Storyline- Army Dreamers by Kate Bush but it's telling the story of the mauraders, specifically from the point of view of Fleamont and Euphemia Potter.
CW- mentions of suicide, death, imprisonment, betrayal, afterworld/life (not any specific kind/religion, my take on a afterlife concept type thing), heavy angst
WC- 1,705
Author's Note- This is a little different then what I normally do, but yolo. Just know I giggled maniacally while creating this brick, and even more when posting it and launching it at you with the missal launcher created simply with the hopes of making y'all cry. I hope this causes you guys just as much pain as it caused me. I recomend listening to Army Dreamers if you haven't already, it is so good and helps you really get the vibe. The rest of the author's note is how I came up with the idea, so feel free to skip. I was scrolling through insta (as I do) and saw an edit with Leaves of the Vine, so I then listened to the whole song on YouTube. Then I thought of Army Dreamers and listened to that, and that made me think of a marauders edit I saw, which sparked the idea for this (the song was on repeat the entire time I was writing this 😅). And if I have to suffer these thoughts, so do you. Anyways, I hope y'all enjoy it! Don't forget to take care of yourselves and give yourselves the love and grace you deserve 💙🩵💙
B.F.P.O (army dreamers)
Mammy’s hero
B.F.P.O.
Mammy’s hero
Euphemia and Fleamont Potter who loved their son James dearly, and they who loved all of his friends aka their adopted children Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Not legally adopted, but in a deeper sense. In a sense that they would have done anything for those kids, their kids. They who would have fought to the moon and back just to put a smile on their faces.
They who took in Sirius when he was finally able to run away from his home, giving him the love and patients he so desperately needed and wanted. They who had the patients of saints when it came to dealing with his moods. When he lashed out over little things because he didn’t know better, because that was the response inflicted onto him. They who had patients when he was moody and gave him nothing but unconditional love when he slammed doors in their faces or when he broke down because he just couldn’t take it.
They who loved Remus for who he was- werewolf and all- and never spoke about it to anyone when they finally pieced it together. They who let him stay at the estate on full moons where they were distant from society and the dangers of accidentally hurting someone. They who never questioned it to his face when he came back covered in scrapes and bleeding. They who just silently patched him up and gave him chocolate because, “A little bit of sweetness will make ya feel better.” A habit he continued to have long after the years he was blessed enough to spend with them.
And they who doted on Peter. Giving him love when he felt unlovable. Giving him courage when he felt cowardice. Giving him hope when he felt hopeless. And picking him up when he fell behind. Fleamont and Euphemia who never doubted for a moment that he could do great things and who told him so anytime he started to doubt it.
And of course they who loved their daring son. The way he could be simultaneously the sweetest yet most mouthy kid ever. The way he cared for people, especially his people, so deeply so entirely that if it wasn’t for the way he got in so much trouble for being reckless you almost would have thought he would be a Hufflepuff. They who did everything for that boy, that blessing in their life. The child that they almost didn’t believe they would be lucky enough to have.
Our little army boy
How sad and scared they were when the first war began, and tension grew even more. How they feared for their daughter in law due to her blood status, how they stressed over their child's safety as he battled with great foes, how they fretted over these three boys who they had come to know as nothing less than theirs. Their sons to protect and watch after, along with their own biological one. All of these precious children, because they couldn’t think of them as anything but their children, who they so desperately wished wouldn’t have to fight in this pointless war.
Is coming home from B.F.P.O
I’ve a bunch of purple flowers
To decorate mammy’s hero
A charm that was placed on the young Potter’s house at the request of Fleamont and Euphemia because their hearts were already weakened with age. They who were unable to help, to fight, or to protect their younger members of the family due to their weakened stage. But whose hearts couldn’t take another bout of stabbing pain that comes with the loss of a loved one. A feeling that they, everyone really, had grown far too accustomed to during the war.
The elder Potters who gave the boys, or self proclaimed marauders, each a jewelry charm of a purple flower because they wanted to recognize just how hard they were fighting. Earrings for Sirius, a necklace for Remus and Lilly, and a bracelet for Peter and James. They who placed a protection charm on them so that it would deflect spells. Because at this point in time they feared that was all they could do.
Mourning in the aerodromes
The weather warmer, he is colder
Euphemia who watched as her husband, the dear love of her life, slowly succumbed to his old age. Who knew long before it happened that his, and her, time was soon coming to an end. But who went to sleep with her life long partner by her side, with a kiss on the cheek and an, “I love you,” whispered into the little space separating them. She who woke up and turned to kiss her lover good morning, only to feel a distinct lack of warmth she may never forget. She who knew just then that his soul had taken off to the comforts of eternal rest.
Four men in uniform
To carry home my little soldier
Euphemia who went through a pain no human should ever have to bear. The pain of seeing the cold lifeless body of her own son, followed so shortly after the departure of her one beloved, being brought before her by Remus, Dumbledoor, Mcgonogall, and Hagrid. She whose screams could be heard in the distance as she took in the sight of James and Lilly, pale and cold and utterly wrong. She who took the hands of her only child, her blessing above all blessings, into her own and felt the stiff lack of heat. Lack of liveliness. She who saw the lack of life in his eyes. The uncharacteristic lack of a smile, the smile that made even the worst of days feel a little bit better.
She who had to bear the feeling of betrayal on top of all of that. The betrayal that Sirius Black was the cause of this pain. That the boy she thought of as her son, the boy she loved unconditionally, the boy she took in and fed was the one who betrayed her and her family by killing her child James, her daughter in law Lilly, and her dear son's best friend Peter all in one night. Euphemia who in that moment couldn’t take it any more. She whose heart simply stopped functioning. Whose body gave up along with her soul. She whose last thought was of her little grandchild, who she so desperately wished she could continue to fight for.
But she who just couldn’t do it anymore.
(What could he do? Should have been a rock star)
But he didn’t have the money for a guitar.
The lovers, Fleamont and Euphemia Potter, who were reunited in the lush comforts of afterlife. Who watched from above as the truth came to them, to Euphemia. Sirius was not the monster she had momentarily thought him to be. A foolish thought really. For this boy had given up his riches, his biological family, his comforts all for the ideals and friends he held so firmly in his heart. They who now have to watch as poor Sirius, who should have gone on to become a famous musician, lies in a prison he doesn’t belong in, all because of the cowardice of Peter.
(What could he do? Should have been a politician)
But he never had a proper education.
Euphemia and Fleamont Potter who now had to watch from above as Remus lost all of the people he truly felt he could call family. They who watched as the boy lost the meaning of life when he lost his friends. Who watched from a place where they could not intervene, where they couldn’t love or dote on the boy as they so desperately wished to, while he stood on ledges and debated doing something he could never undo.
They who had to watch as this boy who should have had such a bright future ahead of him be cast away from job to job. This boy who they knew had the brains and education to become a politician and change the way the world was, be denied any real or lasting job simply because of an accident he had no control of. They who watched him suffer and live a life of self hate and pain because of it.
(What could he do? Should haveBeen a father)
But he never even made it to his 20’s
Fleamont and Euphemia who at least were reunited with their son and daughter in law. A bittersweet reunion. For their child should have been down there, protecting and raising the son of his own. They who despaired over the fact that their child made it to his 20’s and started a family, but never got to truly enjoy it. They who watched as their grandchild went on to live a horrid life with people who hardly recognized him as human.
What a waste, army dreamers
Euphemia and Fleamont who watched as their grandchild went through horror after horror. Who watched as the second pointless war began once more causing more pain and destruction. They who watched as Sirius was hit with a spell and fell into the veil. Euphemia who finally had the chance to apologize for all he went through, and for doubting him. And she who was returned the unopologetic love she had once given the boy. Fleamont and Euphemia who watched every second of what was happening in the war. They who watched and prayed to any gods listening that their loved ones down on earth would find peace and comfort. They who watched as Remus finally met the fate he so secretly craved for. And they who greeted him with love and tears. They who loved on and welcomed the fallen Weasley child to the afterlife like he was their own grandchild, as a thank you to the Weasleys for being so kind to their Harry. And they who watched as the world finally began to heal, their grandchild and his friends doing great things for the sake of healing this war broken place.
Ooh, what a waste of army dreamers
What a waste of dreamers, life, children and time.
grr sorry im thinking about about internalized homophobia but like
im thinking about wolfstars dynamic of physical touch being a form of *comfort* before being a form of *love*
and having feelings for each other throws them entirely because any sort of closeness is almost inherently out of the need to be there for each other
like i dont know how to fully describe it but its like something so beautiful that should be built on love is built on pain and thats what makes the loving so intense but as if being gay isnt enough of a challenge its like another wall that they have to break down before things can feel okay
currently BAWLING like UGLY SOBBING at 1:30 at night over a tiktok POV i saw on pinterest (i don't actually have tiktok 🧍)with that "girl harmonizing w her fan" audio over a video captioned "its just a girl harmonizing w her fan- yes it is. but its lily evans humming to calm her crying son down, with tears streaming down her face. knowing her husband is downstairs, dead. and she, and her baby, are going to me next."
ohhhh my god. oh my god. oh my fuucking gof holy shit auUSGSGSGSGSBBAABNANAJAJAANJAJEJDDJOF
Mentions: Sexual innuendos, cursing, slut-shaming, Affairs/Adultery, Lying, Deceit
A/N: It’s an AU, basically where James and Lily don’t end up together, and the War ends before they graduate. Snape and Peter don’t become death eaters IG but that doesn’t really matter later on. Unedited, but it’s the last day of August so I gotta get it in NOW.
Pairings: James Potter x Reader, James Potter x Lily Evans, (future) Lily Evans x Reader
~~~
Y/N
*
Salt air
*
You and your boyfriend of two months are sitting on the shoreline of the shared beach near your houses. You’ve lived in the same neighbourhood for as long as you can remember, but never really noticed each other until your formative years. And the chemistry was undeniable, which is what led you to that precise moment.
“Hey, James… What do you think is going to happen when we go away for school?” you ask meekly.
Being a Beauxbaton student is as luxurious as it sounds. You never have to put up with brutish and grotesque boys in pissing contests, and while there may be catty classmates, there’s no fighting over boys. No heartbreak. No major drama.
That being said, that didn’t mean that none of you had boyfriends. You all had your fair share of suitors from Durmstrang or Hogwarts or some other school in the country. And yours was James Potter.
He is the epitome of a perfect boyfriend. He remembers small dates, like the exact day your cat died, and knows exactly what you need.
You don’t think you’ve loved anyone as much as you’ve loved him.
And that’s precisely why you’re so afraid to lose him.
You knew that the long distance between you would be difficult. What started as a summer fling quickly became something more, and James changed from a friend who could make you laugh your guts out to the boy that makes your heart sing.
He has his arms wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, and you know exactly what he’s thinking. The distance isn’t going to change my love for you.
But he doesn’t realize that it’ll change the amount he can express. And that’s going to be frustrating. You’ve only been together for a little while. So how would this even work?
“We just have to trust each other, darling. I love you, and you love me. That’s all that matters.”
“But James-”
“No buts,” he states stoically. “Nothing is going to change this. You just need to trust me, trust that this is going to work.”
James
*
And the rust on your door
*
He had told you exactly what he meant. That he loved you, and that you could trust him. He knew that he loved you, and that love had taken root in the deepest part of his heart. So when he opened the door to Sirius, Remus, and Peter’s room, since he would not be staying here this year, he not only felt excitement for the new year but sheer happiness at the fact that he had found someone who loved him as unconditionally as he loved her. He did feel some remorse that he wouldn’t be staying with his gaggle of mates though.
“Mate, what’s that grin on your face for? Haven’t gotten in any trouble without us, have you?”
Apparently, James’ inner monologue reflected on his face because all his friends were made aware of the grin on his face.
“No, I just…”
He’d managed to keep the relationship a secret from Sirius that summer because you didn’t want the already confusing relationship to be found out by the Wizarding World. For reporters to make it more convoluted and twisted than it actually was.
“I’m just glad to be back,” he says, deciding he needs to discuss with you if he could tell his friends about your relationship just yet.
*
I never needed anything more
*
When he saw Lily in classes the next day, a pang swam through his chest. He didn’t see her yesterday on the train. He wasn’t focusing on that. But now he was. He noticed that her red hair had been cut short to her shoulders and that she appeared much more confident. Her school blouse had the first two buttons popped, showing just the slightest bit of rosy cleavage.
No.
He had promised you that you could trust him, and you could. He knew you could. He was going to be the man that you deserved. Lily was in the past. Lily was a speed bump on his path to finding true love with you.
But why did the way he felt about Lily now feel as strongly as it did before?
And it didn’t help any when she waltzed up to his desk and straightened her arms right in front of his face, pushing out her chest, and making his lust and sexual drive soar. He was sure it was evident. That he’d broken out in a sweat, but he attempted to play it off as cool as an Autumn day.
“Hello James,” she greeted. “How was your summer?”
He gulped. In front of his eyes was a woman, the woman that he had wanted so desperately. He didn’t know her intentions, but he knew his thoughts. And if you could see his thoughts, could hear them… he knew you wouldn’t be pleased. He knew you’d realize that you’d been right in not trusting him. “Summer was fine, Lily-flower. And you? Hang around with Snivelly, any?”
“No, we haven’t talked since the end of last year. But I’m thinking that this is more room for opportunity, to make new friends, see the light, you know?” she grinned and it lit up his heart.
“So, I was talking to Remus, and he told me that I should give you a chance to be one of those new friends,” but the way she said friends implied something more. “And at first, I objected, and then I realized, I never really gave you much light in my eyes. Do you think you could change that, Jamesie?”
And fuck, if that didn’t make his heart race a little.
Lily
*
Whispers of "Are you sure?"
*
Lily and James were kissing passionately and furiously as they stumbled into her bedroom. Since becoming head girl, she had gotten her own dorm room. James had also gotten one, but Lily didn’t want to see how messy that room was.
She moved her hands from in between their two bodies and picked up her wand to cast several different nonverbal charms.
When she was done, she pushed James down onto the bed and began tearing off her clothes. And then his. When she was done and they were lying beside each other he muttered a final “are you sure?” to her, and she nodded. He kissed her with ferocious passion until the kiss became something more.
This happened again, again, again.
*
"Never have I ever before"
*
When James left Lily’s room for the fourth time that month, she pressed two fingers to her lips in reaction to his goodbye kiss.
“I’ve never felt this way about James. About anyone,” she thought.
He made her feel alive, he made her grin, he made her giggle, and he made her heart flutter when he was around her. Of course, she knew this when she approached him. She just didn’t think it would escalate to this level so soon.
She wants to shout to the world the way she feels about him, the way he makes her feel. How he can take her breath away and make her feel like the most important and most special girl on the planet.
Like she was made just and entirely for him, and that the same applied for him to her.
She couldn’t stop her wild dreams, the ones of vivid love and passion, the ones where he would kiss her, take her hand, and profess his love in grand displays. Where he’d fight for her and never leave her.
Fantasy and delusion never left her mind when it came to him.
*
Your back beneath the sun
*
He and she both lie underneath the sun, soaking up its rays, sharing its warmth, staring at the clouds trying to make out certain shapes.
It was a sunny December day, which was rare, so they were getting as much out of it as they could.
“James, we should study,” she lightly approached the devastating topic. “It’s not like I really want to, but what kind of example are we setting as head boy and girl?”
“Well, If we go back up to our dorms, nobody will know if we’re studying or doing something else,” he said with a wriggle of eyebrows.
“No, James!” she laughs, and he joins her. His pearly teeth both ensnaring her mind and rendering her unable to focus on anything but him.
“When’s the next Hogsmeade trip?” he asked casually while he laid back down with his head facing the sky.
“Most likely before the holidays.”
She saw his face contort when she mentioned the Christmas break.
“James, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing, I’m just thinking about… the war.” His face was pale, and his face sour.
“I’m thinking of joining the order after I graduate, but it’s still scary, you know. I’m worried about my mum and dad.”
“Your parents are going to be fine, James,” she assured him, but she knew he would be fully relieved until the war was over and all death eaters were locked up.
*
Wishin' I could write my name on it
*
She was sitting with Remus in the library when he brought up James. Let the record show that he brought up James, not her.
“So, how is everything going with James?”
She sighed lightly. “It’s magic, Remus. Pun intended.”
He chuckled. “I’m glad you feel that way, Lily. Really, he’s a good guy once you get past that facade he puts on. I knew you’d like him.”
“Yes,” she says faintly. Doubts flood her head about his own feelings.
“What’s wrong, Lily?”
Her eyes turn down to her paper before reaching up again to meet his. “It’s silly, but… sometimes I wonder if he truly feels the same. I mean, most people don’t harbour feelings for one person for this long. What if all along it was just lust, and he’ll cast me away now that he’s satisfied that urge.”
“Lily, I promise you, James has had eyes for no one but you for many years. I highly doubt that it was lust, James isn’t like that.”
“You know,” she smiled. “You’re right. I just wish this didn’t have to be kept so hush-hush. The amount of girls I see fawning over him is grotesque.”
“So then ask him,” he pushed.
She took that as a challenge. “Alright. I will!”
*
The next time Lily saw James, they immediately rolled into bed and did what lovers do. But after that is when she posed the question.
“James, would we- will we ever be able to make this public?” she asked in a stern voice.
She saw thoughts swimming in his head for a moment.
“Lily,” he rolled onto his side. “We- I… This needs to be a secret for now. I mean, we are waist-deep into this war, and with my plans to go into the order, I can’t risk anyone coming after you.”
His logic made sense to her, and the wizarding world would get too caught up with the son of a prestigious wizard family being with a muggle-born in the middle of all of this.
He was right, she just had to swallow her jealousy for now.
*
Will you call when you’re back at school
*
The next week, there was a Hogsmeade trip, and despite them staying near the Marauders, really, it was a date for James and Lily. Or at least that’s what it felt like. An unofficial date.
They bought each other gifts to open over the holidays, kissed discreetly under mistletoes, and held hands while walking through the village.
When they went to get butterbeer for the rest of the group, there was a long but comfortable silence for a while.
“So what are you doing for the holidays?”
“Just going back home, maybe making some treats with my mum,” he said casually. “What about you?”
“Same as you, I guess. I’ll miss you, though.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
She tapped her foot absentmindedly as they waited. “What if I came with you?”
“What?” Panic flooded his face. “No, you couldn’t come with me, I’m afraid. My house is an Order safe place. If a death eater found it, you could be in danger.”
“You’re in danger just being there.”
“And you’re in danger by just breathing, Lily! That would be a double danger. I’m not risking that.”
She cringed at her sudden need to be close to him. “Right, sorry. It was a silly idea. A mindless thought.”
His face softened when he saw her embarrassment. “I’d love to bring you home, Lily, but it’s not safe.” But by now she could tell that he was lying, there was something more.
*
I remember thinkin' I had you
*
On the train back from London going to Hogwarts, Lily sat with Marlene and Dorcas, she hadn't seen them quite as much as she would’ve wanted since the school year started, and now was the perfect opportunity.
Lily felt remorse and guilt for not telling her friends about such a crucial part of her life, her relationship with James Potter, and truly she wanted to, but what if they judged her? And Marlene has had a reputation for having a loudmouth. What if she said something and word got out?
They conversed in idle gossip before an interesting topic was brought up. One that left Lily infuriated, and ready to murder a smug bastard.
“Have you heard about Potter and that Beauxbaton girl?”
Her eyes raised in curiosity and scorn. “What Beauxbaton girl?”
Dorcas revealed as much as she knew about you to Lily, your name, family, status in the Wizarding World. By the time she was done, Lily was struck with disbelief.
“And you’re sure they were kissing?” she said in response to Marlene’s information about the article in the Daily Prophet with a picture of them kissing.
“Yes!” she exclaimed.
“I have the article right here,” Dorcas mentioned.
“Way to bury the lead.”
“Oh shush,” she said and handed Lily the newspaper out of her bag.
She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. The man she had been with for the past four months was kissing another woman. With Tongue.
“Well, that’s fantastic for him,” she said sourly. “He must feel so proud to have gotten a pretty girlfriend after pining after me for so long. I wonder how long it’ll be before he tries pining after me again,”
“Who knows, maybe it is serious,” Dorcas proposed.
Lily growled. “I don’t think it’s that serious if he’s sleeping with another woman.”
Marlene’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean-”
“Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” she said before exiting the cabin of the train and heading to find James Potter.
“So,” she said when she reached his compartment. “How long have you been seeing her?”
James looked shocked to see her. “Lily, I can explain.”
“Can you? Please explain then. Is this why I couldn’t come with you? Why you had to keep us a secret James? For Godric’s sake, how long have you been seeing her?”
He gulped. “Since the summer.” Even Sirius looked shocked.
“I lived in your house, and you didn’t tell me, mate?”
“Not the time,” Peter chastised.
“Are you serious James? You spouted all of that you love me bullshit when you were with someone else?” Her eyes radiated anger. It was like staring into the mouth of an actively-fire-breathing dragon. “Does she know about me?”
“No, she doesn’t,” he admitted.
Lily said one more sentence before stalking away. “Well, you better tell her, or I will.”
*
But I can see us lost in the memory
*
Lily had no intention of telling you anything. She didn’t even know you. How would she send an owl to a total stranger and tell them that their boyfriend has been cheating on them with herself?
Lily never set out to be a homewrecker. But she didn’t even know she was wrecking a home, to begin with.
This was James’ fault, and he was going to own up to it.
Besides, It deserved to come from him. Lily knew how she felt about being told that she was the other woman from some outside source, and she didn’t want to do that to anyone at all.
But not even the sting of betrayal could mask the ever-flowing sadness that emanated from Lily. She truly believed he was in love. And maybe he was. Just not with her. And that was okay, but she didn’t deserve what she was put through.
Still, that doesn’t stop the fact that she, herself, was in love with him, and how is she supposed to ever get over that betrayal.
*
August slipped away into a moment in time- 'Cause it was never mine
*
Within the next few months, Lily had fallen into a rut. Her grades began slipping, her mood and cheeriness faltered. Even though the Wizarding World War had recently been won, with death-eaters being locked away, that didn’t change her mood, because she wasn’t in the mood to celebrate, to begin with. Her friends noticed her down-in-the-dumps aura, and despite knowing the cause, and how it wasn’t their fault, they couldn’t help but want to help her, to fix her.
But no one could repair the damage that James Potter caused to Lily but Lily herself. And that started with making amends.
“I have to send a follow-up letter to that girl. So I’ll ask you. Have you told her yet?” She cornered James in the library because, despite Head Boy and Head Girl duties, they didn’t see each other much. After all, he was avoiding her as much as she was avoiding him.
He gulped, “I haven’t. Lily, I can’t tell her. It would kill her, she was so worried about the distance and when she saw me at Christmas break, she was so happy. I don’t want to ruin that.”
“You should’ve thought about that before you started an affair with me, James. An affair I didn’t agree to. I didn’t want to be anybody's mistress. And she deserves to know, and I am going to send her a letter. Today! So if you don’t tell her, she will find out from me. I’ve given you months.”
“Lily, don’t do this. Please. I can’t tell her over an owl. It has to be in person.”
She faltered. He was right. His heart may have been in the wrong place, but his head is in the right one. Doing that, telling you over an owl could have devastating consequences. It was a discussion that had to be had in person.
“Easter Break. That is your chance, James Potter. After that, If you don’t I will.”
She turned on her heel and was about to leave the library when he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
“Lily, you have to understand, I never meant to hurt you,” he said. “I have fancied you for so long, and when you finally reciprocated this year, I didn’t want to pass up that chance. I was wrong. You are so amazing, and I shouldn’t have done what I did, but please believe this. You deserve so much, and I couldn’t and could never give that to you, but when I did this, I never meant to hurt anyone. I didn’t think it would go this far.”
She scoffed. “Well, it did, James. You hurt me. You betrayed me, and you betrayed her. Neither of us deserved that, no matter what.”
*
And I can see us twisted in bedsheets
*
Guilt twisted in her stomach every time she thought of you. Jealousy was surely a stage at first, everything about you had her enchanted, your hair, your eyes, your glowing skin. She was enthralled, and she could see why James was too.
And then she remembered his nights in her dorm, on her bed. Tossing and turning with her, his lips on her mouth, and she didn’t feel envy. She felt regret and culpability. If she had pressed James harder about whether his feelings really were the same as before, if he’d really wanted to do this, maybe he wouldn’t have done it.
And then she wouldn’t be in this position, and you wouldn’t be about to come crash-landing on impact with this heavy, and taboo truth.
But this wasn’t about her, Lily realized. This was about you. And how you were going to feel once James told you what happened when the train meets the station, and that is all Lily can think of as she sits on her bed, staring out of her window. When her owl knocks on the window to deliver her mail, the headline of the Daily Prophet is what catches her eye. “The Prodigal son in an affair with a Muggleborn witch!” It goes on and on about how a secret inside source heard an argument between the two of them in the Hogwarts library.
There is no doubt that you have seen this, and James didn’t get to tell you. Lily didn’t get to apologize to you. This just got a whole lot worse, and Lily didn’t know how she was going to deal with the sudden turn of events.
James is the villain here, she reminded herself. James is in the wrong, but she knew that she was still an unwitting accomplice. And her gut wrenched as she pondered on that very true fact.
*
August slipped away like a bottle of wine
*
Lily had to get away from the wizarding world, so although she didn’t plan on going home for the Easter holiday, she had to now.
She was being shamed for her insidious relationship with James, by certain people, mostly Snape and his friends, that bastard. Most everyone was supportive, they realized she had no idea about your relationship, but she was still worried about what you’d say to James, but more about what’d you’d say about her.
Had James told you that she didn’t know? That he lied to both of you. Would you be mad at her either way?
Shame pulsed through her body, and she couldn’t imagine what her mother would say when she told her if she ever did.
Though when she got home, her mother instantly noticed that something was wrong.
Knowing she couldn’t take her mothers knowing stares and hard gaze, she instantly confessed to everything that happened over the semester. Her mother didn’t judge her for having premarital sex as Lily thought she would, but rather comforted her daughter and reassured her. “If James is a half-decent person, he will tell her that you did nothing wrong, and she won’t be mad at you, Lily dear.”
Her mother's reassurance helped, but her rose bush of worry wouldn’t be clear of its thorns until she spoke with you.
*
'Cause you were never mine
*
When the break was over, and Lily was about to board the train station to the red engine that is the Hogwarts Express, someone was waiting for her at the door to the train.
“My train doesn’t arrive until later,” you say plainly. “I wanted to get here earlier though, to speak with you.”
Lily feels like she’s breaking out in hives under your eyes, and it’s not a good feeling.
“James told me about how you didn’t know about me, how you wanted him to tell me sooner, didn’t want me to find out from tabloids like you did.” You smiled at her.
“It really hurt me when I found out. I didn’t want you to feel that way, but you still deserved to know. I’m just sorry you found out like that anyway.”
“James already boarded the train, but I wanted to let you know we’re no longer together if you still wanted to be with him,” you said meekly.
Lily’s eyes grew to the size of saucers. “Godric, no! He’s a git.”
You laughed.
“I know we may not be able to be friends, but maybe it’ll be better if we work through all of this together, all three of us,” Lily proposed.
“Yes, individually, dually, all together, doesn’t matter, it needs to be resolved.”
Lily sighed a breath of relief. “Somehow, I feel lighter.”
“Me too.”
As Lily was about to board the train, you called out to her. “Lily!”
She whipped her head to face you. “We can be friends if you’d like, you know.”
That made Lily smile, and honestly, it made her heart bloom with a vague, but familiar feeling.
