#maybe triggering?

[thelittlebluedruid]

Me, being depressed: I should just dieeee I wish I were deaddddd nobody loves meeeeee maybe I should just dieeeee

My cats: *come up and snuggle with me*

Me: *crying* Fuck... Shit... I can't leave you guys... Goddamn it... LET ME BE SAD IN PEACE!

My cats: *snuggle closer*

Me: I hate how wonderful you two are! *gives in and snuggles back*

[peeing-is-god]

Honestly I've only wanted to spread love and light to pretty much everyone I've known. I still only want that. I just want everyone to be friends and there be no conflict. So sometimes when I think about the friends I've lost (especially the ones who vanish and seem spiteful towards me) it hurts. And sometimes I dont really understand why.

Although othertimes, I completely understand. I can be so unpredictable in a lot of things I do, in a lot of the feelings I feel. I am so quick to panic and I get scared and I know when these things happen I don't know what to do. I'm so sensitive and hypocritical.

I know I can be toxic.. but I thought I was getting better... I am trying hard to get better... I wish I knew why things are this way. I miss having friends. 🤷‍♀️

[treesclapforme]

Keto / Mother of Medusa: 

were you ashamed of your mortal daughter?

/ when she was living

in the utmost place: beyond the night 

/ did you look upon her face?

i wonder,

if you heard about her violation: in the temple

/ & rightly blamed Poseidon for her fate

did you go to her then?

try: to defend her 

/ from Athena’s sightless rage

were you able to take one last look upon her face?

maybe you were there

/ weeping over what was left of her

were witness 

to the birth of Pegasus

/ & the one with the golden sword

born of her blood: your blood

even in death defeating kings--

i must apologise for my examination

us mortal humans are prone: to blame

/ the mother

you, who gave her wings

& brazen claws

who are we: to question

/ the goddesses of the sea

you, who also suffer death & the plundering of men

even your mighty life bearing bodies:  & invincible heads

/ have been used as weapons 

by the gods of men

i think of you: now, as a mother 

myself / a mortal daughter also mistreated

/ & hope that you were able

to look: lovingly upon her face

[smulderscobie]

why am i not dead yet. like, there is no point to me existing. i'm a failure. unlovable. selfish. i'm also a coward apparently, hence why i keep disappointing everyone.

[gettinglost-inthewords]

Recovery

During recovery, they like to tell you about this magical time in the future where things are okay again. Where you’ll enjoy getting up in the morning, or at least you won’t wish you hadn’t woken up. A time that the sun is awe-inspiring and the birds’ morning songs cause your heart to swell with the joy of life.

Sure. That happens. I have gotten there.

The problem comes when I find myself annoyed by those days. Where my chest grasps for the familiarity of the pain because getting through it meant that I had overcome something. It meant I was a warrior. 

Now I just feel... Normal.

Like any other person that gets up to go to work. Like any other person wishes they could hit the snooze one more time or go for a trip with their friends. Like all the work I put in doesn’t show because my scars healed better than other people’s and I don’t “look” like someone who battles the thoughts of an ED every day. 

I was told so many times that my skies would brighten again.  No one told me that the clouds clearing meant that I had to become like everyone else. 

I miss the battle, but if I slip back again I’m not a warrior; I’m a relapse.

[daddys-little-harleyq]

Yaaaayyyy for "fun family Thanksgivings"..... they usually take em down for me... theyre staring through my soul!!!

[freckled-confusion]

Rant-ish?

I sorta want to post my art?? But you know I'm poor af and can't afford a drawing tablet considering we have to either choose between bills and/or food 24/7.. So all of my art is on sketchbook paper. I try to get the best lighting I can but eh- I just want to get some feedback on my art is all, open myself up a bit- You know? Yeah.

[be-damara-blog]

((Is it just me, or does every ones nose bleed at the worst moment?))