#mark fingerman

[the-guild-codex-and-other-things]

Incorrect Chronicles of Nick Quotes

Nick: Caleb... Caleb: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

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Zavid: You have friends and I envy that. Nick: You're welcome to share my friends. Zavid: *looks at Mark and Bubba* Zavid: I don't want those.

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Mark: You need to stop swearing so much. Bubba: Shut the fuck up. Mark: Yeah, that's not how you do it. Bubba: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it. Mark: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine. Bubba: Shit the beep up. Mark: Bubba: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!

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Bubba: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance? Nick: No. Caleb: No. Bubba: Didn't think so.

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Bubba & Nick: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire* Bubba: We need an adult! Nick: Bubba, you are an adult! Bubba: We need an adultier adult! Get Cherise!

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Nick: Can I ask a dumb question? Caleb: Better than anyone I know.

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Nick: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

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Mark: *slowly pushes a cannon into a 17th century bank* Okay everyone, be cool. This is a robbery.

[calebsmalphas]

I love the fact Bubba and Mark sent Nick a flower arrangement so large they couldn’t fit it inside their condo 

[incorrectchroniclesofnickquotes]

Mark: How long have you been sleeping with Caleb?

Nick: What? I don't even get...Why would...I...I've never had sex with anyone anywhere. It's none of your... You have the nerve, the audacity... An how... How do I know, frankly, that you're not sleeping with him? Maybe you are. Maybe you're trying to throw me off.

Mark: ...

[incorrectchroniclesofnickquotes]

Mark: So Bubba and I have come up with the theme for the new zombie survival class.

Bubba: "The Comeback Kid."

Mark: Everyone loves a good comeback story. Rocky.

Bubba: Robert Downey Jr.

Madaug: Terminator said, "I'll be back," and he was.

Caleb: Also making a comeback--the casual Hawaiian shirt.

Nick: Well, well, well. Look who's ahead of the curve.

Caleb: I was joking. You should soak that in bleach and burn it.

[booksandwords]

I don't have to outrun zombies. I just have to outrun you.

Mark Fingerman, Infinity (Chronicles of Nick, Sherrilyn Kenyon) This is an older quote that never fails to make me laugh.

[intrepidmare]

Don’t do something else to harm him or I’m going to turn his mama loose on you.” Mark immediately tossed the cattle prod so that it landed by Caleb’s feet. He held his hands up as real fear entered his eyes. “Anything but Cherise. I swear I’d rather be naked in the swamp, surrounded by Madaug’s super zombies and hungry gators, than be covered in Kevlar, fully armed with a live grenade in my teeth and flamethrower in my hands and face Cherise Gautier when she’s in Nick-protection mode. I ain’t never seen a scarier Chihuahua.” Mark was right. Forget his demon bodyguard, Nick’s mom was a thousand times more fierce. And deadlier.

Mark and Bubba’s mom, Inferno [Chronicles of Nick #4] - Sherrilyn Kenyon

[intrepidmare]

Nick?” Mark called through the door as Nick was coming out of the shower. “It’s your mom on the phone and she’s hotter than Angelina Jolie lying in a bikini on the equator, covered in mud. … Not that I’m saying your mom is good-looking, not that she isn’t, but I don’t ever fantasize about your mom ’cause that would just be wrong to do to a guy— not that your mom isn’t fantasy worthy … but— Ah, hell, all that sounded better in my head. My point is, she’s angry. Just take the phone before she scalds my ears some more.” Nick paused. That was an interesting tirade and made him wonder about Mark’s daydreams—Wait, never mind. Knowing Mark, those had to be terrifying. Heck, he was lucky Mark’s dream girl wasn’t zombified.

Mark Fingerman, Infinity [Chronicles of Nick #1] - Sherrilyn Kenyon