#mean shit

[aamtreeanalogy]

im sorry for making you feel stupid because whatever you said was stupid.

[pennycutenice]

They should invent hot single lesbians close to me.

[suck-mein-pokeballs]

I swear every time y’all talk about jerma you show a picture of an entirely different man and I’m starting to feel like jerma isn’t real and he’s just an elaborate tumblr joke

[analog-machine]

A list of good phrases to piss people off

Random offensive phrases

Die mad, then

Cry about it

Whine harder

Scream louder, maybe you’ll pop a blood vessel

Don’t use your squeaky voice with me, twerp

Wow, that was almost intelligent

Hey, that almost made sense

That was certainly a lot of words

I’m sorry, were you saying something?

I don’t speak dipshitese/fucktardese

I hope your kid turns out 99% (other parent)

Holy fuck, ma’!  A goblin’s trying to communicate with us!

Direct insults

You sure talk a lot of shit for a bitch that looks like Sid the Sloth

Ew, what’s that on your---oh, that IS your face

I didn’t know it was possible to flat lose the genetic lottery, but here you are

You should really let someone shed some light on your existence, it’s not right to keep the Missing Link locked away like that

Does your mom know the hobgoblin’s missing from her basement?

Your voice makes me want to commit unalive to my ears

Your “piss on it to establish dominance” way of handling things never ceases to impress

Idk, I’ll probably think up a part 2 later.

[sleepypurpledandelion]

Sweetheart I’m so sorry. I wish I could do something to make you feel better ❤️❤️ you’re an angel and you help me out so much. -w

Ah, you’re too kind. I’m sorry I wasn’t on earlier today to reply to your ask. <3 You make me feel better just by talking to me, so you’re doing more than enough lovely. <3

[big-ol-bowl-o-bitter-bits]

You were never emotionally abused Just having the symptoms and coping mechanisms doesn't mean dick nothing ever actually happened to you ffs You just tell people that as an excuse to be awful to them

[mmmbuttery]

People who probably deserve a hard pinch to the underarm:

The ones who say they “always get gauge.”  Then they look smug.

(I never fucking get gauge.  goddamnit.)