i'm gonna send you DAN AND PHIL just because i CAN
Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versaWell. Wel l. Dan does that like. All the time. He pushes but it doesn’t work, until he sees the sign and. Yeah. But. Phil. Phil is convinced that this door has always opened to the outside. So he doesn’t try gently like Dan, no, he struts through, well, against the door. Dan laughs a lot. Because Phil has a bruise on his forehead. “Again, Phil?”
Who the fuck put peeps in the microwaveThat’d be Phil, because “it’s like a bonfire, right?” and Dan would do it for scientific reasons. Because science.
Who is the slut for DoritosDan. That’s official. Phil still has to get over the cheese shock.
Who starts the pillow fights....................................................... Phil.
Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smileI’d say Phil watches Dan with a smile, but lbr, Dan doesn’t sleep. Ever.
Who mistakes salt for sugarPhil. (Maybe because Dan swapped them.)
Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morningThat’d be Phil. Dan is still “sleeping”.
Who comes up with cheesy pick up linesPhil. Dan tries but. Phil.
Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical orderWell. Apparently. They share their shelves. Which are sorted in alphabetical order so... both? (Probably Dan tho. Not sure if Phil sorts anything ever. Not even his socks ffs.)
Who licks the spoon when they’re baking browniesDan would eat the honey, but Phil would eat the dough.
Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasionPHIL!!! (”Every day is a special occasion”)
Who draws little tattoos on the other with a penthey both do that it’s a thing that happens (Phil more tho bc cat sticker)
Who is in charge of grocery shopping, taking out the trash, picking their kid up from sports (if they have one)Dan does the grocery shopping, Phil takes out the trash, they don’t have a child yet so. We will see. (It’s gonna be Phil. Dan would have to interact with people.)
Who dies firstAccording to Dan that’d be Phil. Nope. They’re immortal. Goodbye.
Who is more likely to get kicked out of bedDan gets kicked out because he moves too much when he can’t sleep. Phil gets kicked out because Dan moves a LOT when he’s actually asleep for once.
Who needs help opening their PopsiclePhil. He can’t find the opening.
Who talks to questionable strangersPhil. They find him. Always.
Who likes to kiss the other when their face is all stickyPhil, and it’s sticky because Phil put cat stickers all over Dan’s face.
Who wears nothing but their underwear around the house for an entire dayWell. Dan goes naked apparently so that’s gotta be Phil.
Who steals the blanket in the middle of the night and leaves the other with nonePHIL
Who likes to drink straight-up black coffee and teases the other for their flavor-loaded StarbucksAfaik Phil likes sugary flavory drinks so. Dan.
Who sneaks putting pizza bagels and Captain Crunch in the shopping cartPhil sneaks them in but Dan knows because honestly, Phil isn’t really good at sneaky.
Who would be the strict parent and who would be the cool onehaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha we’re talking about DAN AND PHIL here......
Who forgot they can’t put foil in the microwave and accidentally started a small fireremember that time when the alarm went off during one of Dan’s younow shows... yeah. Phil.
Who wakes the other up in the middle of the night because they thought they heard somethingDan wakes up and is anxious and uses the flashlight of his phone and that wakes up Phil
What they would be like as parentsA BEAUTIFUL DISASTER. they can’t even take care of a pet. of a GOLDFISH. don’t give them a child. god.
