Pre and post workout today. I watched #Transformer and was so inspired by Janae Marie Kroc. Her mental, emotional and physical strength really motivated me to push myself and actually add weights.
After cutting out two antidepressants, I went through a couple months of muscle loss. The withdrawals from the medications made it so that I was insanely nauseous and wasn’t able to eat anything whatsoever. I lost about 25 pounds just changing these meds around. I gave my body the rest I felt like it needed, and wanted to start really slowly so I didn’t try too much at once and hurt myself. Well that was a few months ago and I haven’t really added any weight to what I’ve been doing.
Until today. I added another 40 lbs to the barbell and went for it. And I did it. I was able to squat my ending weight from before the antidepressant switch. This change also made me surpass squatting my body weight. I’m about 118 or 119 pounds and squatted 135. It may not seem like much to most, but it meant a lot to me. Being able to push yourself a little farther and succeed, it’s a really good feeling.
There are a lot of days that don’t go as well. I’ll have a hard time even putting up my warm-up weights. Where I don’t have hardly any energy. And I get down on myself and feel like I failed.
I will fail plenty. Everyone fails. And after I fail, I will learn what needs to be done to overcome my obstacle. I will work harder and I will also be patient with myself. All I can do is work on myself every day and, it’s a hard idea to wrap my head around- not trying to perfect something. No one is perfect. I need to remind myself of all of this. And remind myself that I am still worthy of love, even on days that I fail.
Thanks for reading.
*Also really do recommend watching the documentary Transformer on Netflix.











