I’m sitting in the car on my way to take the BAR.
This is it. This is when I find out if I’m ready to be a lawyer. I know my stuff, but half the battle for me with these types of big tests is anxiety and stress.
So I’m wearing a ton of little talismans that I’ve gathered over the years hoping for some good luck but mostly to remind me that I have people in my corner, win or lose.
-The key necklace was a present from my parents when I graduated high school.
-The bracelet was a present from my sister and brother-in-law’s honeymoon.
-The evil eye ring is an inside joke with my best friend.
Everything else? It’s all Taylor.
-I wore that snake pin on my costume to the Rep Tour;
-And the little snake necklace is just a reminder of how big of an empowering influence Taylor is in my life.
-The crown ring is a very vivid memory I have from the 1989 tour when Taylor introduced her cover - later we found out it was a duet - of “Doubt” by Mary J. Blige.
“They said I’d never be a leader, they said I’d never wear a crown. That if I wanted to be someone, I should learn to settle down”
I had never heard this song before, and in that moment, hearing the person I look up to most describe her own struggle with self doubt, I instantly feel less ashamed of my own doubts.
I’m constantly doubting myself. I question my own abilities, my skills, my knowledge, determination and discipline.
And in those times of crisis, at my lowest lows, I go back to that video. To that intimate moment only Taylor Swift is capable of creating in a crowd of tens of thousands of people, and I exhale.
That crown is mine if I can muster up the courage to reach out and grab it.
I should be out of this exam in 7 hours or so, and it would just warm my heart to see that maybe a few of you read this and maybe related to something I said. Or maybe you haven’t seen the performance I’m talking about (link is below) and maybe this can help you too.
@taylorswift @taylornation
https://youtu.be/GZ0474w66uw