#maxzb asks

[maxz-b]

sam is trying to get people into shipping him and misa so they get as popular as willmack, his whole behavior and charme is calculated and fake. you can see proof in older videos also what his former team- and classmates say about him

ive been staring at this for eighteen hours now and i cant decide if youre tapped into a wave of rpf so advanced it makes you delusional or im actually receiving sam dickinson themed hate-mail.

you just cannot handle the truth of the matter which is that this man has more natural charm and charisma in his pinky than the willmack industrial complex as a whole :) and either way if he was trying to yaoi-bait he wouldve kissed misa on the mouth by now hope this helps

also just. this guy? THIS guy?

Edit: sam dickinson is not yaoi-baiting you. willmack are not yaoi-baiting you. the stripper does not love you.

[maxz-b]

delly and mush like 👁️👁️ scaring off their opponents

making these genuinely the first thing to calm me down since i started finding out about All The Trades™

[maxz-b]

were you there for the height of mtkachuk rpf posting? what was it like?

i dont know if i was truly there at the height of it and i obviously can only speak for the specific corner of tumblr that was showing up on my dash but man. i dont think i can overstate just how much this man was hockeyblr bbygirl of the month every month all the time forever. he was hot and insane and had daddy issues and curly hair with racing stripes shaved into the sides! he was charming and funny! he had the sauce! he was never going to die! everyone seemed to be cheering for him in 2024! the panthers were scrappy and fun and everyone loved them! and he was just so shippable. everywhere and with everyone. one look into the ao3 tag will tell you that it is very rare for an inter-team “rival” ship to get big but mattdrai was absolutely huge. it was everywhere. the narratives were crazy. remember that interview where he was like “as for the other thing i can’t answer that or he’ll get mad at me”? what the fuck was up with that. why did he say that.

part two of this is probably the woke elephant in the room. when people on here, a mostly queer or queer-friendly space, get really invested in a guy they want him to be an ally so badly. theyre in love with the stripper and spending all their money on her. side note this happened with nolan patrick back in the day who got woke-fied in fic and fan spaces so much. rent-lowering burner accounts or whatever. people want to believe the athlete they support is a good person so they latch onto things like pride tape usage or stray quotes about how everyones welcome in the locker room. (think those posts when the san jose sharks had their pride night this past season and people posted them using the rainbow tape captioned “the stripper loves me”. No she doesnt. unless youre looking at a tyler toffoli or alex wennberg who actually participate in pride events on a regular basis etc the stripper has never critically thought about you in his life and was raised in an overwhelmingly conservative male-dominated space.)

anyways. where was i going with this. i used to go on here and see posts confidently telling me that matthew tkachuk is the one singular democrat in family and that he hates his evil dad who keeps setting him up with women even though hes gay. tragic stuff but he was just so likable! and his and brady’s childhood and upbringing in the big walt household does sound like it was an abusive environment. you want a guy to escape a cycle just as much as you want him to be a role model and someone you wont have to feel bad about supporting.

anyways. rent lowering trump golf course instagram story followed by very public and highly publicised maga turn-around. transphobia. back to back cups crushing edmonton and canada’s cup hopes. olympic gold. despicable and deeply misogynistic podcast. at least hes still kinda hot 👍

[maxz-b]

Are Willeno back together or nah? lol. I’m very confused.

theyre broken up and theyre also married. theyre barely friends. theyre brothers. do you understand?

okay serious answer id say theyre definitely still friends but the sort of willgabe + leno on the outs dynamic we know was present back in bc is an actual real rift now. will and leno and their social circles are and likely will always be so so intertwined (even if purely by virtue of the vote-smith-leonard cohabitation era) that theyre never going to go no-contact ex-friends etc., but i would say that leno is NOT in wills inner circle anymore. there has to have been some kind of argument or conflict as we know from those podcast comments (im not getting out the link rn but youve surely seen them. edit: its in the replies now) but theyre also clearly still friends or in the same friend group enough to be hanging out at marmon or playing pickleball (was that the sport? with the smith family tournament last summer or whatever?) together and grabbing dinner when they play each other. so who knows really.

were they ever together? who’s to say. did they break up? certainly and most definitely. are they back together? No. are they gonna trade drunk handies in wills bedroom over the fourth of july? probably.

[maxz-b]

beloved mutual. dedicated rookiefucker. please tell me you also see the mild fanboy behaviors of one ivar stenberg regarding macklin celebrini as something to start a rumor about rather than a familal relationship. please I can’t be alone in this

beloved anonymous mutual. i am more than with you here.

“ivar stenberg is wllmcks son 💗” this “another baby shark for the fambily” that. Ivar Stenberg found out the sharks were drafting second overall and jerked off to a mackbrini highlight compilation then came so hard he blacked out for a minute. that boy chose the same custom tailor as mack for his draft suit because thats basically like wearing his clothes and that made his dick hard. he has big eyes and a pretty face and someone needs to cum on that, right? right?? what was i even talking about

time for another mackbrini maternity coke rant. every time someone calls him ivars mother i want to hit things with a hammer that boy has no maternal instincts in him at ALL and he does! not! want! to parent a rookie. in his rookie year his best friends on the team beside will were old ass chopped and unc tyler toffoli and fucking delly. he said fuck them kids from the bottom of his heart and is only now walking it back so people will think giving him the C isnt the worst idea ever. everyone get less nuclear family pilled and more into rookiefucking NOW

[maxz-b]

ekky could have been having an inner world of turmoil at the pitbull concert!! i kind of think that would be a very stressful place to have an existential crisis actually

pov you're a swedish hockey player who looks a little bit like he should be at home in santas workshop and your whole life has just been upended but you're currently surrounded by thousands of people wearing bald caps. mister worldwide himself is performing hotel room service. and at that very moment in time your ex situationship is going on record to tell the world that you will be sharing a bed. As brothers

[maxz-b]

top 5 lenoisms of All Time

- dykeleno

after careful consideration i have come up with my list

his girlfriend looks like his sister. cannot be stated enough how funny that is.

crosses himself on his way out onto the ice… cross necklace in mouth….

when he talked about his bronco during the mic’d up rookie(?) video

blowing kisses to the swedish crowd during world juniors.

recency bias talking here but being the only one left out of the matching costumes at marmon. girl who can never escape dog thoughts dot jpg.

and not leno himself but when his dad went “where’s mommy moving to?” @ will during the draft that was cunt

[maxz-b]

https://www.tumblr.com/maxz-b/815319954726469632/sam-is-trying-to-get-people-into-shipping-him-and

This feels like a newer, eviler evolution of what some willmack shippers have been saying for months now -- that willmack are watching ship edits on tiktok and intentionally marketing themselves and their friendship to appeal to HR fangirls and shippers, all for the purpose of selling jerseys or something. I never imagined that poor Sam would get twisted into a villain though LMAO

it really does feel like a branch of that phenomenon and i hate it! like i can guarantee you that will, mack and previously uninvolved Sam Dickinson don’t think about you. theyre not watching ship edits and if they were theyd be grossed out because rpf shipping is a weird thing to do! which we need to remember!

i also feel like the theory of them intentionally baiting their fanbase with shipping content is part of a larger problem of parasociality particularly in sharks/wm spaces that borders and easily crosses over into tin-hatting territory. the idea that there is something to be observed, be that an elaborate campaign to sell jerseys with the power of yaoi or a hidden gay relationship fundamentally crosses the bounds of rpf by denying the Fiction part of it.

anyways. cement dog.