The Scam of Marriage and Sex...
These past few months I've been spending A LOT of time and work towards being a better father and husband. I've pretty much stopped all alcohol, have started taking Ritalin, got off social media, taken on more emotional responsibility with the kids, worked on communication with the Overlord, and am really trying to be the best husband and father I can be. And a lot of the feedback from the Overlord is that she had more time and energy when I'm taking more of the emotional load. Plus, she supposedly finds that to be more attractive (very allegedly on that one).
Now, I already require A LOT of work to keep myself sane and focused, especially in a demanding job as the primary breadwinner. Plus, having two special needs children doesn't make it easy for an autistic person. So needless to say, I'm working on all these things, AND communication to be a better partner, to where I'm very exhausted a lot of the time. So yes, I don't put effort into being romantic. First, the Overlord's hormones are out of whack so I don't even know what's going on. Second, every time there's a hint that I'd like to be teased (for example a recent moment where the Overlord asks me to do something for her, so I reply with "what do I get?" Then she flat out says "Well, I'm not flashing you if that's what you want."). Third, I'm just exhausted, simple. I'm putting all this work into being a better partner and father that I was sure there'd be more connection and sex.
So we're talking about if we'd have an affair, and I mention it would be hard for me to do so because I prefer having a connection with someone to really enjoy sex. What surprised me was her response of "Oh, I could just have sex with any guy. I'm good for that. The only reason we're not having sex is because you're not romantic." So I ask to clarify "Wait, are you saying you're ok to have sex with any other guy, even without romance?!" And she just gives an answer of "Yes. You're my husband so I'd expect you to be romantic, but with anyone else it's just sex so I don't care about that. The only reason I wouldn't have an affair is it would be too much work to organize it."
So let me get this straight. If I were just some schmo that could organize a time and place for sex, that'd be fine? But even though I'm putting in all this work to be a better husband and father, am exhausted from it, as well as providing a big portion of this great life she has....she still has the expectation for me to be romantic?! AND even without giving any hint or tease that she's even sexually interested in me?!
And I often think if I didn't get married, how she'd always feel a little bit iffy if I weren't happy in the bedroom. How it could be easier to just pack up my shit and find someone else. I hope some you g men come across this post and realize marriage is a scam and just a trap of misery.