ALSO because i have a great need machace and mmmmmmmmmm 57 😘
song 57 - hey stephen (taylor’s version)
the way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name / it’s beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change / hey stephen, why are people always leaving? / I think you and I should stay the same
natasha trace doesn’t want to say goodbye to javy machado.
screw the friendship rules, that when a couple breaks up their best friends stay by their side and don’t interact with one another. they shouldn’t apply when the couple in question are being pigheaded and stupid and breaking up for no good reason.
jake and bradley can be stupid on their own, she and javy shouldn’t be dragged to their state of delusion, too.
but javy’s sticking by jake and avoiding her. not talking to her.
it’s making her a little miserable.
she’s a little miserable and a lot fed up with it so she does something about it.
when they’re done with training for the day, she parks bradley on his couch with some food, tv on, and a book on the cushion next to him. he’s taken care of, so she slips out to go to javy’s room. to put an end to their stupidity.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” his voice says, muffled by the door between them. “jeez, jake I barely left you alone for five minutes why are you pounding-”
“not jake,” nat says when javy stops talking. “probably figured that one out by now.”
“uh huh.”
“gonna let me in?” he steps aside to do just that and she shoulders past him, steps into the little living room area of his quarters.
he doesn’t speak, waits for her, but she’s a little busy taking him in. looking at him for what feels like the first time in months.
it’s probably only been five days. so she’s a little dramatic.
“I miss you.” she rips the bandaid off, cops up to it and doesn’t bother even pretending to beat around the bush. “I miss you javy, I miss spending time with you, being with you, I miss you.”
“nat…I miss you, too,” he sighs, “but jake and bradley broke up. he needs me right now.”
“he needs you all the time? I know they’re our friends, our best friends, and we should stick by them but their breakup shouldn’t mean that we suffer. that we don’t get this.”
javy sighs and looks down at the floor. “I know, but,”
“stop saying but, stop making excuses. I like you javy, this wasn’t something convenient because our friends were dating. I like you. I still like you. I like the way you smile, how you make me melt a little when you say my name, my name and not my callsign,” she says, stepping closer to him. “I like you javy, and I don’t think we should have to give this up because bradley and jake want to be stupid and stubborn.”
he looks at her, eyes wide, stunned. like he didn’t know any of that was true.
“nat…” he trails off. “god, just, c’mere.” he reaches for her, grabs her hand and yanks her close, pulls her into his chest and leans down to kiss her.
it’s a good kiss, a messy kiss, an “I missed you” kiss. it’s their kiss, the one that really starts their relationship. and nat wouldn’t have it any other way.
summary: “When you know you’ve found the woman you want to start a life with, don’t waste time telling her how you feel. Get a ring on her finger, tell her you want a life with her, whatever you gotta do to get that future started. Make it clear and start setting those roots together.”or, the advice Javy Machado should have followed before he stood up in church. Better late than never, though?
pairing: javy “coyote” machado/natasha “phoenix” trace, background bradley “rooster” bradshaw/jake “hangman” seresin
warnings: teen & up, alcohol mentions
a/n: well, I finally wrote an interrupted wedding fic! this is unbeta’d, all mistakes are my own
find this fic on ao3
His dad’s advice echoes in his head, the way it always does when Javy’s thoughts turn toward the future.
“When you know you’ve found the woman you want to start a life with, don’t waste time telling her how you feel. Get a ring on her finger, tell her you want a life with her, whatever you gotta do to get that future started. Make it clear and start setting those roots together.”
Those words echo louder and stronger when he thinks about a future with Natasha.
It had happened when they first met and started seeing each other as a natural consequence of Hangman and Rooster being together. And when that relationship fell apart, effectively ending the relationship Javy had with Natasha, he felt a hollow space in his chest. He knew then that Natasha was who he wanted to spend his life with.
But here she is, a subtle but still gorgeous ring on her left hand.
Javy sighs and hangs his head. He knows he should go over to her and fiancée, congratulate them and just rip the bandaid off. Get it over with so he can get back to drowning his sorrows in the strongest beer Penny has on tap and whatever liquor she’s willing to give him. But going over there means putting an end to his dreams and plans, means admitting his father was right and he should have spoken up sooner. Maybe when they were all in North Island two years ago for the special detachment.
If he’d spoken up then, she wouldn’t have had the chance to meet Michael and fall in love with him. She wouldn’t have had the chance to marry someone other than him.
But he’d kept his mouth shut and now, they’re here. So Javy heaves another sigh and downs the rest of his current drink before getting up to congratulate the happy couple.
—
Eight Months Later
Javy stands outside the church, off to the side as he tries to calm his nerves enough to go inside and join his friends.
God, he’s not drunk enough for this.
Actually, he doesn’t think there’s enough liquor in the world he could consume that would make him ready to attend Natasha Trace’s wedding as a guest.
He can’t even believe he made the guest list, thought for sure he’d get left off. But nope, he’s got the invitation in his hands. Because for some reason, he thought it would be a good idea to come to her wedding.
Javy will maintain he was drunk or just not thinking straight when he RSVP’d yes to the wedding. Jake and Bradley - who are now actually together and happy - fix him with twin arched eyebrows whenever the topic comes up.
There must be some twisted place in the back of his mind that thinks if he can’t be at Nat’s wedding as the groom, he should be there as a guest. He should be there for her, watch as this chapter of his life comes to a close.
So he’s here, outside the church, and seriously debating if he’s hit his head too many times.
“Getaway car is ready to go if you need it, Javy,” Jake says, coming up behind him.
“Yeah, whatever you need man, we’re here,” Bradley says from over his other shoulder.
Javy just shakes his head. “No, I said I was gonna be here, and I gotta do this,” he says resolutely. “I need to see her happy and married to close the chapter of my life with her. I just need to know she’s happy and doing the right thing for her.”
Bradley and Jake look at each other and nod behind Javy’s back. No matter what Javy is saying now, if he needs out of there, they’ve got him. They won’t let him do this alone.
Following Javy’s lead, the three head into the church and find seats in a pew towards the back. Javy’s knee bounces, the only outward sign of his nervousness, and he wills it to stop. Wills himself to be calm, reminds himself that this is the right thing to do. That today is about Natasha, about her being happy. And that’s all he wants for her.
He’d prefer it if she was happy with him, but he’ll take what he can get. Natasha’s happy and going to live a good life, that’s what matters. He’ll deal with his own sorry ass later.
The church is filling up, family and friends from the bride and groom sitting in the pews and chatting amongst each other. Until the music starts and everyone falls silent as the doors at the back of the church open up and the bridal party starts their march down the aisle and the groom steps up to the altar.
The music changes and everyone stands, looks towards the back of the church and Javy takes a breath to steel himself to see Natasha in her wedding dress.
She looks gorgeous, almost ethereal and Javy feels his breath catch. She’s gorgeous and she’s everything he’s ever wanted and he can feel the memories he has with her creeping into his brain.
He floats through the wedding, half-paying attention and half in this dreamlike state, his brain inundating himself with memories of Natasha and him at the beach, walking around base together brushing hands, holding hands at the bar just off base. All these snippets of their relationship, the moments he wanted to tell her how he felt, that he imagined a future with her, interspersed with moments of his hand running down her skin, flashes of warmth from how they’d be pressed together, the feeling of her moving under him, above him, around him, those vulnerable moments together where the world fell away and it was just them.
He’s not certain where in the ceremony they are. He’s not certain if he can make it through the whole thing. He’s not even certain he’s fully in control of his body right now.
But then he hears the preacher say those fateful words: “If anyone feels these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Javy snaps back to the present, painfully aware of the silence and the stillness in the church. The peace he’s about to interrupt because he can’t let Natasha do this.
He’d promised her once before that he’d always be honest with her, and in the same breath he told her how much he wanted her. He’s always prided himself on keeping his promises, so he has to do this.
That’s what he tells himself as he stands up.
“I object.”
He can feel Jake tugging on his suit jacket, trying to get him to sit down but the words are out now. Javy can’t take them back.
Every head in the church has whipped around to look at him. The entire bridal party, all the guests, everyone is looking at him like he’s crazy. Callie’s brow is furrowed he can see out of the corner of his eye, but his focus is on Natasha.
Natasha who’s looking at him with wide eyes, her jaw dropped. He can’t tell from back here if she’s mad at him or not, if she’s surprised he’s in the church, if she’s happy to see him. He doesn’t even care at this point. He has to be honest with her, honest with himself, and say this finally. Even if she doesn’t come with him, he has to do this.
“Natasha, Nat,” he starts, shaking Jake and Bradley’s hands from off him as he moves toward the aisle. “I’m sorry I’m late. I’m sorry I’m late to saying this, that I haven’t been honest with you. I told you I’d always tell you the truth, and I’ve been keeping this from you for too long.”
He hears the whispers from the guests, the annoyed and worried words of “why, why now, what’s happening” but he ignores them.
“I need to be honest with you, you deserve that, and if you don’t want this, don’t want what I’m offering, then I’ll go and I’ll stay out of your life,” he says, trying his best to make sure Natasha knows she can do what she needs to do. What she wants to do. He won’t make her do something she doesn’t want.
“I love you, Natasha. I’ve always loved you. And I never should have let things fall apart between us,” he confesses. “You’ve always been it for me, the woman I love and see a future, a life with. One even beyond the Navy. And I know my timing here sucks, but I promised you long ago that I’d be honest with you, so I have to do this. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner, that I kept it to myself. But I’m saying it now. I love you, Natasha. I’m in love with you.”
He’s close enough to the altar now to see the warring emotions in her eyes. The hope as she looks at him, the softness that was familiar to him from all those years before, and the confusion as she looks at Michael. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Callie wiping away a tear, a small smile on her face. It’s the little bit of strength he needs to focus on Natasha again and ask her an important and probably ill-timed question.
“Nat, my timing sucks. You every reason to tell me no. And I respect that. But I have to ask you this, will you come with me? Build a life with me, have a future with me? I love you, and I want it all with you, if you’ll come with me.”
She looks back and forth between him and Michael. Looks out to her parents, out at the whole church.
Then her eyes meet his, and he can see her melt. See her shoulders drop into a more relaxed position as she smiles at him. She gives him a little nod before she turns back to Michael.
“I’m sorry,” she says, and Javy’s heart is pounding in his ears, he can’t believe this. “You know I love you, and you know that I have to do this.” She slips off the engagement ring, hands it back to Michael, giving his hand a squeeze before turning back to all the guests.
“I’m sorry everyone,” she says, voice loud and strong. “I made a promise to someone, long ago, to always tell the truth. And I made a promise to myself to always follow my heart. The reception hall will still have food, you can go and enjoy that. But, uh. The wedding is off.”
She steps down from the altar and crosses the few steps to Javy. He reaches out a hand, heart still pounding and when she takes it, all feels right in the world again. He smiles at her, and she returns it.
They don’t need to say a word, they just make their way out of the church. The guests are in a shocked silence and Javy knows that there’s going to be fallout from this. He knows there will be hell to pay from her family, her brothers who he’d met once are going to wonder why the hell he waited until the last possible second to say something, her parents are going to wonder what the hell Natasha was thinking, and that doesn’t even begin to cover how their friends are going to react.
Which, Jake and Bradley are standing at the edge of the pew he’d been sitting in not even five minutes ago.
“So, you guys still up for driving the getaway car?”
And so the four of them exit the church and climb into Jake’s car, and there’s a part of Javy that gets a flash of deja vu, remembers nights from years ago when he’d gotten into this car with these friends and driven off base, the four of them against the world.
Nat squeezes his hand and he looks over to her.
“You still here with us?” she asks.
“I’m right here with you.”
“Good.”
“So,” Bradley says from the front seat, turning to look at them in the back. “When do you expect your phone’s going to start blowing up?”
“Oh my god, I’m sure it’s already blowing up but it’s back at the church,” she laughs. “All my stuff is there or at the hotel.”
“Do we need to make a detour? Call someone to get it for you?” Jake asks. “We didn’t exactly plan for this, but I’m sure we can get something together quickly, a rendezvous point to get your things.”
“I had a plan. Have a plan, actually,” Natasha says, matter of factly. “Rooster, give me your phone. I just need to text Callie and Bob. They’ll get my stuff and we can meet them.”
“You had a plan?” Javy asks, raising an eyebrow at her.
“I had a little hope that you’d say something. That you still…still love me, still want me,” she admits softly. “Michael knew, he knows that I loved him, that I do love him, but that it’s different than how I love you. He knows I’m still in love with you, that I never stopped being in love with you, and he knew that if you said something, today or earlier, that I would…” she trails off and takes a deep breath, turning to face Javy and meet his eyes. “I told him that if you said something, if you told me you still love me, there wasn’t a choice to make. I would go with you, because it’s always been you at the end of the day, Javy. Even when I couldn’t tell you that’s how I felt, and then I let myself feel uncertain if you felt the same way, it’s always been you. I could have been happy with Michael, I would have been, but I knew and he knew, if there was a chance to be with you, I had to take it.”
Jake’s stopped the car at this point, pulled over to the shoulder and turned in his seat to look at Natasha.
“So you and Michael got engaged and went into this whole thing knowing that if Javy said anything, you’d leave him? You’d go with Javy and leave Michael?” Natasha nods, eyes wary and guarded. “And he was totally okay with this? With putting all this effort into planning a wedding that could fall apart and did, the moment Javy pulled his head out of his ass?”
“Jake, Michael and I talked about it. He was okay with it. And if Javy didn’t speak up when he did, I would have gone through with the marriage, the wedding, and been happy. Michael does make me happy and he’s good to me, but I’m just not in love with him the same way I’m in love with Javy. And believe it or not, Michael has his version of that. So now he can go chase that. It’s really okay,” she explains.
“You’re incredible,” Javy whispers. “You think of everything, you plan for everything, you’re amazing. I love you.”
She smiles at him, full and bright, eyes crinkling at the corner. “I love you, too.” Javy leans in and kisses her, for the first time in years, and another piece of the puzzle of his life slips into place. Natasha leans back and gives him another smile.
“Ok but, I seriously need someone’s phone to get in touch with Bob and Callie. I need my stuff. And to make sure my family’s okay and not on their way to find me and drag me back down the aisle. I planned for everything but them.”
Javy hands her his phone, his contacts already pulled up. “Call them. And hey, you’ve got me. We’ll handle your family. It’ll be okay.”
“Yeah, it’ll be okay. And you’re not in this alone,” Bradley reminds Natasha. “We’ve got your backs, we all do.”
Natasha nods and gives Javy one more kiss before calling Callie. And he just sits back, thinking he’s damn lucky to have fallen in love with Natasha Trace all those years ago and damn lucky she loves him back.
I am in need of machace fall activities. They give me warm beverages and walks in a park vibes. Or like. Fireside cuddles vibes.
javy’s hands rub together so fast natasha think she sees steam emanating from them in the early november air. he’s playing it up for her, she knows, but she still can’t help her laugh. doesn’t hesitate to curl her arm through his elbow, hooking their arms as she presses her side against his.
“it’s almost like someone said you should wear your coat,” she teases, which earns her a playful smile from her boyfriend.
“i have no clue what you’re talking about,” he says mildly, but she doesn’t miss the way he turns into her, presses his lips against her hair. “i was led astray, brought into cold and misery for your entertainment.”
she laughs again, sighs a little as she glances around the park. she doesn’t mind being a tourist, letting red and orange leaves swirl around them. it feels nice, being somewhere new with someone you love. “well, that’s why i paid for our drinks, then. making it up to you.”
“order for natasha!”
together they step up, take the spiced cider and hold it between their hands. javy’s little sigh of relief is audible, and she laughs again, which earns her a little hip check. but she doesn’t miss the way his hands go to shove a few bills in the tip jar, or the way javy thanks them with his blinding grin.
it’s things like that. javy, generous with his time, his things, his being. kind and compassionate and willing to tease. giving all he can to those who need it.
spending time with her, even when she feels she doesn’t deserve it.
so she’ll be a tourist. she’ll see the fall leaves, she’ll kick the piles of them as they walk. she’ll grab him and drag him to apple bobbing and he’ll drag her around right back. they’ll spend their time together, whatever time they have, and at the end of it all, and she’ll savor every moment, remember the times like today. remember how he forgot his coat… maybe because it’d make her giggle, or so he could cling to her just like this.
summary: a long overdue talk
pairing: natasha trace/javy machado
word count: 1,611
warnings: slight allusion to sex
find this fic on ao3
They land on the carrier 14 hours before the mission. They’re given bunks, told when to report to a briefing room for team selection and that the mission briefing will be just prior to pre-flight checks the next morning.
Team selection is quick. Natasha thinks Cyclone is speeding Maverick along, doesn’t want anyone getting too sentimental.
He knows there’s a good chance someone doesn’t make it back. That with the way training had gone, the mission being moved up, everything about this mission… It’s essentially a suicide mission.
But Natasha doesn’t let that bother her, puts that thought in the back of her head as Maverick calls out her and Bob as one of his foxtrot teams. She’s known since the beginning she was going on this mission. Has worked the last two weeks to be right where she is now.
They’re all still standing around, even though they’ve been dismissed and Cyclone and Maverick have left the room. She turns to Bob, gives him a nod, and then shakes hands with Payback and Fanboy. She’d had a feeling they would be the other foxtrot team - no matter who they had flown with in training they had done well. Kept up with the single seater and worked well as a team.
She sees Bradley looking around, a bit of a shellshocked look on his face. She catches his eye, nods at him, tries to convey how much she believes in him through his eyes. He gives her a small smile, a quirk of his lips saying ‘thanks’ and she looks away. Her eyes slip over the rest of the group, landing on Javy.
She lets her gaze linger on him, leans into the part of her brain that hasn’t been able to shake the look on his face from the hospital. That has been occupied by him since they all showed up on North Island. The part of her brain that’s been inundated with memories from years past, the kisses they shared, the moments together. They’ve been ever-present the last two weeks. He’s been ever-present.
She can’t shake the thoughts of him, hasn’t been able to get him out of her mind.
And now, she’s still looking at him and his gaze meets hers. Eyes locking as his jaw clenches. She knows him well enough to know its not out of frustration. He’d long accepted that he’d be a spare on the mission. No, he’s worried. His eyes are full of it as he scans her, takes her in.
Like he’s doing it for the last time.
She jerks her head towards the door, arches an eyebrow at him. He nods, and they look away from each other.
“I’ll see you later, Bob,” she says, patting his arm and walking away before he can ask any questions.
This is her last shot at this. Tomorrow, she flies a mission she might not come back from. Tomorrow, it may already be too late. Tomorrow, this could be another missed opportunity between them.
She has to do this today.
Javy’s waiting in the corridor for her, pressed into an alcove to avoid anyone walking past. She stands across from him, deliberately lets her eyes wander up and down his form before meeting his eyes. “I think we’re long overdue for a talk.”
Both of his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “A talk?” She nods. “Alright. My room then. Jake’ll be out for a while.”
“Lead the way.”
Natasha trails behind him, following him through the corridors until they reach the bunks. Her mind is racing, thoughts of Javy, of all the times something had almost happened between them, the times to they toed the line only to never fully cross it, flooding her brain.
They stop at his door, Nat still right behind him, taking a chance to press up against his back.
“I thought we were talking.”
“We are.”
“Seems like you’re angling for something else, standing that close.”
Natasha smiles as she backs off a little, puts some space between them. Javy manages to get the door to his bunk open and lets her in first, following and locking the door behind them.
There’s not much space inside the room, but Natasha leans against the desk and lets Javy have the space by the bunk. They’re both silent, a little unsure how to proceed when every other time they’ve been in this situation, something stopped them from being in this position. But Natasha knows, they have to do this now. She has to do this before she flies tomorrow.
She takes a breath, rubs her hands together. “We need to -”
“Look, before you make this some self-sacrificing thing again, can I say something?”
Natasha’s jaw drops. She raises an eyebrow at Javy, “Again?”
He shrugs, hands in his pockets. “Was your idea for us to have one last night and then a little space after Jake and Rooster broke up. Something about getting it out of our systems before going our separate ways?”
She tips her head in concession. “Fine, what is it you wanted to get off your chest?”
Javy stands up from the bunk, straightens his spine, and meets Natasha’s eyes. “I like you, Natasha. I think I’ve made that pretty clear over the years, but I’m saying it now. And I just… You’re going on the mission tomorrow. You deserve to be on the mission. And I need you to know, before you go, that I like you, as more than a friend. I want you. I want this,” he gestures between them, “and I’m not going to pretend otherwise anymore. We missed out on this once before and I almost lost you a few days ago. I’m done waiting Nat, I want this. I want you. I want us.”
Her jaw drops open again as she starres at Javy, eyes wide. She can’t find her voice, he’s stolen her ability to speak, to think properly, with his confession. A confession she’s had a hunch about, but waited years to hear.
Javy sighs, his eyes falling to the ground as he takes in her silence. “I know you have to focus on the mission, that you probably don’t feel the same -”
“No!”
His eyes snap up to hers, brow furrowed.
Natasha pushes herself off the desk, closes the distance between them and puts her hands on Javy’s arms. “Javy, I wanted to talk with you because I feel the same way. I’m tired of skirting around this thing, pretending there’s nothing between us when we both know the opposite is true. I want this, too. I want us. And I don’t want to fly tomorrow without telling you.”
It’s Javy’s turn to look shocked, to be rendered speechless. Natasha rubs her hands over his biceps, giving him a second. He looks at her, meets her eyes, and then all of a sudden his lips are on hers.
Kissing Javy is just like she remembers, but better than the memories. His lips move over hers, tongue running along the seam of her lips and she opens them for him, lets him deepen the kiss as her hands move to his shoulders, steadying herself as she lifts onto her toes to press herself closer to him.
Kissing Javy feels right, feels familiar, feels like something is sliding back into place.
He breaks the kiss a moment later, presses his forehead against hers. “You mean it? You want this?”
She nods, goes a little cross-eyed as she meets his gaze again. “I want this. Like you said, I’m tired of skirting around it.”
He kisses her again and she wraps her arms around his neck, pressing even closer against him. She deepens this kiss this time, runs her tongue along his lips and presses her hips to his, feels him growing harder the longer they kiss.
“Mhmm, Nat,” he says, pulling back after another minute, “We’re on a ship. We have roommates, we can’t - we can’t do this now. Jake’ll be back soon.”
“Fuck Bagman, he can bunk with Halo or whoever, Javy, I want you.”
He lets out a chuckle, she feels his smile against her cheek. “You’ve got me, Nat. No worries there.” He presses a kiss to her cheek and pulls back slightly. “But we’ve waited so long for this, we can wait another day or two. I’m not sleeping with you for the first time in years on a ship the night before you fly the most intense mission of you career. You need to rest.”
She sighs, drops her head against his chest. “Ok, ok.”
“Get some rest, Nat. Then when you come back from the impossible, we’ll talk more.”
She rests. She flies the mission. They almost lose Rooster and Maverick, but somehow everyone comes back alive. Javy’s there on the flight deck, sweeps her up in a hug once they’re all back and celebrating, and she doesn’t think she’s ever smiled this wide.
There’s still too much activity on board for anything besides a few stolen kisses, even with their limited duties. She still has to go through debriefs and medical evaluations and do it all again when they’re brought back to shore.
But then, they’re cleared and given leave. And she gets to spend the whole night at The Hard Deck tucked into Javy’s side, leaning against him as they all let loose and catch up in a way they hadn’t been able to since arriving back at North Island.
She gets to leave with him, hand in hand as they head back to their assigned housing, no roommates to worry about, and the promise of more nights like this in their future.
