#meg josephson

[rouxney]

[artemistartarus]

You are not responsible for regulating other people’s emotions.

You are not responsible for regulating other people’s emotions.

You are not responsible for regulating other people’s emotions.

You are not responsible for regulating other people’s emotions.

You are not responsible for regulating other people’s emotions.

You are not responsible for regulating other people’s emotions.

You are not responsible for regulating other people’s emotions.

You are not responsible for regulating other people’s emotions.

You are not responsible for regulating other people’s emotions.

[downtothemarrow]

"So much of fawning is making other people feel comfortable, or even superior, so that we can feel safe. A compliment feels like a threat to the body: Deflect so they know you're humble and good! Don't feel threatened by me; I'm just a nobody. This is the same reason fawning can make you feel unworthy of your accomplishments. The inner critic (which is trying to protect you) tells you that no accomplishment is enough because it's stuck in a time when you had to constantly impress in order to achieve a sense of safety. The fawn response is about finding safety by doing more: if you reached a point where you felt "good enough," that protective part would feel scared because it would mean you could stop trying so hard."

—Meg Josephson, Are You Mad at Me?

[judgingbooksbycovers]

Are You Mad at Me?: How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You

By Meg Josephson

[eleven-fiftynine]

A boundary isn’t an attempt to control the other person’s behavior or to make them change. A boundary doesn’t require the other person to do anything. A boundary is something you set for yourself, not for the other person. You’re deciding what you will do, not what the other person will do.

Are You Mad at Me? by Meg Josephson

[eleven-fiftynine]

There’s no such thing as a perfect parent, child, partner, or friend. Let that be a relief. You don’t need to be perfect in relationships. And when we can stop expecting perfection from ourselves in relationships, we can stop expecting it from others. We’re all going to mess up, say things we didn’t mean, misunderstand each other’s needs, miscommunicate our wants. How we repair those moments is what makes relationships even closer.

Are You Mad at Me? by Meg Josephson

[eleven-fiftynine]

No child can be “good enough” to earn a functional childhood when their parents are in so much pain of their own and are stuck in their own unprocessed trauma. The causes and conditions that have led us here aren’t our fault, but our healing is our responsibility.

Are You Mad at Me? by Meg Josephson

[eleven-fiftynine]

Fawning, at its core, is what we learn to do to avoid being abandoned or rejected and to maximize feelings of love and safety. The irony is that, in an unconscious attempt to avoid abandonment, we end up abandoning ourselves.

Are You Mad at Me? by Meg Josephson