#man laws

[hollywood-vampires]

Don’t brag about yourself, let your work speak for yourself.

[darwinprime]

Man Laws

Article 1:  With regard to emotions.

Section 1: Emotions are stupid and should be hated.

Subsection 1: Friendship, love, and hatred are states, not emotions..

Section 2: Rage is easy, but is an emotion, and is thus stupid.

Subsection 1: If experiencing rage, perform carpentry or video games. Expression of rage as violence is stupid and should be hated.

Section 3: Lust is for children. Boys who have not learned to master their emotions may experience it, but adult men don’t have to have sexual intercourse like a rabbit on stimulants.

Subsection 1: If experiencing sexual attraction, it is permissable to pursue the object of your attraction. If the object of your attraction rebuffs pursuit, refocus that attraction in another direction. Continued pursuit is fruitless.

Subsection 4: All man decisions made from an emotional standpoint are inferior to ones derived from logic and cost/benefit analysis.

[mambonito]

Will devour you in time

[thelawsofman]

Don't play with glitter.

[lifedefused]

New Post has been published on Life Defused

New Post has been published on http://lifedefused.com/ravens-football-on-thanksgiving/

Ravens Football on Thanksgiving

So Matt and I went to the Ravens football game on Thanksgiving. I had a few too many cups of ‘Hot Chocolate’ (which I may or may not have spiked).  I had a great time at the game given that I didn’t want to even go to start with for a number of reasons including…..

Cold weather. Enough said.

Matt takes football WAY too serious for me. I am all about a good game but if my team loses, it doesn’t change anything for me. When the Ravens win, Matt is the best person in the world to hang out but when they lose, he’s inconsolable and is best left at home covered in his Ravens snuggie.

Football jerseys. This falls into the same category as jean shorts on men. It just isn’t cool and only shows me who didn’t make the varsity football team. What is worse is when the significant other is wearing a matching jersey.  For those that wonder… Matt has 3 and it is a weekly production (sometimes I think a life altering decision) on which color to wear.

Cold weather.

The Ravens lack some eye candy on and off the big screen so going to the game to watch a boring team that isn’t even good looking IN THE COLD didn’t sound appealing. Did I mention the male cheerleaders are ugly? Lil Ray Rice is about the only thing I have to look forward to thanks to his dimples. He needs to step it up though 3 yards average per run? My boyfriend watching the game is more entertaining than that.

Cold weather

Joe Flacco can you get more boring than that?  At the game I made fun of him to the guys seated behind us. To the point that even when the defense messed up I blamed it on Flacco.

THE COLD WEATHER! ! !

Alright so that being said, I just have to bring up something else why I am thinking about it. When we are in Cali we go over to a friend of Matt’s to watch the game since he is also a fan (kinda).  What is up with the new world of fantasy football fans? I swear they care more about their fantasy team than they do any real team. Frank is the guy who looks at his computer the entire game and will cheer against the Ravens if it means he gets 6 more points for his fantasy team.

So while I am poking fun of Football I wanted to share this:

The Football Fan’s Ten Commandments

You Must Choose Your Team by the Age of Eight.

Value That Team Above All Else, Even Yourself.

Under No Circumstances Can You Switch Teams (And Expect to Live).

There is a Limit to the Amount of Merchandise You Can Own (But It’s Very Generous).

Sportsmanship is for the Athletes. Fans Can Gloat Endlessly.

A Self-Induced Coma to Skip the Off-season is a Practical Solution to an Annoying Problem.

An Inoffensive Fantasy Football Name is a Lame Fantasy Football Name.

Wealth Doesn’t Matter So Long As You Don’t Have to Work Weekends.

Respect Superstitions. If Your Team Lost, It’s Because You Jinxed Them.

In Life, the Order of Importance: Football First, Football Second, Football Third, Family . . . uh, I Don’t Know, twelfth?

Alright so seriously, I had a great fricken time at the game. I wasn’t even cold but Matt kept me going with an IV of hot chocolate and I didn’t walk out the house without 10 layers of clothing. My take away from the game is this:

Try for a touchdown but when you have a quarterback like Flacco, sometimes you have to kick the field goal (5 at this particular game compared to the 1 touchdown).

  Thanks to Justin Tucker and the fact Matt picked the right color jersey to wear… Ravens won against the Steelers!

[doingwildthingsdaily]

Columbo Black - Man Laws (Guy Codes) (by soldier6150)

[thelawsofman]

If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be referring to his beer

[thelawsofman]

Friends don't let friends wear speedos. Ever.