#mcattyche

[mcattyche]

I keep thinking... I should of known I should have noticed there had to have been signs how did I miss them? but then I remind myself that I always look for the best in people even when there's nothing to find and there's nothing wrong with that I wanted better I want better I deserved better... better than - being lied to ignored cut off I keep making excuses for you but I deserved so much damn better deserve***** and it still hurts but my weaknesses will one day make me strong one day I'll thank you because one day I'll have better I'll know what good really is and that you weren't good at least not for me one day you'll be happy too you won't be afraid and you won't hide behind your fears one day you'll have better too all thanks to the one who loves me (and you) more than I can even grasp a God who will never fail me and who is the only constant amidst chaos

[mcattyche]

mostly I miss the sweet smiles and little kisses the hand holding feeling beautiful no matter what knowing someone was interested in me

but you didn’t love me, maybe didn’t even like me there are plenty of things I miss and sadly you aren’t one of them

I never truly felt as though you liked me I was always convincing myself I thought it was insecurity but it was just you afraid or immature or both never really caring, not the way I needed

there will be better I won't question or doubt it'll take time but I know that I'm worth waiting for

[mcattyche]

things I don't know how to say to you

I'm afraid of being a burden of being too much of missing you of you not missing me of saying what I need, and it being too much of hurting: being hurting and hurting you of annoying you and everyone else that you'll change your mind, or that I will of being forgotten of falling in love with you of letting myself be that vulnerable

[mcattyche]

Day 18: I feel like shit. really emotional and don't know how to handle it. didn't even think about my looks today, too tired

[mcattyche]

Day 17: hair was super curly today. day was pretty neutral

[mcattyche]

Day 15: (left) not the best picture of my face, but I feel like I look skinny(er) in that picture. friday was a good day; lots of craziness and singing and dancing. I wore my new rose romper and felt like a model, so that was fun! Day 16: (right) actually taken on Friday as well because I'm forgetful as crap. but saturday was good. my hair was still loosely curled from the night before and I spent a lot of time with friends, new and old.

[mcattyche]

Day 14: pretty decent hair day and I'm wearing one of my fav shirts! in a good mood today too! thankful for reconnecting with good friends and sharing together about things the Lord has been doing. the weather today is also one of my favs - cloudy but bright and brisk but not frigid.

[mcattyche]

Day 12 & 13: getting back into the rhythm of school, I missed two days. this picture is from Tuesday (day 12) but I don't have one from yesterday. both days were good. I'm still getting used to having my own room and all that. day 12: I felt pretty. my hair styled well and I had on a bit of mascara. day 13: I felt okay. my hair was a bit wild and greasy, but acceptable.