#marriedtocomedy

[comedianjojo]

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@comedianjojo Me complaining for nearly one minute about laundry! Yup ! Life in the road 24/7 non excitement ! #lol #ilovemyjob #marriedtocomedy #jojocollins #sillarious #comedylife #killinit #nofilter #BadBitch #laundry #wtf 😂😂😂😂

[comedianjojo]

@comedianjojo #ThisIsWhatIDo recap of a great week with BEASTS of Comedy! Thank you @comediancapone for allowing me to share the stage with you and @alfredkainga crescendo of laughter you two are comedy forces! #clever #funny #Friends #ny #King #gangster #african #King #BadBitch #sillarious #beautifulbeast #sexy #laugh #sidebitchofcomedymakinghwrwaytomainbitch #giggle #marriedtocomedy #silly #foragoodimebookacomic #humor #her #sorrynotsorry #love #haters #chuckle #lol

[starbudds]

Messy Stuff

So the conversation that originally planted this whole seed of a blog took place a few months ago. I was telling Ryan about a discussion my friend KD and I had that day about the idea of "trying" to get pregnant. KD had just spilled the beans and told me she was pregnant! We've been friends for years, I love her dearly and was (still am!) over the moon excited for her and the Mr! When I told Ryan the story we were both laughing and talking about how no one ever mentions this stuff. Its all part of life and everyone goes through it, but no one says a word about it. Let me explain:

Do you have those friends where you talk about A but not B? And that other friend where you talk about C and D but never mention A? Does that make sense? Well this is one of my friends where we just never talk about sex. We never have. I don't know why. I talk about it with other friends. Hell, I talk about it with complete strangers. But for whatever reason it was just something KD and I never really brought up in conversation. However, when it is brought up, like this specific day, it is done so in an extremely vague and nondescript way. 

So anyways, after the congratulations were finished, I asked the question everyone always asks, or at least wants to ask: was it planned or a surprise (I think that is so much better than 'accident'). She said that it was planned, her and the Mr. had decided they would start 'trying' and of course, they hit a 'hole in one' on one of their first times. This sparked my curiosity though, what exactly did 'trying' mean to them... 

Me: What exactly did you do different this time? I don't know if we're doing something wrong. KD: Well, instead of getting up when we were done, I just laid there.  Me: But it's so messy! Did you put your feet up against the wall?  KD: I just tried to keep it in as long as possible before gravity kicked in. Then I hobbled to the bathroom with tissue between my legs.  Me: OMG I do the same thing!

This was followed up with laughter and the obvious question- why doesn't anyone tell you how messy this stuff is? I mean growing up they always tell you not to have sex because all it takes is one time to get pregnant. Well I'll tell ya what, it's definitely not taking only one time for me. I honestly think that when I was in middle school if they would have told me how gross it was, how stuff gets all over the place, it would have definitely scared the crap out of me enough not to try it. They painted this picture in all of our heads that it was so easy to get pregnant, that it happens all the time when girls are on the pill and the guy wears a condom. I recently asked someone in the family what he and his wife did differently to try for their baby, simple as pie for them- just didn't use a condom. Once. That's it. Just like they say in the text book. Damn you!

As I lay here typing this, with my feet against the wall and my legs starting to fall asleep, I'm beginning to think we're doing something wrong.... :-)

But seriously, I'm starting to think all those Sex Ed teachers were lying to me. They make you think everyone is the same, all girls are on the same cycle, all boys have strong swimmers that know the directions, and if there are no road blocks, we'll all have babies in ten months. (That's another thing they don't tell you correctly- it's 40 weeks! That is ten months folks!) Everyone keeps telling me not to worry about it, it will happen when it is supposed to, yada yada yada. Back home in Chicago this weekend I was having lunch with one of my new mommy friends and so far she has had the story most like mine- went four months with no p, crazy symptoms and side effects from stopping the pill, and then suddenly, even though no p, she got pregnant. This gives me hope. My whole faith in "everything will work out" was starting to wear thin with nothing to back it up. But to know someone, and to hold her beautiful baby, and know that she had thought it might not be possible too- that gives me faith again that it will work out when it is meant to be. 

In the mean time, luckily for Ryan, I don't know when I'll ovulate next so I suppose we better apologize to the neighbors....

[starbudds]

Ryan drags me to a lot of comedy shows. Sometimes I want to go, but sometimes, I'm just being a good wife. 

So, in return, sometimes I make him do something utterly ridiculous like dressing up and going to a Renaissance Fair! Granted, I was the one that got dressed up (thanks for the outfit, Mom) and he got away with a cheap Robin Hood hat. 

He ended up having a blast, despite his efforts to prove me wrong. Check out our adventures in pirates, Furries, and other various creatures in the video above! Watching this makes me want to go again! Ryan, get out your hat!

[starbudds]

Patton Oswalt Stella D’oro

This is the first comedy clip Ryan ever had me listen to while sitting in the hallway waiting for our English class to start back in 2005. Pretty sure I laughed so he would keep talking to me, because listening to it again, I don't recognize any of the material. Boy, I had no clue these few minutes of jokes would lead to a lifetime of them. I wouldn’t change a second of it.

[starbudds]

First, just wanted to say thanks for all the love yesterday! Way bigger response than any either of us were expecting. Sincerest thank you from the bottom of my heart for welcoming me into the blogging world! :-)

Now for those of you that don't know my husband, here is a short clip of some of his stand-up. Before you watch it, here are a few insider’s tips on some of the jokes: 

1) I’m the current bread winner despite what he says 2) Yes he was that miserable doing our wedding registry 3) We do not own napkin rings, nor did I register for any. I'm all for the Scooby-Do action, who's with me? ;-)

If you've ever seen Ryan perform you know there are tons more jokes about me that need clearing up, but we'll get there!