The Library Incident
*Been needing to do this for some time now, thank you for your patience @apple4me 😅 (sorry been busy with school finals/tests whatever you call it)*
Tim sets up surveillance on May because he’s being paranoid, only to accidentally become the unwilling audience to Jason Todd trying to flirt with a girl he actually likes.
Tim is sat hunched over his screen, caffeine in hand, analyzing footage from the miniature surveillance cameras he’d covertly placed around Gotham’s library when May Parker started working there.
Tim (focused, typing rapidly): “Surveillance on Parker is active. No anomalies so far, but I’m keeping a close eye on her route between the kid section and the front desk.”
Tim (mutters to himself): “Let’s see what you’re hiding, Miss Parker…”
But instead of criminal activity, he got—Jason Todd. Hovering awkwardly near the reference desk.
Jason (hands in jacket pockets): “So… uh… got any new crime novels in?”
May (without looking up): “Same shelf as last time, Mr. Todd”
Jason (nods too quickly): “Right, yeah, just… making sure you hadn’t moved them.”
May (smirking slightly): “Not since yesterday. Or the day before. Or the twelve times you’ve asked this week.”
Jason (grinning like an idiot): “You keepin’ track?”
May (teasing): “I’m a librarian. It’s kind of my whole thing.”
Tim blinked. Fast-forwarded. Found more footage.
The more footage:
Jason (arms full of books he absolutely won’t read): “I thought maybe I could help you reshelve. Team effort?”
May (dryly): “You put ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ in nonfiction.”
Jason: “…Listen, caterpillars are real, okay?”
Tim groaned, dragging his hands down his face.
Dick (walking by, glancing at the monitor): “Wait… is that Jason?”
Tim (grimacing): “Yeah. He keeps dropping by the library pretending to ‘return’ books he never actually checked out. And look at him, he just knocked over an entire display rack of Shakespeare.”
Jason (on screen): “So like… uh. Do you like… Hamlet? Or are you more of a Macbeth girl? I mean—woman. I mean—May.”
May (smiling, clearly amused): “I’m more into Othello. Tragedies feel more relatable when you’ve lived in Queens.”
Jason: “Right. Totally. Queens. You ever throw hands with someone in a bodega over the last sandwich? ’Cause that’s basically my Romeo and Juliet.”
Dick: “…Oh my god. I knew it!!!! He’s into her!”
Tim (deadpan): “Unfortunately, I know. I’ve had to sit through six hours of him trying and failing to ask her to coffee.”
Log Entry Notes: Day 5
• Jason enters with The Great Gatsby. Returns it with a fake bookmark in the middle.
• Compliments May’s new glasses. Trips over a chair and pretends it was intentional.
• May calls him “charming in a brick wall kind of way.” Jason short-circuits.
• Dick and Tim scream into a pillow.
— Later That Week —
Dick (eating popcorn in front of the monitors): “This is better than The Bachelor. Do you think she knows?”
Tim (groaning): “She definitely knows. She’s just playing it cool. Probably waiting for him to grow a spine.”
Dick: “Do you think we should… help?”
Tim: “If by ‘help’ you mean lock them in the rare books archive and cut the power until they confess, then yes.”
Jason (on screen, nervously holding a coffee): “I thought, maybe, you might want… this? I mean, you said last week you liked cinnamon, and the guy said this one had notes of cinnamon, but now I’m not sure if it’s too much—”
May (taking it gently): “Jason, relax. It’s perfect. So are you… in a chaotic, explosion-prone kind of way.”
Jason (freezes): “Coolcoolcool. Yeah. That’s me. Chaos incarnate. That’s… that’s hot, right?”
Dick (leaning in): “Oh my god, just kiss already.”
Tim: “Do we start a betting pool or an intervention?”
Bonus: Oracle Joins the Drama
Barbara (over comms): “Why are there thirty gigabytes of library footage on the Batcomputer marked ‘For Emotional Damage’?”
Tim: “Jason has a crush on May.”
Barbara: “…I’ll grab popcorn.”
Masterlist