McFly July: Out of Order & Outta Wack!
Warnings, Tags, A/N: Based on Bo Burnham's story of one of the hardest time he's laughed from the You Made It Weird podcast.
The year is 2012, it's a hot day, and fourteen-year-old Marlene McFly was forced to take her twin brother, Junior, with her while she went out with one of her friends (at the time).
"Honestly, I just hope he doesn't argue with the ice cream guy over the Spongebob ice cream again..." Marlene groaned. Spike chuckled, recounting the time Marlene complained to her over the phone about the incident. Junior was staring at a dog taking a crap across the street until Marlene spoke, then he turned around, his brows furrowed.
"Hey, y'kno- that wasn't even my fault," Junior retorted, voice cracking as he reached back and pulled out the wedgie that had formed in his behind area. Spike just slowly blinked and gazed elsewhere with a look on her face, trying not to laugh or give too rude of a look. Marlene just sighed, already embarrassed, shielding her face from the other people in both their and the other formed line with her hand.
"This guy on YouTube said that they just say that because they're hiding all of the Spongies for themselves," said Junior, who was scratching his chin now with the same hand that dug his pants. "The Illuminati told them to do that because the hydroglycerin or whatever in the blueberry eyes actually change your DNA and can give you superpowers." Spike and Marlene exchanged a look.
"Junior, no more of your nonsense, you're embarrassing me," grumbled Marlene, her face in one of her hands now. Spike simply stood a bit awkwardly. They moved up a step in line.
Junior was distracted by two dogs this time, doing something that a kid probably shouldn't be witnessing. Marlene was grossed out but glad that he stopped talking, so she continued talking with Spike.
"I dunno, Marlene, Griff really isn't a bad guy," Spike argued, looking down at the ground and toying with her hair a bit. Marlene let out a breath of disbelief, turning to her.
"Spike, his grandpa bullies his own grandpa."
In the middle of their conversation, the man in front of them moved up a step, finally getting his turn. They moved up, still speaking, but their voices faded into quiet as the man spoke.
He must have been from around the west country in England--either that or the guy had Tracheitis--and though they'd spoken English for their entire lives, Marlene and Spike could not understand what the man was saying for the life of them. It was like he was constantly putting pressure at the front of his throat and trying to speak without making his teeth or lips touch, or even let his tongue move, and trying to be as monotone as possible. It was pure grated gibberish to them, and they weren't even sure if the ice cream man understood what he was saying.
The two girls looked at each other, silently making an agreement (and a challenge) that they would. Not. Laugh. At this man's voice. He was a foot away from them. It was the most intense staring contest ever, with both of them sweating more from keeping the best poker face they could muster. As the man continued speaking (was it even speaking? they wondered), they even grasped each other's hand, firmly squeezing and putting all of their focus on whatever they could. Eventually, the man finished his droning, and the two girls let out breaths they didn't even know they were holding in.
Junior finally turned back around and stepped up with them, very loudly saying, "Hey, did anyone hear that robot voice?"
Marlene and Spike felt their entire bodies tense up. They didn't even have to look in front of them to know that the man had heard Junior and was probably insulted. But they couldn't help it.
It started out with bottom lips being bitten, shoulders hunched and slightly shaking, deep exhales out the nose, until eventually they both just wheezed their way into an explosion of laughter, covering their mouths with their hands even though it was useless. They were laughing so hard that they were practically yelling and started to lose mobility in their legs, and holding onto each other wasn't enough. They collapsed slowly onto the ground, rolling, literally rolling and roaring with laughter. People stared and they knew it but they just could not care in the moment--they could hardly even breathe.
Once they calmed down enough to sit up on the sidewalk, smiles still on their faces against their will, they looked up at Junior and, when you pair someone who always looks painfully stupid with the lines of vision of two people who are in such a giggly mood they'd find anything funny, they went right into another fit, falling back once more, face hurting from smiling and stomach hurting from laughing so hard.
That is the story of the one time Marlene was perhaps more embarrassing in public than Junior.
