You Did Me A Favor, Cuz I Opened My Eyes!
The Phantomhive Household with a Fallen Angel Emily!Reader as a maid!
In which you, a fallen angel, join the Phantomhive Household!
Cw: The reader is like Emily from Hazbin Hotel if she fell.
The rain poured relentlessly, washing away the filth of London’s streets as the night stretched on in eerie silence. Sebastian Michaelis stepped carefully through the cobbled alleyway, his polished shoes untouched by the grime beneath him. The scent of blood and something far more peculiar—divine yet tainted—drew his attention to a heap of white and gold crumpled against a wall.
He stopped, tilting his head in mild curiosity.
A woman, wings splayed and broken, lay sprawled in the alley, her [h/c] locks matted with rain and dirt. Her once-pristine feathers were a mess of blood and snapped quills, twitching ever so slightly as she groaned in pain. She was an angel—or at least, she had been. Now, she was something less, something discarded. How delightful.
Sebastian crouched beside her, the dim glow of his crimson eyes flickering in amusement. “Oh dear, what a tragic sight. Did Heaven grow tired of you, little dove?”
The woman groaned, turning over to blink up at him. Despite her sorry state, her bright eyes sparkled with a strange, almost ditzy warmth. “Oh wow! Hi there, handsome! You got, like, the most dramatic voice ever. It’s so cool! Who are you? Oh! Are you an actor? I bet you’d be really good at playing, like, an evil prince or something! Super spooky vibes.”
Sebastian blinked. Once. Then twice. Ah. This was going to be insufferable.
“I am one hell of a butler,” he said smoothly, offering her a gloved hand. “And you, my dear, seem to be in desperate need of assistance.”
She took his hand eagerly, her grip surprisingly strong as she pulled herself upright—only to immediately wince and slump against him. “Owie—ugh, my everything hurts. Feathers aren’t supposed to bend that way, right?” She flexed one mangled wing, feathers falling out like an unfortunate pillow fight aftermath. “Oh wow, this is, like, really bad, huh?”
Sebastian hummed, barely hiding his smirk. “Yes, well, I suppose plucked poultry is never quite as elegant as one would hope.”
She gasped. “Oh my gosh! Are you calling me a chicken?! Rude! I’m, like, way cuter than a chicken. Have you seen my wings? Or, well, what’s left of them? Angelic, babe.”
“I would never dream of it,” he replied, the picture of innocence. “Though, if the feathers fit…”
She huffed, pouting as she tried—and failed—to flick his forehead. “You’re kinda mean, y’know that?”
“And yet, you are still clinging to me.”
She looked down, realizing she was, in fact, still latched onto his arm. “Oh! Whoopsie-daisy!” She laughed, letting go—only to immediately wobble on her feet. “Okaaaay, maybe not the best idea.”
Sebastian sighed, feigning reluctance as he caught her again. “It would seem you are rather incapable of fending for yourself in this state. How… unfortunate.”
She gasped dramatically, eyes wide with realization. “Wait! You’re totally right! I can’t, like, do anything right now. Oh no, does that mean I’m homeless? That’s so sad!”
Sebastian exhaled through his nose, a ghost of a smirk tugging at his lips. “Tragic, indeed.” He paused, considering his options. “As it so happens, I may be able to offer you a position.”
Her ears perked up—figuratively, of course. “Oh! Like, a job? Wow! I’ve never had one of those before! What do I do? Is it fun? Do I get to wear a cute outfit?”
A slow, wicked smile curved his lips. “Oh, I assure you, it will be… quite the experience.”
She clapped her hands excitedly, completely missing the underlying menace in his tone. “Yay! This is gonna be awesome! I get to work with you, Mr. Evil Prince Voice? Sign me up!”
Sebastian straightened, offering her his arm once more. “Come along then, little dove. Let’s get you acquainted with your new… home.”
As she beamed up at him, blissfully unaware of the passive-aggressive barbs laced within his every word, Sebastian simply smirked.
Oh yes. This was going to be very entertaining indeed.
The next morning, the fallen angel wandered outside, stretching her sore limbs and flapping her mangled wings experimentally. “Oof, still busted. That’s a bummer.”
A voice called from nearby. “Oh! Are you new?”
She turned and was immediately met with the brightest grin she’d ever seen. Finny, the ever-enthusiastic gardener, waved eagerly, holding a heavy-looking pot in one hand as if it were weightless.
“Oh wow, hi! You’re super strong! Are you, like, part giant?” she asked, tilting her head.
Finny laughed, setting the pot down with ease. “Nope! Just got lucky! I try not to break things, but sometimes it happens anyway.”
She gasped. “Me too! Oh my gosh, we’re, like, totally the same! You’re, like, my new bestie now.”
Finny beamed. “Really? That’s great! Wanna help me with the flowers?”
She clapped excitedly. “Yesss! Gardening time! Oh, oh! Can I wear one of those cute straw hats? I’d totally rock the cottagecore vibe.”
Finny eagerly handed her a hat, and within minutes, the two were elbow-deep in soil, completely forgetting any real tasks as they built tiny dirt castles between planting flowers.
Sebastian, watching from the shadows, pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is going to be a long day.”
Later in the day, as the fallen angel explored the manor, she nearly collided with a blur of red and brown. Mey-Rin, flustered as always, barely managed to stop herself from toppling over, adjusting her oversized glasses hurriedly.
“Oh dearie me! I—oh! You must be the new girl!” Mey-Rin stammered, clutching a tray full of teacups precariously.
The fallen angel gasped, clasping her hands together. “Oh wow! You’ve got, like, the cutest accent ever! And those glasses! Oh my gosh, you’re adorable!”
Mey-Rin turned beet red. “A-Ah! I-I’m not used to such compliments, miss!”
“Oh! Let me help you with that!” Without thinking, the fallen angel reached out, bumping the tray slightly. In an instant, the teacups went soaring through the air.
Mey-Rin shrieked. “Oh no—!”
Reacting on impulse, the fallen angel lunged forward, attempting to catch them—only to flail and somehow end up entangled in the curtains, hanging upside down as the shattered porcelain littered the floor.
Sebastian arrived just in time to witness the disaster. He sighed deeply. “I see you’ve made yourself quite at home.”
The fallen angel, still dangling, grinned sheepishly. “Oopsie-daisy! So, like… maybe not my best moment?”
Mey-Rin giggled nervously. “Aha… y-yeah… I’ll get the broom…”
Even later in the day, the fallen angel wandered into the kitchen, lured by the delicious scent of something… burning?
Baldroy stood at the stove, cigarette hanging from his lips, an explosion of smoke billowing around him. “Damn it, not again!” he coughed, waving a hand at the small fire erupting in the pan.
She gasped. “Oh wow! Fire! That’s so cool!”
Baldroy blinked at her, then back at the flames. “Uh… not really? This ain’t supposed to be happenin’.”
She grabbed a spoon and started fanning the flames. “Maybe if we, like, blow on it real hard?”
Baldroy chuckled, shaking his head. “Nah, kid, I got this.” He grabbed a pot lid and smothered the fire in one swift motion. “See? All good.”
She clapped. “Woo! That was, like, so dramatic! You should totally be in a cooking contest.”
He grinned. “You’re a weird one, but I like your energy. Wanna help with dinner?”
She gasped. “Oh my gosh, yes! I can totally stir stuff! Or, like, chop things! Oh! Can I use a knife? Wait, maybe not. I got banned from scissors once.”
Baldroy let out a hearty laugh. “This is gonna be interesting.”
After barely surviving the kitchen, the fallen angel was led to the grand study, where Ciel Phantomhive sat behind his desk, pen in hand, looking every bit the young noble he was. His sharp blue eye scrutinized her as she stood before him, rocking slightly on her heels.
Sebastian cleared his throat. “My lord, allow me to introduce our newest… acquisition.”
Ciel barely looked up from his work. “Another stray, Sebastian? I didn’t think we were running a shelter.”
The fallen angel gasped dramatically. “Oh my gosh, am I a stray?! Does that make me, like, a super cute lost puppy? I bet I’d be the fluffiest.”
Ciel slowly set down his pen and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sebastian.”
“What is this?” He gestured vaguely at her, exasperation growing.
Sebastian smirked. “An angel, my lord.”
Ciel gave him a deadpan stare. “This is an angel?”
“Fallen, technically!” she added cheerfully. “It’s, like, a whole thing.”
Ciel sighed. “And what exactly is she supposed to do here?”
“She will assist in various tasks,” Sebastian replied smoothly. “Though I admit, she is something of an… experiment.”
Ciel leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “As long as she doesn’t break anything important.”
The fallen angel gave a thumbs-up. “You got it, boss!”
Ciel narrowed his eyes. “Sebastian, if she causes too much trouble—”
“Oh, my lord,” Sebastian interrupted with a knowing smile. “I wouldn’t dream of letting that happen.”
Ciel sighed again. He already had a headache.
