#maraudergossip

[xritaskeeterx]

Friday's gossip column by Rita Skeeter

Not even enough gossip today to make a column for each era. Today you get them all in one column.  You don't misbehave as much as you used to. Me, myself and I, not to mention my extremely rabid readers, we are disappointed. Now, gossip.

Lovely. The snatcher isn't only running from his rabid fangirls (which I suspect might be the same as some of my rabid readers. Lovely isn’t it?) He is back to his old misbehaving ways. I've been asked (read threatened ) Yes ME to keep my mouth shut about what this was all about, but you all should keep your windows shut.

And what went on in the changing room? Lovely. I have spies everywhere, Scaboir & Bellatrix. Lovely. Just lovely. Lovely. Mr Lockhart, sorry Mr A Wanker, did not regain his memory like the healers at St Mungo’s thought he would. Another year of therapy then Gildy. Enjoy the straitjacket.

According to a not so anonymous source, Fenrir Greyback is toxic. Seems he broke wind the other day and made several people sick or faint.  That's disgusting even for you Greyback. Albus Dumbledore claims he fancies slippers more than socks. ???  Er what? Lovely. Now even Dumbledore lost it.  

Not by far enough gossip. Bring me more or my rabid readers will be even more disappointed.  

[xritaskeeterx]

[Marauder Era] Saturday's gossip column by Rita Skeeter

Rumours has it there will be a toga party at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Once again Xeno Lovegood started spreading rumours about such a party. Rumours that seems to be true. Xeno hoped the professors would join him and the rest of the students. Love the 70’s Sex, drugs (in this case gillyweed ??) and rock’n roll. Lovely!

  Speaking of sex, drugs and rock’n roll at Hogwarts. According to an anonymous source, with access to several common rooms at the school, students seem to be quite creative when it comes to where to sneak off to have fun. Your dirty deeds aren’t that secret anymore, students. The broom cupboards are now under surveillance, the cave in the Forbidden Forest is guarded by a Centaur. But if anything should happen, you know who to send the juicy rumours to, don’t you? Young love has always fascinated the Wizarding World, not to mention my rabid readers, especially if it involves children of prominent witches and wizards.

   Rumours has it Sirius Black and Remus Lupin are quite fond of each other. Can any of you confirm it? Will Sirius’ fangirls be all disappointed now? Stay tuned. No one is safe when it comes to Peeves and his shenanigans. A piece of advice: Always carry an umbrella in case of a dungbomb-rain.  Now, have fun kids (before some professor gives you all detention)  None of the pictures are mine  

[xritaskeeterx]

Should have been here yesterday

Lovely. A day too late. Why? I was taken in for questioning at the Ministry of Magic, thanks to Bellatrix Lestrange (?) who impersonated me using Polyjuice Potion. Me, myself and I had to stay there overnight. The Minister for Magic is in trouble, I know all his dirty little secrets. In case you got some juicy stories, rumours or just gossip, you know where to send it:

Owlbox 1 

Owlbox 2

Owlbox 3   

[xritaskeeterx]

Friday's gossip column by Rita Skeeter

Albus Dumbledore wants to know whether the Minister for Magic is aware of me being an unregistered animagus.  I had to answer him: I got so much dirt on the Minister he wouldn't dare to even speak to me in a harsh voice. According to a reliable source at the Ministry, the Minister himself likes to dress up in woman's clothing every Saturday.  Why only on Saturday Minister, why not all week? Lovely. Now we all know the Minister for Magic is a cross dresser. And Albus. Dear old Albus. He is quick when it comes to spread what he thinks is justice and truth. His version of the truth. Himself being the son of a man who ended up in Azkaban for using the Cruciatus Curse on three muggle boys who attacked the Dumbledore daughter: Ariana.  Even I see the justice in that. But dear Albus, don't be so quick to judge others. I know your dirty little secrets too. Do you want me to share them with the world? Oops I already did.

This will sell better than any book written by Gilderoy Lockhart (sorry A. Wanker as he likes to call himself nowadays).

Rumours has it Fenrir Greyback and an unknown bitch is expecting puppies.  Can Greyback confirm the rumours, or will we just have to wait and see?  Lovely, if the rumours are true we will have numerous little rabid wolf babies running around.  Now we know who had fun with Sirius Black's motorbike before it was handed over to Hagrid (who most likely crushed it) Me, my self and I should have written: The Secrets of Severus Snape.  Lovely! Think twice before you sneak into the broom cupboards at Hogwarts. You never know what waits for you inside, in the darkness. 

The result of drinking too much Firewhiskey

That's not even funny.  When the lights go out in the bedroom of those who see themselves as gods gift to Wizards, you can see the ugly truth. 

  Since there are no good stories or juicy rumours today. I'll treat you with some cake. 

Enjoy. If you want gossip, send me owls. Owls with gossip, rumours, juicy stories, pictures.

Owlbox 1 

Owlbox 2

Owlbox 3  

or ask for my muggle email.

(None of the pictures are mine) 

[xritaskeeterx]

[Marauder Era] Friday’s gossip column by Rita Skeeter

Xeno Lovegood Is still throwing toga parties at Hogwarts, according to an anonymous source several professors attended the last toga party. Lovely. Any more pictures? 

Is this some student's cat or McGonagall gone wild in a toga?  Lovely! 

Tom Riddle aka Lord Voldemort Has been seen lurking in several bedrooms at night

Me, myself and I believe the anonymous source is wrong, this looks more like Greyback on a good day. 

Malfoy Manor Strange thing appeared at Malfoy Manor the other day. A house elf was seen running from the place screaming. Picture taken by an anonymous source who has now (again!) mysteriously disappeared: 

Red eyes, creepy appearance? He has to be Lord Voldemort

Me, myself and I want more stories, juicy stories, gossip and rumours.  Feel free to owl it to me.

Owlbox 1 

Owlbox 2

Owlbox 3    

None of the pictures are mine, they are randomly found

[xritaskeeterx]

That's all for now. Rita over and out! Ciao!

Where to send gossip: 

Owlbox 1 

Owlbox 2 Owlbox 3  

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[Marauder Era] Friday’s gossip column by Rita Skeeter

Xeno Lovegood denies trying to sneak into the Slytherin girls dormitory. Maybe a drop of Veritaserum will help?  He is also heard yelling "TOGA" several times, tying to make his fellow students join in a toga party. Lovely! You are aware Xeno, if you wear a toga you wear it as they wear kilts, no undies. Picture sent me from anonymous source (Who the hell is he?)  

Prepare yourselves professors, Hogwarts will have a toga party. 

Has anyone seen this, whatever it is? Last spotted in the girls lavatory, Hogwarts. Friend of yours Myrtle?  As I wrote last week; October brings out the creepy crawlers.  I'm sure some Slytherin girl will curse this one??    (sorry anonymous source, the picture didn't work properly)

Moaning Myrtle is getting ready for Halloween  

A childhood picture of Walburga Black was recently discovered  

None of the pictures are mine. No credit taken unless said so

[xritaskeeterx]

[Marauder Era] Friday’s gossip column by Rita Skeeter

Xenophilius Lovegood An anonymous source at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry can report that Xeno Lovegood was pulled up from the Black Lake late yesterday evening. It was alleged that he was trying to dive down to the windows at the Slytherin dormitories (the girls dormitory) to have a sneak peek at what the Slytherin girls were doing. What did you expect to find but sleeping girls, Xeno. Lovely, now you are more creepy than Argus Filch. You are in trouble if anyone saw you. The anonymous source also tells me he succeeded in climbing the walls of Hogwarts to look into the Gryffindor girls dormitory the other day. Why such a creeper ? Or do you blame the Gillyweed? Messing with the Gryffindors may get you in trouble big time, but messing with Slytherins - you should know better it will get you cursed or killed. Stupid boy. And you call yourself a Ravenclaw?  Is this you Xeno?

Warning Don’t mess around with Polyjuice potion. You can end up like this. Picture taken by an anonymous student at Hogwarts School.  

Dementor! Dementor! (Or was it a stray and drunk auror?)  Last seen in Diagon Alley.  If it's a dementor people might want to know they are now able to "explode"  If it's a drunk auror - Stay away from the Absinthe!  In the case of drinking too much Absinthe, can this be one of the Lestrange brothers? Me, myself and I want to know. Can the Minister for Magic explain this?   

None of the pictures are mine.