It's literally so grating how everyone in this gd stream is talking abt all the strong flawed nuanced female characters and how mass effect SHATTERED the glass ceiling....................ok talk to me abt the titty plates. (the N7 honkers, ash in a hospital bed with mountainous jubblies, jacks design, mirandas sentient ass, samara's V-V-V-V-V neck)..... talk to me abt miranda and jacks pointless catfighting, "i can't believe cerberus lets you wh+re around in that outfit", the asari in general, Immersive Sexism vs femshep,
Mass effect really was like hello mshep would you like to be sexy dutch model mark vanderloo or the ugliest motherfucker alive? yes those are your only options
the only time i believed a single word of m.rk m..rs acting for maleshep was when traynor tells him she's a lesbian and he does the awkward straight man "oh."
Cant stop thinking about the military/alliance in the mass effect universe...like the state of the world is such that a huge chunk of the Earth's population is part of this huge conglomerate army. U play as a member of this army and are unquestionably lauded as a hero by your superiors—even when u commit literal war crimes. ppl who get in your way are just plain wrong, they're pen-pushers who don't want to recognize the real threat of the reapers
which, the reapers....within the constraints of the narrative of this world, it is Right and Good that every species in the galaxy has a huge fucking army because we have to fight this external threat which is Objectively Evil; therefore the existence of the military is justified and Shepard at the helm of it all is a hero and lives on as a galaxywide legend.
hackett compares building the catalyst in ME3 to the us army dropping nukes in japan during wwii ("they knew the risks, but they did what had to be done, and so will we.") and nothing and no one is there to contradict this view or to point out how fucked up that comparison is
like fantasy and sci fi (especially sci fi) exist primarily as allegory—you can't draw up this situation where having a huge robust military is the only thing that saves all life, where your protagonist and all her friends are soldiers committing atrocities in the name of destroying a threat only they can see, and BEING VINDICATED for it, without it reflecting back on the writers (but also the player).
idk what my point is. and i don't see another way this story could have been done but it fucks with me
Super curious- if you don’t wanna answer obviously ignore this- but how would you rewrite Jacob’s romance like in broad strokes? I really liked him but never played through it and went and watched it and JFC you were right :( awful
it’s just not good at all is it :(( i was in the same situation as you, i like jacob a lot and i hadn’t seen the romance but i’d heard bad things and...ugh it lived up to my every awful expectation
(JESUS THIS GOT SO LONG)
i think the biggest thing i’d change is just how COLD he seems throughout the entire romance? when you meet him in me3, brynn has to tell you that jacob (still) loves you. she has to tell you, because at NO point in either me2 or me3 do we receive any evidence of that. there’s even that line where jacob “playfully” refuses to say ‘i love you’ back to femshep (”not if you’re fishing for it”) but like. that sort of ribbing falls completely flat if there isn’t an undercurrent of affection and appreciation. which there isn’t, with jacob.
he’s pretty much pushing back against femshep’s advances from the get go, insisting that he wants things to stay professional, and when femshep pushes and pushes him, he concedes that he’d like a relationship with her as long as it stays casual, ie no stakes. there are other romances that do this to a certain extent (garrus being a little iffy about shaking the sheets with a human, thane being...a dying man) but having worked past these initial bumps, both of them are strongly and consistently interested in shepard. there seems to have been no effort to make that transition happen with jacob. he keeps her at arm’s length (i’d argue it’s actually more like he’s beating her away with a broomstick) and if not for brynn’s line about “he still loves you”, we would have absolutely no reason to believe that shepard meant anything to him.
but having said all that, let me start over. i think rewriting jacob’s romance in a satisfactory (and non-racist) way would require almost rebuilding his character from the ground up. he has a few solid character beats - wanting a family and being good with kids (see me: foundation and his scene in the citadel dlc); having left the alliance in order to ‘make a difference’ without the red tape (similar to garrus’ reasons for leaving c-sec); having done some pretty heroic shit ie. saving the entire citadel from a batarian bioweapon and having received no recognition for it whatsoever; BEING A SHAMELESS ROMANTIC (his plan to propose to brynn where he wants to take her on a picnic under the cherry blossoms before popping the question???)
- as well as a few elements of his backstory that definitely should have come up more in dialogue: his longstanding relationship/friendship with miranda; his frustration at the way commander shepard was ignored by the council and her efforts for humanity quickly forgotten
so that’s the stuff i like/i think has potential. as far as the glaring problems...
1) like i said, his coldness - the way he will absolutely shut down if you try to get him to open up to you. that’s fine at first, but what a missed opportunity for a romance arc where he allows himself to be vulnerable around you. instead he remains a brick wall for the entire time you know him
2) everything involving ronald. WHY would they waste dave fennoy like that. bioware said “let’s give our only black squadmate a deadbeat dad. not only that, let’s make the deadbeat dad the leader of a backwater sex cult”. ok.
3) the lack of reciprocity in the relationship. maybe this is a rehash of point 1, but watching the romance back it just gets to me how jacob never initiates a single...like..thing...ever...he doesn’t ask how you’re doing after tough missions, he doesn’t get you gifts, you never get a single word of affirmation. there’s those lines “when you look at me, you’ll know how i feel about you. i don’t think i could hide it at this point” and “i won’t have to say it. you’ll feel it in everything i do”....which i think are genuinely very sweet, except that there’s nothing whatsoever backing them up. we keep getting lip service about how much he cares, but nothing to demonstrate it. shepard will just have to learn telepathy i guess
4) do i need to say it? the fact that out of every romanceable squad member across three games, he is the ONLY one who will actively cheat on you (under certain definitions of the word), and not only that, he will be expecting a baby with brynn. and he will tell you about the beautiful proposal he has planned for her. and brynn will want to name the baby after you. every planet has aligned, all the fates are spitting in your face for ever being a big enough idiot to romance jacob taylor. it feels like punishment on the part of the writers and there’s absolutely NO need for it. not to mention that since jacob IS the only black squad member in the trilogy, him being the only one to step out sends a VERY pointed message.
so - like you said, in broad strokes - how i’d plot out the romance is probably something like this
I. you meet jacob on the station; not much is different. he’s mostly concerned that shep is up and walking around before she should be, tries to be as reassuring as possible given that this woman barely knows where she is or what’s happening. nothing really divergent from canon yet
II. shepard’s first few visits to him in the armory are pretty much just preamble; he’s convinced she’s only really doing status checks on her crew out of a sense of duty, so he’s cordial, but distant. he starts to ask shepard about her personal history (whether that’s akuze, mindoir or the skyllian blitz); admits it’s weird being around her in person after knowing her from vids and headlines. he’s not comfortable talking very much about himself at this point
III. eventually he starts to tell shep about his time as a corsair (essentially a black ops unit for the alliance) and the mess on the citadel with the batarian bioweapon; she can react with admiration, say something like he should be famous in his own right! and he’ll shoot her a half-smile, “i’m good, shepard. i don’t want to see my face on any alliance recruitment posters anytime soon. but thank you.”
IV. i think it’s still appropriate for shepard to be the one to eventually express interest, given that jacob is on his guard re: the whole cerberus thing, and her being his CO - and he could still prefer to take it slow, offer to go out for drinks, but i think it works better if he responds with more enthusiasm, instead of acting like he’s signing on for a tedious mission.
V. i want a lighthearted scene of jacob and shepard actually getting drinks on the citadel, or even just in that weird little bar on the ship, and to learn something about him. not his service record. something silly like he really vibes w this obscure asari country-dubstep fusion band fuck if i know, or he secretly sings, or he misses having real food on board because he loves baking, like. SOMETHING. shepard has the option to confess something equally ridiculous back to him like... she ate an entire thing of elmers glue at age 8 and liked it. i just. cannot stress how badly the jacob romance is lacking for silliness.
VI. his loyalty mission - yeah his dad can come along for the ride but ronald taylor is not a runaway father and he most ASSUREDLY is not the leader of a sex cult, he’s just like. a dad. done. but idfk, i think the conflict itself should be something that deeply affects him, like they attempted in the game, but no weird sex cult nonsense. idk. maybe he has an old L2 biotic friend who committed suicide after the whole debacle about reparations for L2s? i know theres more than enough biotic angst in this series already im just spitballing. but it’s not a loyalty mission if it doesn’t give the character something to brood about and lay the foundation for a juicy dialogue tree back on the ship
VII. when you come back to the normandy, jacob is obviously upset (and i think he’s allowed to show it; idk why they had him be so emotionally repressed when they had adam lazarre white who is more than capable of handling whatever angsty lines they might have written), and a romanced shepard/one with high approval has the option to hug him. please let me hug him bioware.
VII. the next time shep comes to the armory he doesn’t say a word. he stops what he’s doing, crosses his arms and looks at her with that same inscrutable half-smile. obviously shepard is like, “...what?” and he chuckles to himself. “i spent two years guarding you while cerberus rebuilt you - sometimes i forget what a goddamn miracle it is that you’re walking and talking and laughing.” and then he’s not smiling anymore. “...and i think of how much it matters to me that you keep walking, and talking, and laughing.” he’ll keep waffling (here might be where he says that stuff about, “the guys in boot camp used to say the first one to drop the l-bomb loses”). shepard will have a paragon QTE to interrupt him with a kiss.
VIII. before the suicide mission he’ll come to shepard’s quarters, and whatever dumb thing he confessed in scene V is going to come back to bite him in the ass, ie if he told shep about his love for the asari dolly parton tribute band, shepard will have a tape of their greatest hits ready, or if he said that he sings, shep will ask him to sing something, etc etc. there’ll be a lot of laughing. after a while jacob will go quiet and shepard will have the option to nudge him.
“hey,” she says.
-”what?”
“i love you.”
-”oh. hell,” he’ll say. “hell. i guess that means i win.” and, laughing, he’ll add: “you do this shit on purpose, don’t you?”
(probably that segues into the obligatory sex scene with a double entendre about ‘winning’)
IX. after the suicide mission, if you find him again in the armory, the first thing he says is “you too.” shepard is like ??? and he clarifies: “i love you too. it would have killed me if one of us got hurt and i hadn’t said it.” AND (i actually think this should have been a discussion you have with every romance option) you discuss what’ll happen now, maybe not specifically that shepard intends to turn herself in, but her going rogue and working with cerberus was never going to go unpunished. also that MESS in arrival... so i think there should have been a “what does this mean for us” convo in there somewhere - where shepard can ask her LI to stay with her, or say that she can’t clip their wings like that when she doesn’t know what’ll happen. all the me3 fuckery could have been avoided that way.
X. ok if even miranda couldn’t get to shepard while they were under house arrest, i doubt jacob would be able to either, and i think he knows that. but when you meet him in that me3 mission where he’s helping to evacuate the ex-cerberus scientists, he’s so pleased to see shepard again...my dramatic ass wants a reunion kiss when he’s sitting in the base recovering from the gunshot wound, where he’s reassuring her that he’s all right, he’s had worse. he still decides not to join the normandy crew tho and to keep working with the scientists and brynn (as a friend)
XI. a scene where you meet him on the citadel, maybe on the presidium, near the fountains, or somewhere peaceful, and you catch up, get him to tell you in more detail what the past six months were like - maybe you talk about earth? maybe he had family there? and from there he talks about wanting to settle down after the war and have a family, something real, something stable. shepard can ask if there’s any room in that future for her. THIS is where i wanna put that “it’s you. it’s all you” line, as in “you are that future”. renegade shep can tease him and ask what he’d name their kids. he knows exactly what names he wants, either for a boy or a girl, but refuses to tell shepard. maybe after this thing is over.
XII. the arcade scene from citadel is cute as is. i wouldn’t change it except to make it longer and add more schmoopy moments, like maybe shepard can express her surprise at how good jacob is with these kids, ask if there’s anything she can do to help out. a bit at the end where they hit a quiet restaurant together and just sit in each other’s company? im a simple man with simple needs. before shepard boards the normandy that final time, he tells her firmly that she’d better come back, or she’ll never know what he wanted to name their kids.
XIII. ok i have this same gripe with miranda in that shes not there with you in that crucial moment before the final mission. can we have like a video call or a hologram moment or something. i feel like this would be such a good place for a cheesy dialogue like, shepard is breaking down (i can’t win, i can’t be to these people what they want me to be, no one is that strong) and jacob can tell her that he used to see her as this larger than life figure too - he knows where all those people are coming from, but he also knows that shepard is only a person. but this thing is bigger than her; he’s seen it, seen everyone come together to build the catalyst. they’ll win. she doesn’t have to worry, she just has to do her job for one more day and then come home.
XIV. adding onto that, i want a jacob hologram on earth before the last push to the catalyst, and he says it a second time, “i love you,” with just this little telltale crack in his voice.
“i guess that means i win,” grins shepard.
“yeah, you’re going to,” laughs jacob. “jesus, there’s no having a moment with you, is there?”
“we’ll have all the moments you want when i get back.” and she blows him a kiss and shuts off the holo.
