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So apparently the Jesse McCree our beloved cowboy is named after is tied into the controversy... BREAKING NEWS! JESSE MCCREE IS NOW NAMED AFTER THIS GOOD BOY JESSE THE DOG A STRAY FROM MEXICO! HE'S A GOOD BOY AND IS NOW THE NAMESAKE FOR THE COWBOY!
Look at this. This dog is now the one you think of about where McCree's name came from, not that asshole human. My doggo will be your new McCree namesake.
Merry Cree-smas Everyone
Based on @dilfosaur‘s awesome mama
my favorite thing ever is when little babs get dragged along on errands and end up falling asleep in their mama’s arms on the ride home -- Suz and Jesse lived out in the middle of nowhere when he was growing up, so when they had to go into town it was a day long excursion, big exciting times for lil baby Jesse <3
Mama's home AU: a new member!
(Disclaimer! Shimada magic allows men to get pregnant if the heir is gay, so alakazam! Hanzo is able to have a baby because dragon magic. If mpreg makes you uneasy then you can skip this part of the Mama's home series)
----
*Marie-Anne is sitting in the kitchen drinking her morning coffee, she notices Hanzo and Jesse come in smiling* What's got you two so happy?
Jesse: Ma, Han and I have been doin' a lotta thinking and...
Hanzo: We're going to have a child.
Marie-Anne: REALLY!? Oh my gosh that's wonderful! I'm gonna be a grandma! *hugs them tightly* Have you decided on a surrogate?
Jesse: Well here's the thing ma... Hanzo's family is kinda magic.
Hanzo: *Shows the dragons* My family are the protectors of these spirits and they can adapt to survive and continue our family, since I am not married to a woman, the dragons have used their power to mutate my body to be fit for bearing a child.
Marie-Anne: Wait... Jesse's gonna get you pregnant?
Hanzo: Yes.
Marie-Anne: *snickers* Well you just proved the bible wrong, the goal of marriage is kids and you just told God "Fuck you we're magic".
Jesse: *chuckles* Ma you're the best.
-
*A few weeks later, Marie-Anne hears a squeal and Hanzo and Jesse run downstairs*
Marie-Anne: Did it work?
Hanzo: *shows a positive pregnancy test* yes! I'm pregnant!
Marie-Anne: Congratulations! *hugs them both*
---
*A few months later, Hanzo is sitting in the living room with Marie-Anne, his stomach has gotten bigger, he's currently looking through nursery design ideas on his tablet when he groans* Bathroom again...
Marie-Anne: *knitting baby clothes* I never thought I'd hear a man complain about pregnancy but here we are. *watches Hanzo get up to use the bathroom, she snorts and returns to her knitting*
Hanzo: *comes back a little while later* I have never had more respect for women in my entire life, I can't believe most choose to do this to themselves!
Marie-Anne: It's the reward at the end that makes it all worth it, have you decided on a design for the nursery yet?
Hanzo: *sits back down on the couch* I really like the Victorian style nursery, vintage and traditional really speaks to me, also I love the royal feel of it, if we're having a girl she'll feel like a princess!
Marie-Anne: *chuckles* I think it's perfect, and you're sure you want the gender to stay a surprise?
Hanzo: Yes, Jesse and I decided it will be nice to just be patient and see what happens.
Marie-Anne: *smiling* well good thing I've been making both blue and pink baby clothes and blankets.
-----
*a few more months later, Marie-Anne is sitting in the living room with Genji, Fareeha, Ana, Jack and Gabriel, Jesse is upstairs in the bedroom with Angela and Zenyatta helping Hanzo give birth*
Fareeha: How do you think it's going?
*muffled screaming comes from the bedroom*
Gabe: Painful is my guess...
Hanzo: *muffled* WHY DID I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THIS!? I SWEAR TO GOD JESSE MCCREE I AM GOING TO NEUTER YOU!
Ana: Sounds like Hanzo has started pushing.
Marie-Anne: *sips her tea* Amen.
Jack: Only the moms would know.
Marie-Anne: Trust me, when I was giving birth to Jesse, I was glad my husband was at a bar instead of the hospital because I was cursing his name like there was no tomorrow.
Genji: Well Jesse is definitely facing the music...
----
*hours later, Angela comes out of the room* Well that was a very interesting delivery.
Gabe: What about the baby?
Angela: Well I can proudly say this; *turns to Marie-Anne* Congratulations Mrs. McCree, you are the grandmother to a boy... and a girl.
Genji: It was twins!?
Angela: Yes I was surprised myself, the second one had managed to hide from my ultrasound technology very well.
Marie-Anne: How is Hanzo?
Angela: Well he fainted after both babies were born but other than that he's fine, he's resting right now and Zenyatta is cleaning and weighing the babies, Jesse is also unconscious as he fainted when he realized he was the father of twins.
Gabe: *chuckles* I would too.
Angela: I'll let you all know when it's okay to come up. *she heads back upstairs*
*A few minutes later, Jesse comes downstairs a little dazed*
Gabe: Mijo! Congrats on the twins!
Jesse: Thanks papa, I can't believe I'm a dad now... It almost feels like a dream...
Marie-Anne: *walks over and hugs her son* well it ain't, I know you're gonna be an amazing father to those babies.
Jesse: *hugs her back* Thanks ma...
---
*sometime later, Hanzo is awake and everyone is meeting the babies*
Genji: So what have you decided to name them?
Jesse: *holding his son* Well, Han and I decided on Roy for this little guy.
Jack: And the girl?
Hanzo: *feeding his daughter* Yuki.
Genji: Snow? Why that?
Hanzo: Because when she appeared it felt like I frozen by a Yuki-Onna, the only difference is this one didn't kill me.
Marie-Anne: What's a Yuki-Onna?
Genji: A dangerous Japanese spirit, it takes the form of a woman in the snow and freezes men to death. Yuki-Onna means "Snow Woman" in English.
Gabe: The name definitely fits your daughter, You didn't think she was real but she is and you're frozen in shock.
Hanzo: *chuckles*
Fareeha: But real quick, we agree that we all saw it coming with Jesse giving his son a cowboy name right?
Angela: It was inevitable.
Gabe: The kid was doomed from the start.
Jack: No doubt about it.
Jesse: Hey!
Mama's home AU: bake sale!
*Marie-Anne just got home from church, Hanzo and Jesse are watching tv on the couch*
Jesse: Hey ma, how was service?
Marie-Anne: terrible... new young women joined the church last month and they're the most pretentious and rude people I've ever met. It's like that movie group Mean Girls has turned religious.
Hanzo: Ignore them Marie, they're not worth your time.
Marie-Anne: Oh believe me Hanzo I tried, but they're so self absorbed and have already antagonized everyone. Linda and I were talking about next weeks charity bake sale and the bitch clique overheard, they said I shouldn't even try, my taste in clothes is so cheap, why should my baking be any different?
Jesse: Ma. You. Me. Kitchen. Now. *gets up from his seat and walks into the kitchen where he pulls out Marie-Anne's old cookbook*
Marie-Anne: you still have my book!?
Jesse: your treats got me through a lotta bad days ma.
Marie-Anne: Let's get baking!
---
*At the bake sale, Marie-Anne arrives with Jesse and Hanzo, helping her carry in plates, the bitch clique have clearly just ordered treats from high end bakeries, she sighs and puts down a nice lace tablecloth and has the boys set the plates down on her table, she removes the tinfoil revealing beautiful mini pies, fruit tarts, macarons made to look like puppies, two tier cheesecakes, several fruit jellos that look like they're from the 60's, cream puffs, cupcakes, and an angel food cake carved into an angel*
Jesse: looks great ma.
Marie-Anne: Only because you two helped out. *hugs them and arranges the treats, adding small flowers to the table to make it more inviting, she glances at the women and sees all of them are looking at her with envy, Linda is laughing as she hands out homemade donuts*
-
*hours later, Marie-Anne has gone through all her treats and backup sheet cakes, Hanzo and Jesse are enjoying some that they bought behind the table, the bitch clique has half of their stock left over*
Jesse: homemade wins over corporate. *licks some icing off his thumb*
Hanzo: You have crumbs in your beard Jesse.
Jesse: yer one t' talk darlin'. *gestures to Hanzo's mouth and beard covered in crumbs and icing*
Hanzo: I regret nothing.
Marie-Anne: *giggles* you two are adorable. *hands them both napkins*
---
*A week later on Sunday, Marie-Anne walks into church and gets a round of applause when she enters the building* What's all this?
Linda: You're a hero Marie! The bitch clique was utterly humiliated at the bake sale and nobody wanted their tasteless overpriced goods, they've left the church!
Marie-Anne: *laughs* Oh my goodness!
Patricia: by the way Marie, you HAVE to show us your recipes!
Okay @mulberrybambi , you say McCree's mom is dead but I'll do you one better
*29 years ago, the police just found 8 year old Jesse next to his mother in their house, they call a coroner and send Jesse away to an orphanage*
Officer 1: poor kid... who knows how long he's been sitting next to his mom's corpse...
Officer 2: *inspecting the body* yeah-... hold the phone... *listens for a heartbeat* she's alive! Call for an ambulance!
-
*at the hospital*
Doctor: she's in a coma, we're going to put her in cryostasis and hope she'll heal, did she have any family?
Officer 1: just an 8 year old son, he's been sent to an orphanage.
Doctor: keep a record on where he is, if his mother wakes up, she may be able to take him back.
-
*29 years later, the cryostasis pod is opened*
New doctor: this patient has been here 29 years... her charts say she's getting better but... how can we be sure?
Nurse: well that's what this yearly check in is for.
Marie-Anne: *opens her eyes* w-where am I?...
Doctor: holy shit... Ma'am you're in the hospital, you were in a coma.
Marie-Anne: W-where's my son?...
Nurse: you've been in a coma for 29 years Mrs... *checks the chart* McCree.
Marie-Anne: *sits up in shock* 29 YEARS!? I have to find my son!
Doctor: Mrs. McCree take it easy, we'll do everything we can to help you find your son but you have to calm down.
Marie-Anne: I left my son with my terrible abusive husband! Get me out of this hospital NOW!
-
*2 months of physical therapy later, Marie-Anne leaves the hospital and takes a taxi to her old home address, she arrives and steps out of the cab and sees the house is much larger than before, the barn is bigger and everything looks well kept* what in the world?...
*the side door of the house opens and a man with a sleeve tattoo on his left arm walks out with his long black hair tied back by a silk ribbon, he's holding a bag of chicken feed*
Marie-Anne: *walks up the pathway to the gate* excuse me? Are you the owner of this property?
*the man turns and looks at her* No madam, this land belongs to my boyfriend, why do you ask?
Marie-Anne: Oh... I used to live on this property, I'm trying to find my son but it seems I've reached a dead end...
*the man frowns in sympathy* I'm very sorry, what is your son's name? He might be in the area, my boyfriend and I are in a position of authority so we may be able to find him.
Marie-Anne: His name is Jesse McCree.
*the man goes silent and his eyes widen* um... could you wait here please? *he runs inside, a few minutes later, the man comes out with another man wearing a familiar looking serape, the man looks at Marie-Anne and is frozen in place*
Jesse: M-mama?...
Marie-Anne: Jesse?... Is that really you?... *tears up*
Jesse: *runs over, tripping a couple times in the process before falling to his knees and hugging his mother around her waist and bursting into tears* MAMA!
Marie-Anne: *kneels down and hugs her son tightly, kissing his head* I'm here sweetheart, I'm here.
-
*inside, Marie-Anne is sitting on the couch drinking the tea Hanzo made her, Jesse is sitting across from her with Hanzo sitting next to him*
Jesse: so you were in a coma this whole time?! How come nobody told me!?
Marie-Anne: I don't know why dear, I'm so sorry you had to suffer for so long... Where's your father?...
Jesse: six feet under... After he shot you he came after me, he dropped the gun and I emptied it on him... I sat next to your body till cops came to see why bills weren't paid...
Marie-Anne: oh sweetheart... *she gets up and hugs him tightly*
Jesse: *leans into her* it was hell without you ma... people beat me... tried to use me... *tearing up* I joined a fucking gang...
Marie-Anne: *wipes his eyes* I'm sorry I couldn't be there to protect you Jesse, I wish I could've gotten us out of there...
Jesse: I'm just glad you're here now... I missed you so much...
Marie-Anne: I missed you too... I hope it's not too much to ask but could you please fill me in on what went on?
Jesse: *turns to Hanzo* darlin' can you go get us more snacks? This is gonna take a while.
-
Jesse: So yeah, overwatch is back now and Han and I are together.
Marie-Anne: .... a few things, I want to meet Gabriel and thank him and same with the others, I'm gonna kick Jacks ass because nobody is allowed to speak about my baby that way and I love what you've done with the house and farm.
Jesse: *smiles* I'll gladly take you to base, if you don't want to stay on a military compound you can stay here if ya want.
Marie-Anne: I'd love that, but I want to stay on the base a little while to be with you, last I saw you was when you were still my little baby.
Hanzo: *chuckles* I'm also interested in knowing if you have some funny stories from when Jesse was a baby.
Jesse: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
So @strawberrynapa posted a pic on twitter of Hanzo and Genji's mom and their description gave me an Idea
*Hanzo and Jesse are on their Honeymoon and are watching a movie in their hotel room while they cuddle on the bed*
Hanzo: Jesse... Can I confess something to you?
Jesse: Sure darlin', what do you need off your chest?
Hanzo: … I envy the relationship you have with your mother...
Jesse: Why? Was your ma a bad lady?
Hanzo: No it's not that she was cruel... it's just the vague memories I have of her are unhappy, my mother was betrothed to my father but even when he attempted a relationship she loathed him and as a result she despised Genji and I...
Jesse: Damn... That sounds awful...
Hanzo: Yes... Our father told us she died of disease and that she did love us but she committed suicide after Genji was born because she couldn't stand to be the mother of two children she didn't love...
Jesse: How'd ya find out the truth?
Hanzo: Genji and I ransacked Shimada castle for sentimental items and we found our mother's private diary, it talked about how much she hated father, that he was a fool for even trying to make her love him, and how she felt pain whenever she saw me and Genji, she hated when I called out to her or tried to hug her... *tears up*
Jesse: Oh darlin'... *hugs Hanzo close*
Hanzo: I wish I had your mother...
Jesse: Well guess what? She's your mama in-law. *points to Hanzo's wedding ring* and she loves you a lot. *kisses Hanzo's cheek*
Hanzo: *smiles* I guess you're right...
Jesse: *sitting in the lounge hugging whiskey, he gives her a squeeze to hear the message and giggles happily*
Hanzo: you really like that toy.
Jesse: of course I do my mama got it for me. *throws whiskey up in the air and catches her while Hanzo watches longingly*
Hanzo: I wish I had a gift from my mother...
Marie-Anne: No worries Hanzo, I heard these were popular in Japan so I made you this. *she hands him a pachimari that looks exactly like him*
Hanzo: ... I love it, thank you Marie-Anne.
