#mel01

[mental-health-advice]

I'm a little worried. I feel like I won't ever love anyone or like anyone. I've never had before and I realized a while ago that I was demiromantic/demisexual. I do want a relationship but I just haven't felt a liking or love to anyone in my life yet. I feel a little weird because I had just realized it today. I also feel like no one would love/like me either and I feel like I won't be happy or content in a relationship. I don't know what's wrong with me... -clv

Hey sunshine,

Nothing at all is wrong with you. It’s perfectly normal to worry time to time about the direction that is taking our lives. Don’t feel weird just because you’ve never really liked someone. It just means that you haven’t found the one yet with who you wanna share your life.

I consider myself a demisexual and have a huge admiration for demisexual/demiromantic people. I think it’s a wonderful thing to fall for someone’s soul first. What you must understand is that you don’t have to rush into falling in love or being loved. You’re a wonderful human being and someone out there is waiting for you as much as you’re waiting for them. It’s just not the right time. There is no need to focus on finding your significant other because it will only stress you more and that won’t help much.

Just live your life to the fullest, enjoy the smallest things in life that make you happy. I can’t tell you when you’ll meet your next long-term partner – but I can give you a few tips to manage your worries better.

Change your thoughts: do a reality check. What grounds you have to believe you will stay single? Think about your life 5 or 10 years back. All the big things that happened in that period. Were you single all the time? Most likely no. Most likely A LOT happened in your life in 2 years. Jobs, schools, places, friends, partners – all change. Even faster than we sometimes want them to. So if all those things happened then, why wouldn’t they happen in the next 10 years of your life? Where’s the proof that everything will stay as is? I dare you find one.

Change your life: put the rest of your life under control, as much as you can. That will make you feel less hopeless and helpless. If you get what you want in other areas of life, you will feel more confident you can do it in your love life as well. Focus on doing more things you love and enjoy. If you are unhappy in your job – look for one that will make you feel better. If you want to lose some extra weight – go ahead, make a plan and lose it. If you are passionate about any sports/art/craft/music/hobby – do it. Take classes. Enjoy your time. Enjoy your life. Make your single days count.

The more you feel you are in control of your life – the happier you feel, the better you look, the more you smile, the more fun you have. More moments of genuine bliss. Less time to pity yourself for being single. And you’re not putting your life on hold while he or she arrives. When you’ll do that, you’ll start attracting more interesting people in your life. You’ll grow confidence and when you feel you are in the right place, and you believe love can happen for you: the right partner will come, without a doubt.

When the times is right, you’ll loved and you will be loved, it’s a sure thing honey ! Be brave,

Christelle 

[mental-health-advice]

I have GAD and I don't know how I'll get through it

Hey love,

Sure thing, you’ll get through it ! All you need is time and determination. You’ll have to work on your worries, since people with GAD tend to be more worried. So I found for you few steps that could help you work on this:

First step: Look at your worries in new ways

You may feel like your worries come from the outside—from other people, events that stress you out, or difficult situations you’re facing. But, in fact, worrying is self-generated. You need to distinguish between productive and unproductive worrying. If you’re focusing on “what if” scenarios, your worrying is unproductive.

Second step: Work on relaxation techniques

Anxiety is more than just a feeling. It’s the body’s physical “fight or flight” reaction to a perceived threat. Your heart pounds, you breathe faster, your muscles tense up, and you feel light-headed. When you’re relaxed, the complete opposite happens. If you struggle with GAD, relaxation techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, and meditation can teach you how to relax. The key is regular practice. Try to set aside at least 30 minutes a day. As you strengthen your ability to relax, your nervous system will become less reactive and you’ll be less vulnerable to anxiety and stress. Over time, the relaxation response will come easier and easier, until it feels natural.

Progressive muscle relaxation. When anxiety takes hold, progressive muscle relaxation can help you release muscle tension and take a “time out” from your worries. The technique involves systematically tensing and then releasing different muscle groups in your body. As your body relaxes, your mind will follow.

Deep breathing. When you’re anxious, you breathe faster. This hyperventilation causes symptoms such as dizziness, breathlessness, lightheadedness, and tingly hands and feet. These physical symptoms are frightening, leading to further anxiety and panic. But by breathing deeply from the diaphragm, you can reverse these symptoms and calm yourself down.

Meditation. Many types of meditation have been shown to reduce anxiety. Mindfulness meditation, in particular, shows promise for anxiety relief. Research shows that mindfulness meditation can actually change your brain. With regular practice, meditation boosts activity on the left side of the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for feelings of serenity and joy.

Those are 2 steps of many others you can try. If you wanna learn more about it you can visit this website. It’s really detailed and it can help you a lot :) Whatever you’re going through right now love, you’ll get through it ! You’re not alone. You can still seek for professional help honey :) 

I wish you all the best. Hope these tips helped. Love,

Christelle

[mental-health-advice]

Hey uh. I'm sure you've answered a question like this but what are the symptoms/signs of disassociation ? Or however it is pronounced. #animalriot

Hey there,

I’m believe you meant dissociation right ? Symptoms of dissociation depend on the severity and type. But here are the main symptoms I could find for you:

Feeling disconnected and detached from yourself

Trouble handling intense emotions

Sudden and unexpected shifts in mood – for example, feeling very sad for no reason

Depression or anxiety problems, or both

Feeling as though the world is distorted or not real (called ‘derealisation’)

Memory problems that aren’t linked to physical injury or medical conditions

Other cognitive (thought-related) problems such as concentration problems

Significant memory lapses such as forgetting important personal information

Feeling compelled to behave in a certain way

Identity confusion – for example, behaving in a way that the person would normally find offensive or abhorrent.

If you are worried that yourself or a loved one may present signs of dissociative disorder, it’s really important to seek for professional help. 

(Source)

I hope I answered your question :) Be brave,Christelle

[mental-health-advice]

To the person worried about not having a prom date: For my 8th grade prom, I obsessed about going with a date, and it almost ruined the event for me. Go with a group of friends. You'll be guaranteed to have fun the entire night.

Hey there anon,

Thank you for the wonderful advice. Going to prom with friends is definitely a great way to have fun at your prom night. Hope the person will see your message ! 

Love,

Christelle 

[mental-health-advice]

Did you just get a 2 part ask tagged em9898? Just making sure it got through!

Heeey ! 

Yes we got the 2 parts of your ask. However asks are answered bottom to top so I guess you’d have to wait a couple of days before your ask get answered. I hope you’re doing fine <3

Love,

Christelle

[mental-health-advice]

It's so stupid, but I feel like crying whenever I look at prom dresses or hear about prom. I want to go so bad but I don't have a date. My parents tried to be supportive but they only made it worse by rubbing it in that they had prom dates in high school. It just makes me feel really bad and unwanted...

Hey friend,

It’s completely ok if you don’t have a prom date. They won’t refuse you the access if you don’t have a prom date. I, myself went to my prom without a date and I assure you it was one of the most wonderful days of my life. 

Some of my friends were there with “boyfriends dates”, others with “friendly dates” and the rest with no dates. In fact I can assure you that you’ll enjoy more your prom without a date, you’ll have more freedom therefore more fun (and less stress). You got to spend the evening however you want. Also, you can spend the night with the most important people: your friends. When you look back on your high school years, the one thing you'll remember more than anything else is the people you hung out with. So why not spend the biggest night of your high school career with everyone you care about the most? Prom is a great opportunity to bond with your closest friends before you all leave for college -- and it can be harder to do that with a date by your side.

Going alone is way better than staying home right? Well, for me, the choice is already made haha. It’s the last night you’re really going to enjoy with all your classmates, so go and make it the best night of your high school years. At the end of night, whether you have a date or not, you'll get out of prom what you put into it. If you're enthusiastic and committed to having a great time, you probably will. So put on your best formal wear, do you hair, rent a limo, grab some friends and make prom your own.

Enjoy your date sweetheart <3

Love,

Christelle

[mental-health-advice]

What to do when you have no close friends? -maria

Hey sunshine! 

No worries here :) If I understand well, you don’t have any close friends, but you still have friends right ? Then, make the best of those friendships relationship! Who know ? One of your current friend could end up being your bestfriend. 

Making friends is really easy (well for some people), but making REAL friends is very hard. I was the same as you when I first moved to Canada. I had no friends for at least a year or more, only acquaintances. This was because I choose my friends really wisely. I prefer not having close friends at all than having a lot of friends therefore a lot of drama in my life. Today I have 4 wonderful close friends and I can count on them whenever! It took me a lot of time to get there but at the end, well... here I am. So don’t worry about it sweetheart, you’re not alone. 

Learn to Make Friends and Build Your Social Circle. Making friends is a skill, it’s not something we are born with. So in order to master this skill, you got to work on it, am I right ? To do that, you need to find groups of people that meet up regularly and have interests that are similar to your own.  If you feel like you are bonding with an individual, meet up with them once or twice in a social setting. If all goes well, you should meet up with them regularly in order to maintain and strengthen the bond.

I find this article really helpful for how to turn acquaintances to friends. Hope it will help you :) I wish you all the best sweetheart. Be brave,

Christelle

[mental-health-advice]

hi, i just have been wondering, if someone replied to my ask about coming out to my friend and being told that i am not true bi. You're doing awesome work btw!~Ame

Hey Ame, 

Thank you for the support ! It always warms up our heart to receive messages like that. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to find your question in our ask box and i’ve tried looking in the blog for the tag coming out or Ame but I didn’t find any ask about coming out to a friend apart from this one. Is it yours? If not, I think tumblr might have eaten your ask :/ I’m sorry

Would you mind resending it please ? We’ll do our best to answer it as soon as possible. Apart from that, I hope you’re okay <3

Love,

Christelle