𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐞 || 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐫
YouTube — markiplier x black, female oc
The urge to interrupt him before he had finished was overwhelming. She had been gone for years, and to, suddenly, show up out of the blue? She flinched as her mind raced through the worst case scenarios. “He could either yell at me or be utterly repulsed by the fact that I returned unannounced.” But, she blinks and laughs at her own pathetic-ness.
That wasn’t Mark, now, was it?
“That’s a reaction that belongs to me and me alone,” she mumbles to herself, “Mark is not me.” She looks up from where she had been staring at her feet to be met with the sight of her daydreams and teenage infatuation. “He’s better than me.”
Though, infatuation couldn’t be the right word. How could it be when her feelings still lingered? Feelings so strong, it’s the only reason why she found herself returning to such a painful place.
Amy, Mark’s ex girlfriend, had let her in—the sweet woman had just finished her weekly check up on him since he had a tendency to go off the grid for long periods of time. “He’s in his office editing a video; I think he’ll appreciate the needed company.” The brunette had said after a brief greeting. “Today’s my last day coming here,” she continued sadly, “We both need to move on. So, thanks for answering my request.”
Amy had planned Mark’s surprise. A last gift before she left his side completely.
Now she found herself standing in the open doorway of Mark’s recording room, anxiously waiting for him to finish. Truly, she did want to speak to him…but, if he was going to end up being upset with her, might as well let him finish his work so that he won’t be too angry.
And when he had finished, when he did begin to turn around in his chair, she flinched and prepared for the worst with a crooked smile and nervous flick of her wrist.
His mouth fell agape and the bags under his eyes seemed darker as his blown pupils grew wider. His raven hair had grown and barely grazed his shoulders. His round glasses graced the edge of his nose. And it seemed as if his facial hair was the only thing that remained unchanged on his otherwise matured and solemn face. He was no longer the boy she once knew.
Her first initial thought was that she wanted to kiss him. Badly. How desperate could I possibly be? For him? Very desperate.
“Mark,” she breathed. And at the same time he exhaled Cyan in disbelief. “Hi,” she continued, “Long time, no see.” In a second he was at her side, pulling her in close for a tight embrace. “Cyan I missed you,” he mumbled against her shoulder.
She wrapped her arms around him and breathed in his scent. It had changed. Instead of sweat and his mother’s perfume, he smelled of teakwood and muted Old Spice. “I missed you, too.”
“What’re you doing here?”
His breath tickled her lips but, she wasn’t stupid enough to lean in. She looks up into his tired eyes, giving him a small smile, “Because I missed you too much.” And I love you just the same. His weary grin grew wider and he pulled her in close again. His arms tightening around her shorter frame.
“Cyan—“ her ears perked up at the sound of her name, “—Amy and I broke up…she said she wasn’t coming back.” She heard his voice crack just the slightest bit but felt no tears. She rubs his back soothingly. “Well, I’m here now.”
“Yeah, but for how long?”
“However long you need me to be.”
His breath hitched. Out of all the answers she could’ve said, it’s the one he wanted to hear the most.
The smile that he tried to bury down with a frown could be heard in his voice as he replied with a short Okay. But, she knew that her words made him happy.
They were in the living room laying side by side on the floor, Genshin Impact had remained paused on the tv for the past thirty minutes. The two had been talking about everything and nothing and the yearning to kiss him was growing immensely too strong. “Cyan…why did you leave?”
Her heart felt ready to leap out of her throat every time he spoke her name. “What?”
“The last time I saw you was right before Ethan and I announced Unus Annus and the last time I heard your voice was when we played with Bob, Wade and Seán. I tried going to your house after you changed your number but, then I heard that you moved. You still posted on your channel…but, I thought I’d never see you again. Did you leave because of me?”
The more he rambled on about the memories, the more his eyes seemed to gloss over. He was clearly still hurt. She placed a hand on his chest and rubbed circles into the thin fabric of his black shirt with her thumb. “No, I didn’t leave because of you.”
My heart ached every time I saw you hug her. “I was going through a lot at the time.” Every time you kissed her. “I had to move back home to gather my thoughts.” Every time you looked at her with those adoring gazes. “And then, my brother died in a car accident.” But, worst of all… “And my mother collapsed out of stress and exhaustion.” I hated how much I wanted you to want me. Any crumb of attention I basked in. I’m sorry but I had to leave. “She’s doing better now, Bryan is taking good care of her. But, my father is still a mess.”
“Why didn’t you let me be there for you? We were best friends, right?” It just hurt too much. Everything hurt. “And we still are, but you were working on projects…I refused to stress you out even more. I wanted to return to you okay.”
“Well, are you?” She smiled sadly at him, “No, I’m not.”
It’s been months since I returned, yet this silly, little crush I have on you has yet to wither, and it has, instead, become monumental. A crush? Love? I’m afraid it’s become something much more greater than that. And I am terrified.
“Cyan?” She looks up from her notebook to where she had been beckoned. Mark stood a few feet away clad in a loose shirt and grey sweats. She nearly choked at the sight. “Wanna play a few rounds of 2K?” He had asked as if his attire didn’t affect her like she was a horny teenager again. “Yeah, sounds fun.”
“Let’s make it a little more interesting this time, though,” his voice had gone down a few octaves which caused her to raise an eyebrow in question. “More interesting how?”
“If you win, I’ll tell you something that I’ve been keeping a secret from you.”
“Well, then I guess you have something to look forward to, but I’ve been practicing in my spare time.”
And, even so, Mark still lost five games of 2K and one round of Fall Guys. “Welp…I guess, you lost.” When she looked over his face was red with embarrassment. She chuckles, “So, what is it that you’ve been keeping a secret?”
“To be honest, I wasn’t expecting you to win.” He cleared his throat and, suddenly, he found his hands quite interesting. “But, I’m a man of my word.” Despite his tough words, however, he still sat there twiddling his thumbs and Cyan could do nothing but stare.
After moments of complete awkward silence (and something on the brink of sexual tension) Mark finally decided to speak, “I…I remember the feeling. I remember how it felt.”
What? Now she was fully intrigued.
“When you left I first thought the worst. I refused to believe you would leave me like that—without saying anything to me. And when I saw your posts…I became so damn angry. It felt as if my anger issues had resurfaced,” he turned to look at her. There were so many emotions that lingered in his eyes, but there was one that she just couldn’t identify. What is that?
“I was angry for years. A different type of anger that I’ve never felt before. And I knew something else was there. I could never figure out what it was.” His fists clenched against his sweats as he seemed to become more emotional as he spoke on. “At some point it began to affect my relationship with Amy. I didn’t know why. Until she told me that somewhere along the line…I had fallen in love with you.” Cyan’s breath hitches.
“I’m in love with you, and have been for a long time.”
If Cyan looked in the mirror she would see what these last few years in a pandemic has done to her. Heavy bags under her eyes, her brown skin had become paler and, due to quarantine, her social skills have gone down the drain. So, how the hell is she supposed to respond?
Though, she had been quiet for a beat too long and Mark’s soft expression was beginning to contort into one of hurt.
She shook her head, becoming upset with herself, I will not hurt him again!
Then, she places a hand under his chin and leaned in, allowing his lips to meet hers halfway. The kiss was short and sweet and innocent. “I love you, too…for so long I’ve loved you. And now I can finally say it.” She pecks his lips.
“I just wanted you to want me…and I needed you to need me.”
Cyan chokes on nothing but air as she registers Mark’s request. “What!?”
His blush is prominent as he tries to correct himself, stumbling over his words, “Wa-wait! What I…what I meant was…ummm…will you marry me? In the future?” He looks down and begins to play with his thumbs again. “I want to be with you, even if it’s not on paper.”
Cyan hugs his side, resting his head on her chest and kisses the top of his messy dark hair. “Of course I’ll marry you. I want to be by your side for as long as God allows me.”
She smiles into his hair. You wanted me to want you, too. We’re both so stupid. “Let’s play some Genshin, okay?”
“And we can think about getting in bed later,” she smirks. Mark begins to fluster a cherry red. “Cyan!” She just laughs and kisses his lips again.
