>> t i n k e r .

::::: a ll   of   t he se  ar e   th e   t  hin gs   i   do   t o    k e ep   m  ys e l f  :::::  + another side of una henry +

[treesclapforme]

this time of year is pretty brutal for me. it is the anniversary of the many horrible things that happened before & after my brother jumped off of the world. i made a quija board in the winter to talk to him with. i thought it might be more clear than communicating through weather, flickering lights, birds & pendulums. i've used it twice. in the winter he told me "stop needing ghosts" "do art" "do love". i used it again last night. i asked if he was okay, he said "no". i asked if i could help he said "yes". how? "gone. dead. ghost." i asked if i was supposed to say goodbye, to let him go, to stop talking to him. "yes" "gone. dead." "cackle." i said -i know! i know you're dead! if i know you're dead can i still keep talking to you? "yes." i think he was trying to be funny. it got lost at first in my fear that he was telling me i had to stop talking to him entirely-- because how can i do that? though maybe i need to not rely quite so much on his "gone dead ghost" company. i used to think that quija boards were just you talking to your subconscious & maybe it is, but it wasn't until he got to the e in cackle that i realised he wasn't just suddenly scrambling gibberish at me & was making a joke. about 20 years ago Daniel & i used a quija together & talked to a 6 year old named Adele who told us her story in somewhat broken french. we had to use a french english dictionary to understand her. & we believed.

[treesclapforme]

some sins, only trees

can bear the ripening of,

but still never taste.

[treesclapforme]

i thought i would start saving drafts, so that i might stop sending you the random things that fly out of my keyboard or notebooks: the ones that land on me during their less inhibited hours...i’ve caught quite a few in there already.

my concern: i’ve noticed how quickly they grow while trapped in there; even over just these last few days. so many long spindly legs & little hands reaching, i can still hear them when i would much rather be sleeping. some of them have begun dropping long green roots & forming something on themselves that looks to me like algae...anyway, i worry about their comfort. kinks in their necks, their spines softening with not having to stand...and then of course, i will have to tend to them-- but of course i have already begun making other plans...

[treesclapforme]

it was too soon.

too soon,  to share 

my grief

with strangers--

when my own friends

still stare at the ground 

if i speak his name.

too soon,  to think

my limited ability

to write ‘poetry’

could narrate this 

isolation--  

& remain 

standing

alone

in the judgement

of all of this

silence.

[treesclapforme]

anagrams:smargana

i won’t take myself too seriously:

ii w oooo n tt a k eee m yy sss ll f u:

i foretell swoons, your sky it tames

it eat my wet floor tiles-- “no!” you ssk

sly elf, i moot towns. yokel-- it erase.

you like to lout, i frown at messy news

(i.e. your kites fly, my teas to swoon.)

we fussy, seek no toy to moan i trill 

i woo sooty knees, my lies fault stars.

trite key, my fall so soon-- i suit woe

O- soon it is, my own lakes wet to

you, moans sift, woke tits, eyes roll--

see myself oak. T: t’is will not for you?    

 T: my tease soon wool like fur, i

sly to wake my self onus if i root.      

it woke a snow moat lilt for fussy eye-- 

it woke your small moon: sit, seek Yut.

yours t-to swoon yes like life may not.

Tet: my eyes won’t lift us so i look,

still eye swoon, i soak my rote.   

[treesclapforme]

     ...i crawled

back

inside 

        of myself

        it is getting dark 

in here 

       & no one

is looking 

       for me.

[treesclapforme]

seeing yourself whole

only by the light

of others--

but you 

-like 

the 

                            m o o n 

are  

always

f u l l----

whether or not

they choose to look

up, or to name your phases. 

[treesclapforme]

[treesclapforme]

insects calculated dimensions

[treesclapforme]

[treesclapforme]

enthusiastic writing

work

to know the dynamic

not-so-secret

to grab their ear for a brief

moment

[treesclapforme]

[treesclapforme]

visualise form

i imagine something psychedelic

with all the characters

in their respective searching

found in graffiti.

[una-henry]

[treesclapforme]

 <<<<>>><<<<>>><<>><<<>>><<<>>><<>><<<<<>>>

                                 i am cloud level

                        watching our shadows below   

                                       ><<>><

                              we cover mountains.

 ><<<>><<<>><<<>><<<>><<<>><<<>><<<>><<<>><

[treesclapforme]

       although 

       i do believe 

       in the ability

       of beauty 

        to capsize

        i wonder

        that so often

        men have been 

        given to naming

        what they themselves 

        have not designed:

        Cruelty 

        Accident

        Tragedy

        to blaming the songs

        of the sea

        of the wind

        of the bodies 

         that lay

         next to them

        without 

        heeding

        their warnings

         waiting instead for the sirens

         to sing 

         their direction–

         then curse them

         having 

         forgotten

         W e 

         A r e

         A l l  of  Us

         b o u n d

         in birth

         &  f e a r

         of death

            to our lineage 

          this

         W i l d e r n e s s

[treesclapforme]

[treesclapforme]

[una-henry]

[treesclapforme]

 <<<<>>><<<<>>><<>><<<>>><<<>>><<>><<<<<>>>

                                 i am cloud level

                        watching our shadows below   

                                       ><<>><

                              we cover mountains.

 ><<<>><<<>><<<>><<<>><<<>><<<>><<<>><<<>><

[treesclapforme]

this poem-- 

is not a poem.

no, it’s a mope.

i map tones--

i stamp-- No E.O.!!

snoot a mipe,

sit on a mepo.

shit po’ me--

i sat on poem.

[drearydaffodil]

How to restore the fire to A soul lost In hibernation?

[wolfdownthewords]

How to thaw the ice of so many winters?

[drearydaffodil]

Where to find sun When you’re soaked In shadows?

[wolfdownthewords]

Where to chase away shadows but standing  in the brightest light?

[drearydaffodil]

Who can give comfort To someone so broken, Shattered and scarred?

[midnite-ride-deactivated2017071]

Why’s the world So much with us When we’re best without?

[drearydaffodil]

How do you silence The screaming when You’re begging for peace?

[treesclapforme]

How do you injest light, after feeding for so long on shadows?