I’m 23 now, and I have not been in many serious relationships. There were many ‘dating’ and ‘talking’ relationships, but the serious ones, not many.
In all of the relationships that I have been in, I have never once been asked what I am afraid of.
Well, to be fair, I never actually throw the question out there to people. Deep questions scare people. People don’t just reveal their vulnerability to others.
If I were to be asked by anyone what my fear was, first that would always come to mind is the fear of heights. Or probably it’s just the fear of falling that scares me. The fear of not being able to control what my body is forced to go through. But maybe then it’s also a fear of not being in control.
Snakes and maggots are my WORST nightmares too. And earthworms oh my God. Also, anything solid that has holes. Like the lotus flower.
I can feel my brain just trying to divert all my attention away from all my fears right now. By thinking of Savya. Of all things.
Deep down though, I know these aren’t my worst fears.
Perhaps one day, when if I ever meet someone, who matters enough, who would ask me this question, before I asked that person, probably one day someone would know the answer to this.
But for now, as long as I don’t encounter the fear trigger, I can avoid confronting the fear. Cos, that’s what I do best anyways - running away from problems.