’s not a matter of how good your aim is. It’s how fast you can fire,” Frieren declared, “Sure, I am an extremely powerful mage, but if I can’t fire off spells fast enough, the enemy might take advantage of any openings in my defensive barriers. It took me years to master the quick draw efficiency that my apprentice had always been good at.”
Optimus blinked at that. “Apprentice? You never mentioned an apprentice.”
Frieren looked over at Optimus. “Really? I could have sworn I did during conversation.”
Optimus shook his helm.
“Well,” Frieren smiled as she summoned her staff, “Her name was Fern. She was Heiter’s daughter, well, adopted daughter. Heiter still was a priest after all. But he took her in after she lost her parents in war. She was very skilled with magic, able to cast spells at a frequency much higher than me. She ended up coming with me on my travels after Heiter died…she was like a daughter to me.”
Frieren then gestured to the purple cloth on her staff with a gemstone attached to the end of it. “This actually belonged to her. It was originally part of her staff…but she gifted it to me before she had passed away.”
“…I am sorry for your loss,” Optimus apologized.
“Don’t be,” Frieren reassured, “Fern lived a long and happy life. That’s all I could ever hope for.”
Optimus supposed that there was some comfort in that.
“…May I ask something?” Frieren began.
“Of course,” Optimus answered.
“…what was your friendship with Megatron actually like?” Frieren asked.
Optimus’ servos twitched a little. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, in the past you have talked about not killing him and trying to get him to see reason. Initially I thought it was because you were just a kind person, but then you brought up the fact that you and Megatron used to be friends fighting for the same goal. I initially didn’t believe that claim…until I saw the memories hidden away,” Frieren explained.
Optimus remembered what Frieren was talking about. The way that Megatron had initially acted before Orion Pax learned the truth.
“Was that…was that how Megatron actually acted around you before everything?” Frieren asked, “Part of me believes that Megatron was just deceiving you, like any other demon.”
“...Megatronus did live a difficult life,” Optimus began, “He was of the lower castes system, and our system would not allow Cybertronians placed in their station to move any higher in order to improve their lives. Megatron’s only option was to become a gladiator and fight in deadly battles. But even then, despite his violent background, he still cared for his subordinates. He freed others that were indebted to someone else. He made his own speeches and inspired the masses. He genuinely wanted a better life for them.”
Optimus smiled bitterly. “And I, a lowly archivist who had no real reason to reach out to him, did. And he welcomed me into the fold as one of his own. He accepted me and trusted me…so imagine his anger when I was granted the title of a Prime instead of him. A title he worked so hard to obtain was snatched away by someone who knew little to nothing of his suffering.”
“…you blamed yourself…that’s why you’ve been hesitant about killing him,” Frieren realized.
“I thought that I could get him to see reason. That we could come to some sort of understanding. I have lost hope that he could be saved, but even now…I cannot help but be filled with regret,” Optimus confessed.
Optimus was confused when Frieren placed her hand on his servo. “Optimus…it’s not your fault.”
Optimus was surprised to hear those words. Part of him didn’t believe them, but another part of him couldn’t help but get emotional at those simple words. “I…appreciate your kindness Frieren.”
Optimus took some energon with him before deciding to drive all the way back to base, wanting time alone with his thoughts. But when he returned to base…the Autobots looked apprehensive. Asking where he had been. When he showed the energon, they immediately tried to shoot him down. Optimus couldn’t help but feel betrayed by such an action. Was this because he was trying to kill Megatron quicker? Did they see him as a threat because of that? He was trying to protect them!
It turned out that MECH had accomplished their goal of creating a Cybertronian fake to use as a weapon. The Prime had spent the next few weeks alone trying to clear his name with the U.S. Military and stop MECH in their tracks. The Autobots really were apologetic for how they acted around Optimus, but…Optimus couldn’t help but feel some sort of sting at their actions.
The Prime left the base via groundbridge and returned to Frieren’s home. He waited outside the tree for the mage for some time until he felt the roots open up behind him. Optimus spotted Frieren walking out of the tree, barefoot and wearing a thin white dress. Her hair was tied upward in a messy bun and Optimus noticed bags under her eyes.
“Oh…I was expecting you to come another time,” Frieren remarked, “I was going to soak in a hot spring a little upwards towards the mountain.”
“My apologies.” Optimus turned to leave.
“…There might be enough space for you to soak your feet in the water,” Frieren offered.
Optimus raised a brow in confusion. Would there really be enough space for him?
Later, Optimus found himself slowly dipping his feet into the rather large hot spring, trying his best to not stir the water. He saw Frieren next to him, completely submerged save for her head. She sighed with relief as she sank deeper into the water, her ears dropping slightly.
“This is nice,” Frieren moaned with delight.
“I was not aware there was a hot spring here,” Optimus remarked.
“I had to make it myself using my own magic,” Frieren explained, “If I stayed in a hot spring for too long, my disguise will disappear without me noticing. I need a private place to relax without expending my mana on a disguise.”
Optimus looked down at the water. “I suppose…this is quite peaceful.”
“I’m glad you like it. It seemed like you needed it,” Frieren commented.
“I did,” Optimus agreed, “There was much going on at the base.”
“Like what?” Frieren pressed.
“…There was a fake version of myself running around and causing havoc,” Optimus admitted.
“Oh? A puppet through magic?” Frieren asked.
“Not magic,” Optimus answered, “An organization called MECH had been taking the body parts of Cybertronians to create a replica of myself that they could control. It…caused my Autobots to almost turn against me.”
“That’s good,” Frieren sighed.
Optimus couldn’t help but flinch at those words. “They did not trust me.”
“It’s not a matter of trust. It’s about survival. You are the strongest out of all of them, I assume. So it’s only natural for them to respond negatively if that power was turned against them,” Frieren reasoned, “Honestly, I wouldn’t shame Fern for something like that. If I found my body being controlled and attacking people I cared about, I’d want her to shoot me. Himmel would do the same too. I can’t imagine Himmel wanting to live with the thought of him betraying his friends.”
“…It’s not that,” Optimus began.
“Then what is it?” Frieren asked.
“…I feel as though this was just apart of the long list of reasons the Autobots have been questioning my intentions to kill Megatron,” Optimus explained, “When I don’t try to kill him, I get yelled at for it. When I do try to kill him, then I am questioned for being in my right mind. Am I becoming something they don’t recognize?”
Optimus stared down at his servos. “I think my greatest fear is that I will become like Megatron if I abandon my morals. That I will become something that I do not recognize. I am a Prime. I am supposed to be a paragon of peace and guidance. And if I do not follow that path, what does that make of me?...All I want to do is protect them.”
“…You’re too hard on yourself,” Frieren proclaimed.
“I feel as though I am not hard enough,” Optimus retorted.
“You remember the way I’ve talked about my comrades,” Frieren reminded, “None of them were perfect, including myself. Heiter, swinging between drunk and hung over, was always so kind to others. Eisen’s hands always trembled before the beginning of each fight. And Himmel wasn’t even a true hero. He was so vain and had a strong ego. We were not perfect, but we still managed to defeat the Demon King and save the world.”
Optimus remained quiet at that.
“Don’t push yourself too much,” Frieren advised, “It doesn’t hurt to take things slow, and don’t try to seek perfection. It’s impossible. Just…be there for your comrades in anyway you can. And I promise you, that you won’t lose yourself in all of this.”
“How are you so certain?” Optimus asked her.
“Because despite all that I’ve told you, you’re still here by my side,” Frieren answered, “I think that speaks volumes about your character. You still see the good in everyone.”
Optimus watched the steam rise into the air. “I do hope you are correct.”
“You really need to improve your self esteem,” Frieren chuckled.
i got some new transformers followers from tailgate boobs (hello i am so glad you enjoyed the tits) so i must ask,,,does anybody know any good starscream angst fics 😭 i have been in the mood for starscream angst
Hi hey hello. I hope you are doing alright. I wish you a speedy recovery from making an extensive world building for your fic. I have a curious question that suddenly popped in my head; is it safe to assume that Optimus (depending which AOP AU or mainstream fic) while stuck with Survey Corps, he also have mini misadventures that would be described as “educational” as Rescue Bots and “dramatic” as those One Chicago tv shows (Justice, PD, Fire, Med)? The fun speculation is that not only as a Survey Corps’ military officer/head advisor/assigned leader and a fun librarian/public educator to talk to but he also works in the giant metropolis of a walled city as one of their fire chiefs, law enforcement, legal representative, or even as a hospital physician etc. Prime would be working on lots of odd jobs while helping people out to advance their society as a daily social worker and first responder. It would be funny to watch Levi, Hanji, Eren, and others always attend Optimus’ Employee Of The Month award ceremonies on daily basis
Oh of course. It's part of the reason I've added those little moments in the Anthologies. Like Optimus telling stories, or Optimus helping clean up the place he was staying at during the Winter Anthology, or him opening his library up to the public. This is Optimus being active within the Walled World because he wants to build connections with the people he's trying to protect while also breaking down a lot of fears people might have a around a titan living in their society.
Obviously he wouldn't participate as a doctor, but if he participated as a makeshift ambulance to get someone on the countryside to a doctor in the city, it's a miracle in it of itself. Someone might randomly ask him to give a history lesson to some children.
He won't participate in any government proceedings because he feels he's infringing his will, especially since he is an outsider, but he will still give advice to local government officials if asked.
He wouldn't get employee of the month or something like that, but the Survey Corps would be stunned when the people he's helped ask them to give him certain items as a way to thank him for his hard work. They can't help but ask Optimus about it. Like how are you doing so much on your free time?!
Jazz makes an appearance! Where does he take Prowl?
This is not a hotel. It is not a legal habsuite either. Prowl had seen habsuites like this one before, photos of them a few times, during a case once. Unregistered mechanisms could not rent habsuites, they could not pass the credit checks. He had known what he was getting himself into when he put himself up for bid. He had known he had no way to know the legitimacy of the mechanism who bred him. It mattered a lot less to him than it could have. His buyer turned some nobs and oil filled a jacuzzi tub.
"Is it too warm?" His buyer asked. Prowl tested it and shook his helm.
"No, it is perfect," he replied. "What can I call you?"
"Jazz," his buyer said and he gave Prowl a soft kiss when he picked him from the chair and set him in the tub. "'M Jazz."
"You did not turn Chromedome over to the enforcers," Prowl guessed.
"No, Lovely," Jazz replied. "Ya don't need to worry 'bout him coming after ya or the bitties again."
"Good," Prowl leaned back into the bubbly oil. He had tried, he had tried for stellar-cycles to get transferred away from Chromedome, he had filed complaint after complaint. Flatfoot had dismissed them all. He had let Prowl be stalked and then beaten in exchange for a few credits.
"I'll get ya that Kremzeek," Jazz said. "Ya just relax. If the bitties make a beep, you'll hear it in the speakers."
Jazzy, why are you sharing a berth with Prowler? He’s not gonna be able to sleep for fear of his bitlets gettin ate up.
Guarding him. He's treating the cubs outside the norms so he is reinforcing that is not fair game. Prowl is afraid to recharge but ultimately can't help it.
