#madeline foster

[wetlikefruit]

Shitty four walls ദ്ദി◝ ⩊ ◜)

[her-culture]

My Journey Through Feminism - From the 80's 'Till Now

Feminism, as we know it today, took place in three very distinct "waves”, each with it's own distinct purpose. The first wave began earlier in the last century when women fought to gain independence through the right to vote. Many women lost their lives fighting for the cause. It was known as the Suffragette Movement.

I remember my mother telling me a story about her aunt Maggie who was dragged from her home and beaten by her neighbours. My great-grandfather had to pay a fine to the local union and apologize to his co-workers for his daughter’s behavior. Mom told me he didn’t scold Maggie. Instead, he told her not to give up the fight, but just to take it somewhere else. We knew we were lucky to have him in our lives.

 The Age of Aquarius - Equality for All

In the "boomer" years, the Suffragette’s plight took off, but it had evolved into an all-out war for women’s equality. Women wanted to play a different role in society. They no longer wanted to be just housewives or stay-at-home-mothers; they wanted to have careers of their own. Why shouldn’t they? They prefered a more carefree lifestyle. Feminism was growing silently as a movement for more than the right to vote.

Things certainly were not perfect, but it was the start of the revolution.

By the time I had reached my junior year in high school, diehard feminism had all but fizzled out. They had won the war. Women no longer felt the need to burn bras in the streets to protest inequality. They had careers and they were happy with the outcome.

But, that is not how I remember it.

It was 1978, the first day of junior year.  I received my class time schedule and I thought that I needed new glasses because I could not believe what I was reading. But there it was in big, black type letters:

Period Two - Mrs. Davis, Room 111 - Knitting, Sewing and Cooking.  

Huh?  Disbelief turned to rage when my cousin came running down the hall and patted me on the back. "Hey, cuz. Isn't it great we get auto-mechanics during period two?" He knew better to turn around and walk away when he saw my face turn red. I told him, "No, the girls get to cook and clean." I chuckled as he ran down the corridor to get away from me.  

That was the first time in my life that I ever felt discriminated against.

Before then, I just lived a normal teenage life thinking that I had my life ahead of me. That one moment changed everything.

I could not talk to any of my friends about it. Most of them were oblivious to the fact that were being discriminated against. They were happy just to get a "free" credit. I did not even bother to point out how unfair it was that the men got to learn a trade while we got to learn how to play house. Doing so would have surely gotten me the label "lesbian", a derogatory term used to describe any female who was strong-willed, outspoken, or confident.  

 Gloria Steinem was my hero.

I read so many books on feminism, it had my head spinning. It was not until college that I ever felt proud of that fact. College was the one place where I could marvel at the insight of so many brilliant, educated, and outspoken women. I became a staunch feminist and I balked at anyone who wasn't. To be honest, I was a bit smug about it.

 On Being a Mother

My views on feminism changed a great deal in the early 90's when I got married and had my first child. I wanted to stay home to be with him. And, as soon as I wrote that, it brought back the feelings of guilt that I had back then. Being a feminist made me feel guilty for wanting-no, needing to be a stay-at-home parent. Funny how things had evolved. My mother felt guilty for wanting a career and I felt guilty because I didn’t.

 Feminism had gone too far.  

Women achieved equality at the expense of freedom of choice. What exactly does being a woman mean?  What is wrong with wanting to stay home and take care of a family?  We were starting to lose sight of who we were as people, because we kept defining ourselves as ‘women’, ‘wife’, ‘mother’, and ‘career-woman’.

Choosing to stay at home as a feminist was admitting defeat. But, it wasn't defeat. I was making my own choices about what it meant to be a woman. At some point I came to terms with it all. And, that is good enough for me.

Today, my feminist views have changed to reflect a more non-gender philosophy.  Equality for all, rather than just for women. Perhaps that is what it always was.  

Women of my time were the voice for change. Their voices are just starting to be heard.

I am comfortable leaving feminism behind to a new generation of individuals who understand this concept. Millennials are the final wave and, if the trends toward peace and equality continue to move forward, they will achieve what our ancestors failed to.

I just hope that the new President does not set us all back to the days when burning bras was the nightly call to order.  I do not have any left; I burnt them all one day in the backyard with my sisters. Just for the record, all of us have been married for over 25 years. That has to mean something. Feminism isn’t all that bad.

[wetlikefruit]

Madeline Foster ✶

origin — grew up in a house where everyone had feelings, but no one ever talked about them

current status — senior psychology major, surviving on cold brew, annotated textbooks, and the promise that graduation is almost here

traits — ✧ observant ✧ ambitious ✧ empathetic ✧ perfectionist ✧ quietly stubborn

likes — rainy library afternoons, people-watching on campus, old psychology books, vanilla coffee, oversized sweaters, and conversations that accidentally last until 2 a.m.

dislikes — forced small talk, group projects, being told she “overthinks everything,” unreliable people, and professors who assign readings over one hundred pages

first impression — composed, intelligent, slightly intimidating, and probably analyzing everything you say

actual reality — deeply sensitive, cries over sentimental commercials, remembers tiny details about everyone she loves, and gives advice she rarely follows herself

background — Madeline became interested in psychology long before she knew what the word meant. Growing up, she learned to recognize tension through silence, apologies through acts of service, and sadness hidden beneath ordinary conversations. Understanding people became her way of feeling safe.

Now in her senior year, she has spent nearly four years studying why people behave the way they do—but she is beginning to realize that knowing the reason behind someone’s pain does not mean she has to carry it for them.

fun fact — she keeps a notebook filled with observations about strangers on campus, owns enough highlighters to supply an entire lecture hall, and can explain everyone else’s attachment style while refusing to discuss her own.

she understands people. she’s still learning how to understand herself.

[seosam2011]

Choosing the wrong content provider can be a Buzz Killer!

Get the skinny on why I didn't take an SEO job

Let’s Get to The Facts, Shall We? As a freelance consultant and “hands-on” search engine optimization (SEO) content marketer, one of the biggest obstacles I face is challenging business owners and enterprise project managers to re-think how they currently manage content. There is a multitude of reasons for the reluctance. Great SEO takes time and quality content can be expensive. Experts charge…

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[dinosaursims]

Later that afternoon, Liam managed to pull Madeline away from the festivities. He was surprised, but pleased, that Bryce hadn't accompanied her today. They sat outside the park's restroom where a few benches were arranged. They sat quietly for a few minutes with only Madeline's humming to the songs playing through the speakers breaking the silence.

"I want to apologize for yesterday, Maddie," said Liam, finally speaking up.

Madeline laughed softly, "I haven't been called that since I was a kid...and apology accepted."

"Did you really have to tell my sister, though?"

Madeline winced, "Yeah, remember I told you I was horrid at keeping secrets?"

"You mentioned that..."

"It's not that big of a deal," said Madeline with a smile. "Everyone has their goof moments."

"Yeah, like you nearly falling into the apple trough," laughed Liam.

Madeline giggled, "I am a total klutz! Bryce is always telling me how I'll break a leg or something."

Liam cleared his throat, "So, where's Bryce anyway?"

Madeline scowled, crossing her arms, "He's at work. There's some big scoop he had to help with."

"I guess he has an advantage having an in with the it crowd," said Liam.

Madeline furrowed her brows, "He said he'd be here later, but we'll see. But, at least you and Lita showed up--I thought I'd have to keep my self entertained until he got here."

"Well, glad we could help," said Liam, with a smile. "I thought this festival was going to be a total drag."

Madeline laughed, "It's a little corny, but it's alright if you go with friends I suppose. The three of us should rock the camera booth before you have to leave!"

The three of us, she said. Liam definitely caught that, though, he figured if he were dating somebody he wouldn't be the first to suggest a duo photo-op, even if they were just friends. At that moment, his gaze fell upon Lita and Zack chatting it up, Liam clenched a fist, knowing exactly what she was up to. He could hear her now: "Oh, Liam, I was just being friendly! And I told him all about how you think he's just dreaaaamy...". 

Liam broke his focus, looking back over to Madeline, "So, since I'm new and all, is there anybody I should watch for at school?"

Madeline sat, tapping her bottom lip with her index finger, "Hmm, not really. It's a small school, so you figure the worst about it is that news travels pretty fast."

"Yeah, no influence from you, I'm sure," said Liam, hoping she caught his sarcasm.

"Oh, be quite," said Madeline, shaking her head. "Let's see, well you know Bryce and Audrey---Audrey totally has the hots for the Trey kid, you're friends with him right?"

"Yeah, since elementary school," mused Liam. 

"There's the typical geek squad..." trailed Madeline, "Oh, Zack, that guy Lita's talking to, is seriously into anything music related. He and Lita are like...geniuses--but I guess you knew that."

Liam's interest was piqued, he remembered that among a few other classes, Zack was also in his music class. 

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, well Lita's been playing music since she was a toddler," said Liam, drawing himself out of his head again.

"Lita and I totally think he's flaming," said Madeline bluntly.

Liam choked, "I'm sorry, what?"

"You know," said Madeline, stressing her words.

Liam took a drink from his water bottle, "Uh, yeah--yeah, I get it."

"Anyway, to each his own, right?" said Madeline with a smile.

Liam had no response. The conversation just veered into awkward territory. From Madeline's tone, he wasn't sure where she was coming from. She surely didn't seem to be a judgmental type of person, but what did he know. 

"You okay, Liam? You're pretty quiet..."

Liam furrowed his brows, still in contemplation, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"I'm not saying anything bad, I promise!" sputtered Madeline. "Sometimes what I say comes out wrong...all I meant was that if that's what he chooses, then good for him. You know, like your grandparents? Whenever they show up in the tabloids, they always look really happy, so..."

Liam looked over at her, somewhat amused at her rambling, "Uh huh..."

"Oh Jesus...this is all sounding really negative isn't it?"

Liam laughed, trying to ease the tension, "Not...a lot."

Madeline took a breath before continuing, "Well, what I'm trying to say is that I'm down with the gays, okay?"

Liam laughed, "Okay, okay, I understand. You're very open minded."

"Yes!" said Madeline, throwing her hands out. "However...do you mind if I ask you something?"

"...Depends..."

"Again, please remember that I'm not the best at phrasing--but, is growing up with two grandfathers...weird or anything?"

Liam felt a pit growing in his stomach; he rationalized that she wasn't trying to sound condescending, but he couldn't help but wonder if everything she said was as honest as she made it out to be.

"Uhm...I'm not exactly sure what you mean, Maddie," began Liam. "Maybe we should just...drop this subject."

Madeline winced, "I'm sorry, let's pretend I never said anything okay?"

"...Just, try and think about what you say...you know, before you say it. I'm..." Liam paused, trying to decide how to compose his thoughts. "I'm a little more sensitive, because of how I grew up, I mean and...just because people say "good for them", they don't always mean that."

Madeline nodded, "I get that, my bad--honestly. I've just never really...known anyone like that and I'm curious. Bryce isn't fond of talking about stuff like that, so..."

Liam was starting to get frustrated and let out a sarcastic scoff, "It's not like we're fucking aliens from Mars or some shit..." 

Liam could not stop the words faster than they fell out of his mouth. He fell back against the bench, silently cursing himself. He always let his emotions get the best of him, but this time...this time he just couldn't control himself. Madeline quickly shut her mouth before she began to talk, lowering her hands to her knees. ("You...fucking...retard," repeated Liam to himself.) Surely, death by sheer willpower was possible.

"I..." muttered Madeline, "I...I didn't know..."

Liam scrambled to rectify the situation, "I mean, the people who know people like..that or whatever. It's not weird. I mean...they're just people, you know."

Liam cracked a nervous smile, trying to judge Madeline's reaction. Thankfully, Madeline's expression softened. Perhaps he'd dodged a bullet this time.

"Yeah, totally." said Madeline. "TV dramatizes so much, it's hard to know what's real, right?"

"Exactly," agreed Liam, quickly, before Madeline could realize what just happened. "Uhm, how about we go get Lita and take those pictures you talked about?"

Madeline grinned, "For sure! You promise you aren't like...upset at me or anything?"

Liam smiled, "No, but I am wondering if you're actually blonde, you know."

Madeline started laughing, "Yeah, I'm a total space cadet."

"So, like, what's it's like to be a space cadet," asked Liam, lightening the mood.

Madeline giggled, "Okay, Okay! I get it! I can tell you're Lita's brother now, she's just as sarcastic."

"Well, sometimes, I don't know what I'm saying."

"Come on," said Madeline, playfully rolling her eyes. "Let's go get Lita, ass."

Liam laughed as Madeline pulled him to his feet. They both walked down the stairs, in Lita's direction. ("Hey, that's what Lita calls me too!") Liam wrapped his arm around Madeline's shoulders; friends did that sort of thing didn't they, he thought. Madeline stuck her tongue out, pulling his beanie over his eyes before pulling herself loose,and running towards the photo booth. ("I bet I can get there before you!" she called.) Liam repositioned his hat before running after her, towards Lita. While it had it's share of awkwardness, Liam was glad he went to the festival. Despite nearly blowing his cover to someone he barely knew, he was glad Madeline seemed to want to be friends. He decided to let the cards fall where they may...apparently Madeline may not be the only metaphorical fish in his pond.

[seosam2011]

Lucky a suitable name for the perfect dog!

Lucky a suitable name for the perfect dog!

When I first agreed to allow my son’s girlfriend to adopt a dog for him for Christmas thirteen years ago, I was under the impression that she understood I was expecting a small breed of dog. We lived in a small apartment in the city and this was certainly no place for a huge dog.

Lucky, came barrelling down the hallway that Christmas morning and jumped right on my lap as I was sitting by the…

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[allisonargentful]

just finished my reply to amy for mevi (madeline + levi) and the playlist is still going and i'm just sitting here. drowning in character feels.