#melloessays

[melloblueanimated]

Turning Red (2022) - My Impressions

So it has be approximately 4 hours since I've watched Pixar's latest film Turning Red (2022) and here are the only thoughts I still have floating around hours after my first viewing (I have ADHD so my memory is fleeting. No spoilers but I'll put a filter anyway):

These children are queer. I'm sorry (not sorry)

There is no hetero explanation for the interaction between Priya and the goth girl

Mei and Miriam

Just Miriam I mean...look at this queer baby

Tyler

At the very least bi/ sapphic/ace/demi

At the heart, this again is about generational trauma (and we are still recovering from Encanto. Good lord Disney)

This is as much a mother/daughter story as it is a coming of age story. One that ends well and where the mother is overbearing (at first) but in very much a relatable way. I never viewed her as the villain. They really did such a great job with Ming.

RED. PANDAS. ARE. ADORABLE

The feels of the early 2000s period mixed in with 90s anime is amazing

Idk how they did it but they were able to blend 2D effects with 3D animation

Pads/feminine hygiene products/ periods finally EXIST in animation OMG

This is such an unapologetically girly, feminine, pink film that really embraces pre-teen/teen hood! I love when child characters are able to actually at like, well, CHILDREN.

I have been seeing a lot of complaints from people that this movie is...cringe. Well in my opinion, it was probably done on purpose. Just from seeing the behinds the scenes work on the film, this was a crew of women then knew what they were doing. Weren't we all that cringey at that age? Didn't we have moments where our parents made us wanna puke from embarrassment? I feel like it is a great testament to the crew that they were able to make us feel uncomfortable. To make us FEEL the embarrassment of Mei and to take us back to that period of time.

An edit: I will like to acknowledge those that wish to make this purely a platonic film about a group of friends. That’s okay too! Platonic relationships are so important, just as much as romantic ones. I’m not the kind of person to just make a character gay just because, but if I do see signs of it I will say it.

I'm planning to actually write a complete and fully realized essay on this movie after my second viewing but I had to write down my impressions before I forgot.This is definitely going to become a comfort movie.

[melloblueanimated]

Encanto Essay Part 2: The Madrigal Sisters

Click here for part 1: https://kcrartlove.tumblr.com/post/672397919215878144/encanto-essay-series-part-1-abuela-madrigal

Encanto Essay Series: Part 1 - Abuela Madrigal

Abuela Alma Madrigal: The Matriarch of the Madrigal family and mother of Pepa, Bruno, and Julieta. Rewatching Encanto a second time it is ha

We are now going to switch gears here and focus on the two sisters: Luisa and Isabela.

Immediately starting from just the first song of the movie "Family Madrigal", we can already see where each sister fits within the dynamic. From Mirabel's perspective they are both "perfect in every way".

Luisa is the "beauty and the brawn/ do no wrong" and Isabela the "perfect golden child". Of course as the movie goes on we realize that they are not "perfect" and merely feel pressured into living up to Abuela's standards. Even Mirabel sings:

This is my family A perfect constellation So many stars and everybody gets to shine

Whoa! But let's be clear, Abuela runs this show, whoa

Let's start with Luisa, with her song "Surface Pressure".

I'm the strong one, I'm not nervous I'm as tough as the crust of the earth is I move mountains, I move churches And I glow 'cause I know what my worth is

She starts off the song showing this blaring confidence in herself. According to her words she knows what she is worth, so why should she worry about the crack in the walls? She can fight whatever obstacle comes her way. But the deeper we go into the song, the cracks in her confidence start to show.

Under the surface I feel berserk as a tightrope walker in a three-ring circus Under the surface Was Hercules ever like "Yo, I don't wanna fight Cerberus"? Under the surface I'm pretty sure I'm worthless if I can't be of service

There it is. Underneath her tough exterior she feels that if she can't serve then she is "worthless". She's seen what has happened to Tio Bruno and her younger sister Mirabel. They were of no use to the family so they were cast aside.

Even at the beginning of the film when Mirabel was trying to help prep for Antonio's gifting ceremony, Abuela told her to step aside because she is of no use in the preparations. This couldn't have been the first instance of this happening to Mirabel and mostly likely is what Luisa and Isabela has seen growing up. That trauma from Bruno, down to Mirabel, has been interwoven in the fabric of their family. Even though Luisa is gifted, she feels that she needs to constantly prove her worth to the family and her community. Luisa sees being herself as not good enough to protect her family and her home. I can imagine her being told to watch out and protect her sisters a lot while growing up.

When Luisa starts to lose her power, she immediately breaks down. While this is played up for laughs in the film (I will admit I myself chuckled and her struggling to carry the potted plant) this is a true trauma response. Since she can no longer life up to her typical high standards of physical strength, she sees herself as worthless even more than she did before. She can't protect the people she loves and can't even protect herself.

According to the National Association for Gifted Children "Some say that gifted children are more prone to depression and suicide because of their heightened sensitivities, perfectionism, introversion, overachieving behaviors, existential concerns, and feeling like they don’t fit in. This can result in behaviors such as low self esteem, being very critical of themselves, frustration, and anger." Luisa immediately displays low self esteem at the moment she loses her powers. She has officially deemed herself helpless and hopeless.

What is quite interesting is when Isabel's power start to go haywire she sees this as a means of freedom.

This is the part of the story where we learn that Luisa's perfectionism is merely a role that has been placed on her. Underneath her pleasant exterior is years of anger and pent up frustration at living up to an unsustainable ideal.

Lets look at some lyrics from her and Mirabel's song What Else Can I Do?:

I grow rows and rows of roses Flor de mayo, by the mile I make perfect, practiced poses So much hides behind my smile

What could I do if I just grew what I was feelin' in the moment? (Do you know where you're going? Whoa) What could I do if I just knew it didn't need to be perfect? It just needed to be? And they'd let me be?

This is the first time in the whole movie where we see the true Isabela. She wants to be free to express herself, and the only way she can do that is through the plants she grows and creates. I feel like the cactus she created represents her in a way: On the exterior the cactus is prickly and untouchable but deep down inside it is vibrant and full of delicious water and sustenance (also I just have to point out that the cactus is a hidden Mickey lol). I feel like maybe Isa doesn't feel good enough being herself until this moment where Mirabel pushes her to her limit.

As the song goes on her dress just becomes messier, and messier, AND MESSIER! It's a beautiful transformation to watch. Her dress turns a dark, almost midnight purple with splatters of color from what I'm assuming is pollen from the plants she creates. She turns from being this delicate flower to a woman to passionate, vibrant, and powerful being. She's messy, but she's beautiful in all her perceived flaws and passionate nature.

Side note: I can also see Isabella as being a metaphor for coming out in the queer community and I personally head-canon her as a lesbian but that's for another day.

One thing I love is the character arc we see in both Isabela and Luisa. By the end of the movie Luisa is giving herself permission to express and feel her feelings. "Sometimes I cry," Luisa admits in the song All of You. I love how Isabela and Mirabel respond singing "So do I!" in unison. She recognizes now that she deserves to rest when she feels like she needs to and to not push herself too hard, but also that her sisters are a valuable support system that up to this point she had been overlooking. She had been relying on herself for so long, she didn't even think of her sisters as an emotional outlet. I feel like also up to this point the sisters were very much divided but now they're a solid unit.

Isa, on the other hand, is starting to play a more active role in her life. Living closely under the thumb of her grandmother, she is now taking charge of her life. We can see this in the final song number of the movie where Isabel is actively helping to rebuild the house.

Next I will be talking about Mirabel in the next post. I feel that talking about her relationship with herself and her sisters will require its own post to be honest, because there's a lot to say due to the background I'll have to provide on family systems.

[melloblueanimated]

Encanto Essay Series: Part 1 - Abuela Madrigal

Abuela Alma Madrigal: The Matriarch of the Madrigal family and mother of Pepa, Bruno, and Julieta. Rewatching Encanto a second time it is hard for me to like her and root for her. She has allowed the village to shame Bruno and has since passed on that shame to Mirabel. She has made both her son and granddaughter not feel good enough to be a part of their family. This greatly angers me as someone who has felt like an outsider growing up and not feeling accept by the community I lived in. I am here today, however, to try and delve deep into the psyche of Abuela and what has caused her to behave in this way.

1. Abuela's Hyper-vigilance

This is my family A perfect constellation

So many stars and everybody gets to shine

Whoa! But let's be clear, Abuela runs this show, whoa

She led us here so many years ago, whoa

Mirabel sings this line in the opening song of the movie "Family Madrigal". I have a lot to say about this song in regards to Mirabel but that'll be for Part 3 of this series. This song immediately establishes Abuela as the matriarch of the family. As a side comment to this lets look at this frame from the song.

Per the rules of cinema a 1-point shot like this establishes a feeling of power and importance. She IS the family Madrigal. Having a matriarch in a family isn't all that common. The matriarch of my family was my grandmother before she died. She was the center and the glue that kept my family together. So Abuela being a matriarch isn't the most substantial thing in the world. But the way she uses and abuses her stance as the matriarch is was is troubling. And it's due to her own trauma.

The Common Reactions to Trauma

According to Concurrent Treatment of PTSD and Substance Use Disorders Using Prolonged Exposure (COPE) as posted on Oxnardclinicalpsych.com, there are 10 common reactions to trauma (I recommend reading the article because it is pretty informative) but I'll quickly state the reactions that I see in Abuela:

Anxiety and fear

Re-experiencing of the trauma

Increased vigilance

Avoidance (this can be seen with the whole family quite frankly)

Grief and depression

Lack of concern and empathy for others

I see Abuela as a hyper vigilant and anxious person to the point of hyper-fixation. I say this because during "Family Madrigal" Abuela sings this line:

We swear to always

Help those around us

And earn the miracle

That somehow found us

The town keeps growing

The world keeps turning

But work and dedication will keep the miracle burning

And each new generation must keep the miracle burning

When I first watched Encanto I was thinking to myself why are the Madrigals so community oriented? This could greatly be a cultural thing seeing that this was set sometime in the early 1900's. I feel like most societies were very much community oriented. But I feel like with Abuela she does it as an offering to the miracle. As a thank you to the miracle she encourages her family to use their gifts for good. But this line in the song made me start to wonder if this is merely just a sign of her over vigilance. She has dedicated her life to keeping the candle burning in order to keep her home alive and her world in order. She has passed on the burden of this candle to her children, who in turn have passed this down to their children. The candle is a miracle, but is also a constant reminder of the trauma Abuela has gone through in her life. And unknowingly she has passed this down onto the next generation.

2. Abuela's Lack of Empathy

Almost every line she states in this movie is focused on casita and Encanto. Rarely is she concerned about the emotional and physical well-being of those around her. Just the miracle.

We mainly see this with Isabela:

This scene goes by very quickly but we hear Abuela and Isabela talking about the arranged marriage

Abuela: Such a perfect match

Isabela: So perfect

Abuela: So good for Encanto

Never is Abuela thinking "This is so good for Isabel!" Everything she does is for the greater good of Encanto. This is probably due to the fact just a scene before Dolores revealed that Mariano wants 5 kids, which feeds into her need to keep the Madrigal bloodline going.

We see this disregard for others again when Mirabel goes missing after finding Bruno and after the cracks in the walls start to form. Abuela is having a heated argument with Augustin about why he didn't tell her about the vision.

Abuela: Why didn’t you tell me about the vision?! Think of the family!

Augustin: I was thinking of my daughter!

Julieta: Mama you’ve always been hard on Mirabel

Abuela: Look around. We must protect our home.

Again a blatant disregard for her grand daughter's well-being. Abuela is reacting so much to the loss of her home and her husband that she can't even recognize and acknowledge the thoughts and feelings of the people around her. All she can think about is her home and the fear of loss.

And then finally it happens.

3. Abuela's Loss

You can see the fear and sadness on her face. She's reliving her trauma all over again. The thing she feared most has happened because she held onto it so tightly. She wanted to feel so safe and so protected from the world she didn't even realize she was hurting her loved ones.

By the end of the movie she regrets her actions and does see the error of her ways. I noticed that Abuela always romanticized her trauma as well. The way the story of Abuelo Pedro's sacrifice was told at the beginning of the movie is drastically different.

The romanticized version:

The hard-cold truth:

Noticed that in the romanticized retelling of her story her expression isn't NEARLY as broad. It's like any typical tragic story Disney would tell where we are told the pain of loss but we don't actually feel it/see it. When the story is flashed back again towards the end of the movie we finally see Abuela's true emotions. I believe this is because Abuela had finally reached a point of not being able to mask her emotions anymore. The whole family had been taught by her to ignore their thoughts and feelings and look "perfect" for their community and in return in front of each other.

Mirabel is really the catalyst in the beginning of Abuela's journey of self-healing which we hope will translate to her being more empathetic with her family but I feel like these types of things take time. It'll probably be a hard habit to break.

So I don't support Abuela and her decisions and how she has treated her family but I can see where it stems from. Losing everything that was precious to you can cause you to want to control the world around you to the point you are suffocating the feelings of those around you as well as yourself. She is a reminder to take care of yourself emotionally and mentally so you don't pass that trauma down to others.

[melloblueanimated]

Ciao Alberto: Thoughts/Analysis

*slight spoilers ahead*

Alberto is the prime example of a child who overcompensates and extends himself to others to avoid rejection and abandonment. We see this clearly in CIAO ALBERTO, where he strives so hard to please and be accepted by his new father figure, Massimo.

Throughout the short film we see Alberto doing a number of tasks, such as fishing, running deliveries, cooking dinner, with them all ending in complete failure due to his eagerness to please, usually to his detriment. We see his insecurity with him constantly asking Massimo "Am I fired?" after every task ends poorly.

The pivotal moment in the film is when one night, Alberto goes out on the boat on his own with a lantern to prepare for the next day, and ends us setting the boat on fire. After burning the fishing boat, he automatically jumps to the conclusion that this is where Massimo will finally give up on him. How can someone who screws up so much as him still be accepted and loved?

He packs his bags and starts to leave the town, where he is stopped by Massimo exclaiming "What are you doing?!". In this confrontation the truth comes out: Alberto sees Massimo as a father figure, if not his adopted father. he has been working so hard to be accepted by him, to be loved by him, that in his quest for love, he ends up making things worse.

Now this is where I love Massimo. Massimo is such a great father. He never yells, or screams, or gets belligerent when Alberto messes things up (we see this even with Giulia when she gets into trouble in Luca). He is a very strong, large man that can easily be intimidating with his presence (even in the scenes we see his he takes up the most space in each shot). We expect his to be loud and angry. But he is the exact opposite of what we expect from a character of his stature. He is quiet and stoic, which is the exact energy Alberto needs. Alberto saw his quiet nature as him rejecting him, but it was really Massimo not feeding energy into an already bad situation and escalating it even more. Massimo can see Alberto is just a sad and scared boy who lacks emotionally stability. Him yelling or screaming every time he messed up a task would just feed into his already prevalent thoughts of abandonment. He knows Alberto's confidence is merely a ruse to protect himself. The fact Massimo accepts him, embraces his role as Alberto's father, and never abandons him means so much. This is building such a great foundation of trust for Alberto that he can eventually extend into his other relationships.

I love the development of their relationship so much and really loved this short film! Hoping we might see some more shorts or possible a series (looking at you Disney) in the future. Here's to hoping!