#many petals

[tamakazurahatune]

Double Red Tiger's Tail

This cherry blossom has 25～35 petals.

花びらが25～35枚あります。

桜 八重紅虎の尾 浜離宮恩賜庭園

[sunshine-circus-sys]

For April Fools I will become a singlet

[tanyaluca]

Plenty of Petals....Tanya Luca

[sunshine-circus-sys]

I lose a lot of my time not only to dissociation, but also to daydreaming. Both are a reaction to trauma for us. If I'm not in another world, enjoying a life where everything is exactly as I make it, then I'm just out of my body and head, floating in some void in between being in control and not. There's a not so secret third option, where the body is lost to me and someone else takes it, but I'm ignoring that.

I often think I have this whole system and plurality thing under control and that I understand it and truly accept it. But the feeling of slipping out of my own head and body and into a void and empty nothing is scary. I've only ever had one seizure in my life, but the loss of self feels similar and it's terrifying for me.

So much of our youth was out of our control. And this disorder we developed helped protect us, it saved us from the lack of control and the weight of torture we experienced. But now I lose my ability to stay in control every time I get too overwhelmed or every time I see a specific trigger or even when hearing certain sounds. Sometimes I spend hours fighting to keep the driver's seat and still slip out and into the blankness.

But at the same time I fight to not lose control, when I'm present I make up fantastical stories to cope with horrible memories and feelings I can't handle.

[sunshine-circus-sys]

Sunshine Circus Syst3m Introduction

Interacts from @pumpkinsmoke

Our Carrd [to be added!]

Specific Tags

#plurality terms is for anything relating to terms used in plural spaces

#personal is anything personal

#many petals is for talk of our inner workings related to our formation and spirituality

#ephemerasys emotes is any emojis we make, usually for aac

Alter specific tags

#juno talks for juno... to talk

josh tag is anything Josh posts

#creamy talks is for CREAM!! to talk

#richie barks is for anything Richie posts

#felix tag is for Felix.

Important Posts

Neuro-Alt Coining

BYF and ARCHIVED TAGS BELOW READ MORE

BEFORE YOU FOLLOW: this is more of a warning of who we'll block than a DNI, but it stands!

Note: we do not take part in shipping discourse on this account or any other account. Note is for those who want to know before interacting.

We are not open to discussing our trauma or diagnosis, thank you :)

We are trans. If you are against transfolk, leave us alone. TRANS MEN ARE MEN. TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN. NONBINARY PEOPLE DONT OWE YOU ANDROGYNY OR A MASC/ FEM PRESENTATION. TRANSPHOBIA EXISTS AND IS A REAL, SERIOUS PROBLEM. IF YOU DONT BELIEVE TRANS PEOPLE EXIST, OR HATE US, I HOPE YOU FEEL AS SHITTY AS YOU ACT.

We believe that Asexuality is inherently queer.

We are ANTI ZIONIST. WE BELIEVE PALESTINE IS UNDERGOING A GENOCIDE AT THE HANDS OF ISRAEL.

That being said, antisemitic folk, FUCK OFF.

Its not our place to tell you you don't exist as a system, so We Don't Want Syscourse on this account. We are neutral on it, please don't bring it up ACTUALLY FUCK IT, WE ARE PRO ENDOGENIC

We are not open to discussing our stance on proship or comship. We do have an opinion but this is not the place for it, so don't ask!

We don't understand most transID and don't know enough to have a fully formed opinion. We do support transspecies folk and if you want to teach us we're open to listening.

We are strictly anti-contact for "harmful" paraphilias. It boils down to "if you can hurt someone via the actions you would take to fulfill the urges caused by the paraphilia, do not do them. Doing them is wrong. Experiencing the thoughts and attraction is not."

Currently Unused Tags

#nico core are for aesthetic posts from nico

#nico posts is anything Nico posts

#star meows🌟 Halo's posts

#park posts is for anything Parker/Charlie posts

#tyler posts is anything Tyler posts

#uni corn talk is Unis tag

#luca posts is anything Luca posts

#alex posts is anything Alex posts

#rooty tooty is anything root posts

#stark remarks is for Stark talking

#shady core is any aesthetic post from shady

[sunshine-circus-sys]

Why is it so hard to feel safe

[sunshine-circus-sys]

Wish I was less self aware so we could [redacted]

Back when we were in the behavioral health hospital we were told we should go to a residential facility. It was all set up but our mom convinced us to not go through with it, and since it was voluntary it was our choice. Insurance would've covered up to 6 months in residential. We could've gotten the help we need.

I need someone to see how sick we are and take pity. I need someone to look at me and say I belong locked away. I need my doctors to listen to me. Im losing my mind. Im going to die if i keep down this path.

Whatever. A

[sunshine-circus-sys]

Hi to anyone who cares about us,, were having a really bad time rn, our mom might have cancer (again)