#malcolm kane

[spoks-illogical-art]

rewatching saatff after 7 years lol

[neopuff]

kane/rook // my kink is karma

[venomade]

broke me first. [Rook/Kane]

[ssugarkane]

Here’s a well-dressed Kane honor of s2!! I wonder where he’s off to?

[sayalaine]

Kane your emotional constipation is showing

[ghostwriter00797]

Slightly crack-y headcanons- The Flex Fighters Learn How to Drive. Also, Kane questions his life choices.

So. I forgot how old the boys canonically are, but this popped into my head while I was in the shower. It's not great, but I might write something about it. It is set pre-episode 13, and before the boys get their vehicles. Enjoy! 💖💖💖

So, Kane and the delta team are chasing down a criminal and the guy steals a car. Kane just starts barking orders and is basically like, "you three, grab a vehicle and cut him off at (insert place here)". He receives three blank stares in response. Stretch and Wingspan don't know how to drive, and Omni-Mass flat out says he's not legally allowed to drive. Kane is frustrated.

Omni-Mass ends up at the wheel of a car with the other two in the backseat. They get the criminal, but the car ends up a smoking wreck. This makes sense later on.

Going back to Rook tower, Kane is informed by Jonathan that the three need to learn how to drive because of a project he has in the works. And he's going to be teaching them. He is not amused.

The first lesson is an adventure. Kane doesn't want to do this, and neither do the boys. Kane makes sure to tell them to do what they're comfortable doing and that he'll just be observing and correcting them as they go. Their lessons will only last about an hour, for all of their sanity's sake. He learns the hard way that an hour is too much.

Wingspan is up first. He doesn't want to get into the car. It takes a good ten minutes to convince him that Kane isn't just going to throw him out on a highway and expect him to know everything. They get about as far as starting the car before Wingspan gets nervous again. He knows all the controls on a car, learned from his parents, but he'd never driven before. They're in an empty parking garage, so there's plenty of room, but when Kane finally gets him to put it into drive... Well. Wingspan won't even put his foot near the gas pedal. He drives at idle, about ten mph, and uses the brake almost constantly. It takes half an hour to get up and down a floor. Kane doesn't show it, but already his nerves are ground to dust. Still, it's not the worst case scenario. That comes next.

He's more apprehensive when Omni-Mass volunteers to go next. He foolishly assumed that the incident with the criminal was a one-time thing. He was very wrong. Stretch and Wingspan pale and put a healthy distance between them and the car. By clinging to the ceiling. That was the first sign that something was wrong. Omni-Mass seems to know his way around the car and is ready to go. He states that he knows how to drive, and would Kane mind if they went out into the city? Kane agrees, his second mistake. Everything seems normal until they pull out onto the highway. Then it becomes clear that Omni-Mass can turn vehicles into weapons of mass destruction. Speed limits are taken as suggestions, lights are run, close calls are had, and at one point the boy decides it is appropriate to take both hands off the wheel and turn completely around to gesture at an aggressive tailgater. The 'oh shit' handle is used liberally. At the end of the hour when they pull the car back into the parking garage, it takes a good five minutes to get his fingers loose.

"Who taught you how to drive?" "Oh, I taught myself when I was like, nine. My parents weren't home, I was bored, and I saw some cool action movies. I'm banned from driving in three states for some reason." **Noodle incidents happened in which law enforcement of those three states decided it was better to ban him from driving than to let him out on the road. Also, he was 10, 12, and 14 respectively during all three incidents.

After a break to calm his frayed nerves and lecture Omni-Mass on everything that he should never ever do again, it's Stretch's turn. Stretch hasn't been in a car for years. His dad takes public transportation like him and he never saw any reason to have a car. Their hour is the least stressful, mostly talking about the different controls and how to use them.

After the Flex Fighters head out for the day, Kane goes to see Jonathan. Kane very calmly informs him that he will be teaching the next lesson. And the lessons after that. Rook foolishly agrees to at least one, thinking it would be a great way to build some trust with the boys. After all, how hard could it be?

[venomade]

whoever designed Malcolm’s Tech Men suit... your mom’s a ho!

[venomade]

“And you have a better suggestion?”