Yall ever notice how people are “strahm has such pretty eyelashes, hes a princess” and then its like “hoffman got some phat gorilla titties with some lip filler, i wanna push him down the stairs”

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Yall ever notice how people are “strahm has such pretty eyelashes, hes a princess” and then its like “hoffman got some phat gorilla titties with some lip filler, i wanna push him down the stairs”
detective hoffman
HIS TEST - Mark Hoffman x F!Reader
Everyone has been tested. Except him. Everyone have gone through their personal hell. But he? He remained untested….or that’s what he thought.
“I do appreciate my life…” Hoffman says, an almost undetectable string of what you could conclude as arrogance tint his voice. He doesn’t know John it’s going to test him very soon….
Warnings: None.
Unknown.
Your existence was unknown to the other apprentices. The fact that you met every single one of them, under “casual” circumstances, causal enough for John to elaborate, were never enough for the rest of them to even suspect you could be an apprentice too. John’s gift to you was none other than the perfect veil of uncertainty.
You knew everyone else’s life and how they were doing along side John. But he got plans for you…you’re supposed to keep a close eye to one particular apprentice. Mark Hoffman. He was…something else, you could tell. As said before, you knew every single one of them, but you found Mark rather interesting. His main motivation to help John caught your eye since day one. You came along after Logan, but before Mark, so when John first talked about him with you, the ceed of curiosity was planted. You still wanted to remain anonnymus to every single apprentice John had, so you would keep an eye on them with discretion, maybe even look out for them when John didn't even asked you to. The first time you saw him, he was patrolling thye streets and you stand by his police car and asked for a smoke. More precisely, asked for fire to start a smoke. His blue deep ocean eyes were unmistakable.
//
"Excuse me Officer, but by any chance do you happen to have fire? I would like to light up a smoke." You asked. Your voice soft like the wind blowing that night. You look at him holding a smoke between you lips.
He looks back at you for a moment, his eye lingered on your figure for a second, then nod yes nonchallantly.
"What's a girl your age doing outside so late at night?..."
"Couldn't sleep, Officer." He then approaches the lighter near your cigarette and lights it.
"You're so young to have habits like this one..." He speaks gesturing with his head at your cigarette.
That's ironic.
For someone who's helping a killer accomplish their desires. You didn't pay much attention to his comment.
"Oh, but bad habits don't die, specially if they’re old ones, right Officer?" He didn't notice, but there also was irony in your question, cause him from all people shouldn't be having this doble moral.
"Guess you're right." He forced a smile.
You don't remember too much from that night, but he apologize, told you he was still on duty and took off.
//
The sound of voices echoing from afar brought you back to reality. You were standing on the shadow of a corner inside the meat plant. John had asked you to come over, cause he needed your help. But he never told you the others would be here too. You recognize one voice at least. Feminine, but not fragile, that’s how one of the voices sounded like. How could you not recognize it? It was Amanda Young. She came after Mark, her test was crude but necessary. The other voice was a male voice, which soon after you’d recognize as Dr.Gordon’s voice.
Now, he was the latest apprentice, he was part of a game that took place in that mundane industrial bathroom. You helped John to physically prepare the space, and you hated every single second of it. This two were talking among themselves, unaware you were around, but apparently Mark wasn’t here today, although something told you he was in fact present, somewhere. A thin tall figure approached you. John. You crossed your arm and gave him a glare.
“You didn’t mention the others were here too.” You tilted your head.
“Would you have drive all the way here if I’d told you the rest were inside?” He smiled slightly.
“No…I wouldn’t…” You rolled your eyes as you return the smile back. You stepped closer to him, reaching out for his shoulders. “How you’ve been lately?”
”Surviving, as always…I don’t have news unfortunately….” He said. You had your doubt about his word. Cause you knew he went to Mexico for a couple of days, not so long ago, and he hasn’t spoke a word about it. So you looked at him and asked.
“Did something happened in Mexico?” I tilted my head, and he sigh.
”Just…minor inconveniences. Detective Hoffman and Amanda took care of the situation. You have nothing to worry about.” He affirmed, sounding convincing. You decided to not keep questioning him about it. Instead you just nod. He gestured for you to fallow him.
”walk with me.” He said.
“sure…” You fallow him around. Until he stopped on a place far from the others.
“I think you know why I asked you to come….” He continued.
“I pretty much have an idea, yes.” You answered.
“I need you to do something for me.” He asked.
”Anything.” You didn’t even thought twice before answering. Cause the truth was, you would do anything for him, cause you couldn’t shake the feeling that you owned him so much. He looked at you tilting his head before speaking.
“I need you to keep an eye on Mark, please.” He spoke again, and you rose an eyebrow.
Mark?…that’s interesting.
”Sure…sure, I’ll do it. But-may I know…why?” You stated. Crossing your arms in front of you, hugging yourself. He looked at you for a second then nodded.
“Of course. I have reasons to believe he might still get emotionally involved with our games.” John explained, with his usual tone of voice and gestures, telling you how you should proceed. You nodded in agreement, there was nothing left to say.
John apparently noticed and let you go freely, kissing you goodbye in the cheek. You returned the gesture and smiled. Though you didn’t left the plant yet, cause when you were about to, you heard John speaking with someone else. This times you were sure. It was Mark Hoffman. You fallowed them from the shadows of the corners, they were going to the industrial bathroom again. Much to your surprise, someone was there. A middle age man, bound to the ceiling from the wrists. From the comfort on a corner you watched Mark going in with John. He talks to the guy in there, though you couldn’t really hear the whole conversation, you could catch only one phrase.
“That’s what I call…epic bad luck…”
Mark said, smirking and sounding as smug as always. You eyes lingered at his lips a little bit as he talked. His hair tucked backwards. You found yourself smiling slightly at his comment. You thought it would be fun to keep an eye on such a guy.
Hello!!! It’s been a while <3 but I’m back!! This time with something new!! Hope you like this Saw fic!! See you around!! Also, this is uploaded on AO3!! Here’s the link ❤️❤️
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Have YOU Met Them Yet? 🤔🧩
(was originally on tiktok, but the audio got nuked sooooooo)
He might be a little unhinged but he's still my baby 🖤
Made an edit for him cause I’m mentally ill Hoffman my beloathed // TW blood
epic bad luck!!
You know if Peter Strahms middle name was Michael, everything would make more sense…
“Here comes Mister PMS…”