#mamajoe

[hashtagdrrrnews-archived]

[hashtagdrrrnews-archived]

"Dear HashyNews-Chan, following our latest win as Couple Of The Week I've been feeling pretty down about my relationship with Iza-Iza. I've realized that when it comes to the differences between us, I am way too good for him. I'd like to find someone with less weird hobbies, and more hobbies like my own. I was hoping you could publish an ad for me in the Personals column looking for such a person. I've enclosed a bead necklace and three Animate coupons as payment. Sincerely, Karisawa-san."

FROM THE EDITORS

DEAR KARISAWA-HIME-SAMA

WE UNDERSTAND. 

IT’S ORIHARA IZAYA, AND WE UNDERSTAND.

WE WILL RUN THE PERSONAL AD FOR YOU, BUT RECOMMEND THAT YOU CONTACT M AND USE HER MATCHMAKING SERVICE.

LOVE AND HUGS

MAMAJOE

[hashtagdrrrnews-archived]

Table of Contents

DRRR NEWS HAS SEVERAL SECTIONS AND SERVICES THAT AID OUR READERS IN THEIR EVERYDAY LIFE. PLEASE SEE BELOW FULL A COMPREHENSIVE LIST.

HEADLINES (EXCLUSIVES, BROKEN & BREAKING NEWS): MAMAJOE, PG 1

FROM THE EDITOR & LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: SISSY-NEE, MAMAJOE, AND M, PG 2

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENTS: SISSY-NEE AND MAMAJOE, PG 3

ADVICE COLUMN: SISSY-NEE, PG 3

COTW INTERVIEWS: M, PG 4

INTERVIEWS: M, PG 5

POLLS, COTW, AND COMPETITIONS*: MAMAJOE, PG 6- 7

LOVE LETTERS AND POETRY: M, PG 8

MYSTERY’S MATCHMAKING SERVICE: M, PG 9

HOROSCOPES: SISSY-NEE, PG 10

NOTICE BOARD: RESIDENTS OF IKEBUKURO, PG 11

OPINION PAGE: RESIDENTS OF IKEBUKURO, PG 11

ACTIVITIES: SISSY-NEE, PG 12

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS: MAMAJOE, SISSY-NEE, PG 13

CLASSIFIEDS (LOST AND FOUND, PERSONAL ADS): MAMAJOE, PG 14

UNWANTED ADVERTISEMENTS: MAMAJOE, PG 14

OUTSTANDING PERSONS: MAMAJOE, SISSY-NEE, SEASONALLY ON PG 15

PLEASE NOTE THAT SECTIONS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE AT ANY TIME.

[hashtagdrrrnews-archived]

From the Editors

DEAR VALUED READERS AND LESS VALUED READERS WHO HAVE NOT PURCHASED THIS NEWSPAPER AND ARE INSTEAD USING IT AS A COVER WHILST THEY STALK THEIR “SHIZU-CHAN” BECAUSE THEY “WANT TO WATCH HIM DO MONSTER THINGS” AND DON’T FEEL AS THOUGH THIS NEWSPAPER IS CONTRIBUTING TO THAT EFFORT ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY SPEND MONEY ON IT, 

AS THE STAFF AT DRRR NEWS HAS RECENTLY EXPANDED FROM SISSY-NEE AND MYSELF (MAMAJOE) AND THE NAMELESS MOLEPEOPLE, TO SISSY-NEE, MYSELF (MAMAJOE), NAMELESS MOLEPEOPLE, A WANDERING DEMON WITH A KNIFE UNDER MY DESK, AND M, THINGS MAY SOON BECOME CONFUSING

WE WOULD ASK THAT OUR READERS, WHEN WRITING TO US DIRECTLY, PLEASE SAY WHO THEY WOULD LIKE TO HAVE ANSWER THEIR QUESTION. TIPS, HOROSCOPES, AND SUCH DO NOT NEED TO BE ADDRESSED, BUT THEY CAN BE IF YOU WOULD LIKE.

IF YOU DO NOT ADDRESS YOUR LETTERS, THEY WILL BE PLACED INTO A LARGE CANON AND FIRED INTO A FIELD. SISSY-NEE, M, AND MYSELF (MAMAJOE) WILL THEN HUNT FOR THEM AND WHOEVER FINDS THEM WILL ANSWER THEM.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

LOVE AND HUGS

DRRR NEWS

[hashtagdrrrnews-archived]

-sniffles- t-temgreen is saying some ve-very mean things to me and th-things about y-you mamajoe! ;///;

BREAKING NEWS!

@temgreen WRITES CHEQUES HER ASS CAN’T CASH, PICKS FIGHT WITH NEWSPAPER

DRAMATIC RE-ENACTMENT

[hashtagdrrrnews-archived]

Exclusive!

VOTES ARE POURING IN TO FIND IKEBUKURO’S COUPLE OF THE WEEK, WITH MANY COMMENTS BEING ADDED TO THE BALLOT SHEETS

WE HAVE INCLUDED THE COMMENTS, AS WELL AS THE CURRENT VOTES, AND REMIND OUR READERS THAT THE VOTING LINES ARE STILL OPEN

THE VOTES THUS FAR ARE AS FOLLOWS:

4.5 VOTES FOR @toudaimoto-kun AND @knightinyellow 1 VOTE FOR @toudaimoto-kun AND @darkderikkus 2 VOTE FOR @roastedorchid AND @masaomikidakun 1 VOTE FOR @ask-shizuchan AND @ask-izayan 1 VOTE FOR @xinformantx AND @xinformantx 1 VOTE FOR @temgreen AND DRRR NEWS ACE, M 1 VOTE ERICKSON AND @theviolentdancer 1 VOTE @allshewhispers AND @xhitorabux 1 VOTE @misguideddirection AND MAMAJOE  1 VOTE @i-detest-violence-dammit AND @marionetareina

VOTER COMMENTS:

@toudaimoto-kun: “I vote for Masaomi-kun and myself; ah, I wonder if Hikari could place a vote as well? Or maybe half a vote? As her owner I assure you she would vote for Masaomi-kun and me as well!”

@temgreen: "For best couple, Me and new reporter M."

@knightinyellow: “I vote for myself and Kurashi, of course! Our relationship is beautiful, and deserves to be shared with the world."

@knightinyellow:  “|| Mun also votes for toudaimoto-kun and knightinyellow :D||”  E/N: DRRRNEWS WOULD LIKE ANYONE IN THE AREA TO CHECK ON @knightinyellow, AS HE BELIEVES HE IS BEING CONTROLLED BY A “MUN” AND NEEDS URGENT TREATMENT

ANONYMOUS:  “ can i request misguideddirection and Mama Joe for ikebukuro's couple of the week? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) #otp”

VOTING LINES ARE STILL OPEN, AND DRRR NEWS WOULD LIKE TO REMIND ITS READERS THAT YOU CAN VOTE AS MANY TIMES AS YOU LIKE, FOR AS MANY COUPLES AS YOU LIKE, AND THAT BLOODSHED IS ENCOURAGED.

[hashtagdrrrnews-archived]

You should intervew Mikado and ask him who he was thinking about when he made those bedroom eyes !

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW!

WE SAT DOWN WITH possessionandpens IN ORDER TO GET TO THE TRUTH:

MAMAJOE: WHO WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT WHEN YOU MADE THOSE BEDROOM EYES?

possessionandpens: E-EH? BEDROOM EYES?

MAMAJOE: WHO, DAMNIT!?

possessionandpens: M-MY MOTHER! SHE ALWAYS TUCKS M-ME INTO BED, EVER SINCE I BROKE MY ARM THAT TIME!

FOR MORE OF THIS INTERVIEW, PLEASE PURCHASE THE FULL NEWSPAPER

[hashtagdrrrnews-archived]

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AFTER RECEIVING THAT LAST ANON, DRRR NEWS HAS DECIDED TO ADD A NEW SECTION TO OUR NEWSPAPER WITH A LIST OF BLOGS THAT YOU CAN TALK TO IF YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLES.

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