well, if you come inside (i promise to keep you warm.)
summary: Jason is filthy and you are not. He didn’t dare to taint you like that.
pairing: Jason Todd (Red Hood) x GN!Reader
content warning: Your usual Jason Todd self-deprecating thoughts™
tags: angst with comfort, Jason Todd has issues (clearly), established relationship, sinner metaphors (LOTS OF IT.), religious tones, lots of worshipping (from jason)
word count: 635
listening to: Naruto Themed Sexting by Panucci’s Pizza (LISTEN, U GUYS SHOULD LISTEN TO THIS. NO JOKE.)
↶return back?
Jason still can’t believe you stayed after knowing everything he did.
The first time he told you about it, he expected a look of surprise, disgust, and maybe some uneasiness about what he just told you. Your eyes looked up at him and locked with his gaze. Not with contempt but with something akin to protectiveness, compassion, and understanding.
Your eyes glazed over him – Truly looked at him into his soul – and looked at him as if he’s an angel who’d hold the sun, the moon, and the stars.
Which he’s not used to. Ever.
People usually looked at him with wariness, hesitation, and fear. Not that he blamed them for thinking like this. He had done a lot of morally reprehensible acts in his life and some he’s not even sorry for. For fuck’s sake, he had literally squeezed a man’s life out of this mortal plane. His hands are literally – and figuratively – tainted in red.
He is someone who is not worthy to be near you.
He is a sinner through and through – Absolutely obscene, revolting, and impure. You are not.
You’re like a blessing, gifted from the heavens itself. You are considerate, generous and pure. Someone who shouldn't even be near him at all.
But by the Gods, you make it hard for him to stay away from you.
Every time you touch him, he can feel how soft and electrifying it feels on his skin. Every single touch of your soft fingers make the voices in his head go quiet. God, your gentle embraces too. The way his chin fits perfectly in the nook of your neck, the way your hands soothes the tension out of his aching back and the way he can just settle there, basked in your warm presence. Not to mention your angelic laughs. He can’t just get enough of you.
You plague every single part of his mind. It's addictive. You are just so blatantly magnetic.
Not that he’d ever admitted it out loud. Because if he does, then it’ll show to the world that this is permanent. That you are permanent in his life.
And it’s not that he doesn’t want that. God, he wanted that more than anything.
But… He’d rather not taint your pure smile with his repulsive hands. You deserve someone better than a filthy sinner.
His sins are so morally reprehensible, unforgivable and a curse upon himself and others. The sins crawl and slithers inside of his body, forever embedded in his life. It whispers, it screeches and it grates in his mind. It's a constant, painful reminder that no matter how many times he is given the chance to repent and redeem himself… His sins will forever stain his heart. He'd rather not give that burden to others he cared about. Especially to you.
So, he builds his walls more. Pushed away everyone from his cursed existence.
But, you… You didn’t attempt to drag him back like others did. You didn’t try demolishing his thickened walls with an act of pity or something alike. You didn’t even try to unravel his existence at all. You just… stayed on the outer layers. Waiting patiently without any demands or rush.
You just chose him. Every single time.
Eventually, Jason just tore down his walls brick by brick for you. He left small but significant gaping holes in his walls just for you willingly.
It boggles his mind even until now. Why did he do that for you? Why did you stay even after everything he had done? Why did you choose him out of all people?
He will never know why. Not truly anyways. Not until he can fully accept that his mere existence is irrefutably enough for you. Jason is – and always has been – enough.
And maybe, that’s enough for now.
authors note: a quick writing slash character study ngl. we all know that Jason Todd has the tendency to self-sabotage (who doesnt lowkey), but I really wanna delve into his psyche and his guilt too. ending is kinda bum imo but ey, i finally posted something for once! i hope you enjoy it. also my asks are open for requests.
I've seen a lot of discourse going around about x reader fic and people saying they can't understand the appeal of it. I can definitely understand! But I have seen some truly mean and angry comments about it. So I just wanted to write a little post to put some perspective in.
Before we start: this is my opinion. I'm not saying your opinion is wrong in any way. This is just one perspective!
TL;DR: Creativity, expression, escapism, and enjoyment. You don’t have to read it if you don’t enjoy that and it’s fine. You are not morally superior for not liking it.
I guess first a little lore drop. I grew up in a pretty emotionally & verbally abusive home. It was mostly one parent but the other just let it happen. I first began writing self-insert as a way to be outside of myself. To transport myself to another world. I've always had an active imagination and writing self-insert (starting when I was 10) was an extension of that. Eventually, I started reading reader insert. It started on quizilla (dating myself here) in middle and high school. I also read and wrote general character x character fanfics. But x reader was my coping mechanism.
Fanfiction has a long history of being seen as “cringe.” One point I’d like to bring up is that ALL fanfiction has a long history of being seen as “cringe.” From the earlier days from the likes of Kirk x Spock, when people made zines and mailed fics to each other, it was seen as a “weird” hobby for “weird” people. Even seeing people reclaim “fujoshi” and “fudanshi” has been interesting – these terms LITERALLY mean “rotten girl” and “rotten boy,” because people who enjoyed this type of media were seen as gross and rotten. (This stemmed from them being seen as people who fetishize relationships that are not hetero.)
Many x reader fics are NOT generic and give the reader character backstory. This is not YOU. This is a fictional person whose shoes you’re walking in. Like oh, I’m a fashion designer now? Cool! I’m doing study in abroad in a country I’ve never been to in real life? Hell yeah! I saw a comment from @gothgaymoth saying that he views reader-insert characters similar to the main character of visual novels. They’re saying it’s “you” but that’s not you.
Are many x reader fics pretty generic characters? They can be! But that's the thing. The reader character in these stories is a canvas. A blank slate.
Many x reader fics involve something that you don't vibe with. And that's okay! The fact that it's x reader in general means you may not vibe with it! And that's okay too!
My wife and I recommend fics to each other! She enjoys because it’s fun to read. We are married and in a happy relationship and she understands why I read reader-insert. I understand that for her it’s just fun!
Fanfiction is storytelling. Whether you’re reading character x character, member x member, reader x whatever… it’s a story. You’re telling some sort of story. That’s it. (In many cases that story may be as simple as ‘they banged’ and THAT’S FINE!) I’ve read reader-insert fics that have made me cry because they were that emotional and well-written. You’re not reading for realism. Or maybe you are! There’s fics out there for you too.
At the end of the day, we’re not that different. Whether you’re reading a 400 word short yaoi drabble or you’re reading a reader-insert that’s the length of the Epic of Gilgamesh – we’re all fans here and we’re all being perceived as weird by others. If you wanna view those who read x reader fic as “weird” or “gross” or what the hell ever, that’s your right! But can some people please not act like they’re morally superior to those who do read it? (If that’s not you, congrats! But don’t think I don’t see y’all out there.)
In a time where creativity is being overshadowed by AI, it’s more important than ever that we foster creativity. Creativity is such a huge part of life. The human experience. People are gonna be out here writing things you don’t enjoy, and that’s okay. Not everything has to be for every single person.
If you read this far, thank you! Hope your day is going well. If it’s not, well, I’m sending you the biggest hugs. Drink your water. Take your meds. You’re doing great.
Hello lovelies! So I had someone ask me on anon a while back what Muriel’s reaction would be seeing his S/O having a panic attack. I’m not sure if they wanted a simple answer or if it was a prompt for one of my commissions; so I’m making a small sample writing out of it. Enjoy!
I couldn’t breathe. Everything inside my body was screaming at me to do something but I couldn’t focus on a single thought to help me through it, nothing to help me grasp desperately at the small sliver of a chance to process my emotions and calm down. But with each passing second that window of opportunity was lost. I was slowly beginning to feel my own body again but in the worst way. My skin was hot and my face felt clammy, my heart pounded in my chest and tears threatened to swell from my eyes. My gaze darted around the small room I’d grown to call home. It was only home when he was there though, with me, beside me. I searched the room over again and again but no matter how many times I searched the corners and shadows he wasn't there. My hands recklessly flew to the sides of my head and clawed my fingers through my hair. Frozen, I sat there on the very edge of the bed with shaking hands clinging to my scalp. My breathing became jagged as my mind wandered to where he could be, where he could have gone and when. Why wasn’t he home? Why didn’t he wake me up to tell me? What happened to him? Inanna wasn’t here either. I bounced back and forth in my mind if that made me feel better thinking he was protected when with Inanna or just worried me more that they both could be out there hurt. Just as I began to sob and look around the hut hopelessly again, the door swung open. Muriel hunched through the doorframe. As he lumbered in and straightened up he suddenly heard my sobs. I could see the confusion on his face dissolve into frantic worry when he saw me. Within two strides he closed the space between us and buried me in his arms. Almost instantly his scent quelled the thumping in my chest to a steady beat. I let the smell of myrrh fill my aura as I melted into his embrace. Slowly and ever so gently Muriel pulled me into his lap, fully encompassing my body with his. His hushes echoed in my ears and his calloused fingers ran softly through the hair I was pulling at seconds previously. “I am so sorry. I am so so sorry.” The vibrations of his deep voice whispering hummed against my body. I closed my eyes despite the tsunami rushing from them. He continued to whisper, “I’m here now. It’s okay, I’m here. You are not alone.” With each word of adoration, comfort, and support I could feel the tension release from my chest, eventually my head gaining clarity and a peace washed over me. With his arms still clasped around me, he leaned back on to the pile of furs on our bed and let me rest again him. His breathing helped pace mine and I could hear the thumping of his heart in his chest. Everything about him radiated security and strength- even as we fell asleep together like this.
Julian X Male apprentice
Prompt: “Just a little longer”
Commission for- @transmarikon
“Julian…” His words drifted softly through the air and into my ears, bringing me back to consciousness from a deep, and rare, sleep. I could feel my darling partner laying there next to me. As the fog from my dreams lifted memories from last night flooded my mind causing me to grin as I rolled over on my side. Facing him, I slowly opened my eyes. His bright and beautiful gaze met mine, full of adoration.
“How did I get so lucky to be tangled up in these sheets with you?” I reached out and caressed his face, feeling him leaning into it ever-so-slightly. “Mmm, I’m the lucky one. Not for much longer though,” taking my hand from their face he planted a gentle kiss on my palm, “I have to go open the shop.”
I instantly protested,
“Darling, don’t leave yet. We only just woke up!” I curled closer to him and buried my face in the crook of his neck and against the pillow we shared. “You do this every time, Ilya…” They chuckled while wrapping both arms around me, completely encompassing me in their space, causing my reply to be slightly muffled.
“Just a little longer, love.” I was already on the brink of drifting back to sleep just being held by him. When I felt his body that covered mine relax, I knew we had just that- a little longer.
treat my works and account with basic human decency and respect. don't like? scroll away. you don't have to look at my works. it's your choice to do so.
you may give suggestion, criticism, and ideas but please make it substantial and direct. i prefer to know what i can improve head on.
do not interact with me if you're someone who's against human rights (ableist, homophobic, racist, etc.) i simply do not care nor respect you as a human being if you do so.
do not interact if you do any darkshipping. i do not mind themes with yandere, obsession, etc but i draw the line at incest, pedophilia, non-consensual ships (unless CNC) and the likes. i do not and will not romanticize ships like that. IM LOOKING AT YOU BATFAM SHIPPERS. disrespectfully, fuck off.
do not interact with my 18+ posts and reblogs if you're a minor or an ageless blog. i will always tag my 18+ posts with the mature content label. i won't block you simply because i do not have the time and effort to do so, but any consequences of you deciding to read my 18+ posts is out of my hands. heed my warnings.
do not feed my works into generative AI for any reason. respect the time, effort, and the knowledge i have to do to make this. i do not do this just for some jumbled binary codes of a silicon valley tech bro to 'write' it better for me. disrespectfully, fuck off.
anything. self explanatory really. fluff, angst, smut, and poly too! im down for all. i'm an experimental creator, so feel free to suggest me any ideas!
ships and x readers. i'm more proficient at making 'x readers' but i don't mind making contents for ships and pairings.
what i wont do...
stepcest, incest, non-con, pedophilia, infantilization, scat kink, piss kink, vomit kink, and any misuse of body parts kinks. this is just something i'm not interested in and do not enjoy writing in. i have my own yums and yucks. respect it.
readers with super-specific appearance trait. i'd like my readers to be as applicable and enjoyable to a lot of people.
