Crying blood, bleeding tears
tw mention of su!c!de, angst, no comfort, character death, demon slayer AU
character scaramouche/F!reader
a/n i really enjoyed writing thiss!! the angst in this- i was surprised when i reread this. "did i write this? holy-" haha
happy reading though! or considering it's angst- probably not happy reading...
this one-shot is a bit long.. 2308 words to be exact.. sorry about that :,3 it's also on my ao3!!
The way you spoke to people, how you use your hands in conversations, how you always care for people even if they have bad intentions for you. The way you look at him, like he's the only person in the world that matters to you. If he was dared to tell the whole world he loves you, he would simply whisper it in your ear.
Out of all the hashira's, you're a rank higher than him, but he is still well respected, even though his personality is shi-ty. Most of the members of the Demon Slayer Corps know him for how strong he is, even though he joined the Corps a year ago. Apparently he was some sort of criminal before he joined. A lot of people question if he should be serving the Corps, but Master let him join. You're still curious as to why the Master let him join, but he has definitely changed since he joined.
"Scaramouchie! We're on another mission together, how great is that?!" You jog up to him. You love to call him Scaramouchie, teasing him of any sort is fun, especially seeing his flustered face. He turns from his conversation with one of the Mizunoe ranked slayers, scowling, but when he sees you, his scowl disappears, and his eyes soften at your smile. But he quickly turns back, mumbling something to himself.
"Yeah yeah, be quiet, will you? We need to focus, apparently it's an Uppermoon, according to this Mizunoe," he gestures at the trembling girl. She bows when you turn to her.
"Are you hurt anywhere? The Kakushi will be here soon, please take the other slayers to safety in the meantime, yes?" You say, not letting her reply. She bows, and rushes off to the other slayers.
Nakurami Forest is known for being dark even when it's bright and sunny. It's something due to the trees according to Master. An Uppermoon? Here in Nakurami Forest..? You question, going back to Scaramouche, who is looking at the forest.
"What are you thinking, Y/N?" He asks, noticing how there's some sort of look on your face, which is unusual for you.
You turn to him, surprised, but you push the thoughts away, trying to focus.
"Nothing," you smile at him.
"Loving thunder breathing, first form, wall of rumbling hearts!"
A wall, with hearts, that is shaking against each other, small bolts of lightning between them, suddenly rises from the ground, going all the way up to the tree tops. You wince at the pain at your stomach, and quickly help the wounded member out of danger, yelling at him to leave the forest.
You cough, and look at the blood splattered at the ground from the cough.
Your wall goes down, and there is Scaramouche fighting the Uppermoon, dashing from spot to spot. You straighten your back, getting into stance. You hear your crow say something about two more hashira's arriving.
"Loving thunder breathing, third form, lightning love!"
A lightning cackle bursts from the sky, stunning the Uppermoon. Scaramouche takes this opportunity and dashes right to the Uppermoon, about to slice his neck, but the Uppermoon disappears, and you're suddenly pulled down to the ground, hitting your head on a rock, half of it in the ground, the other sharp half, on top.
You shrieked, a sudden jolt of pain rushing through your head. You try to keep your eyes open, your vision blurry, and your head is spinning. Your sword drops to the ground right next to you, the handguard of a lotus flower falling off from it. You groan, at the rush of the pain rushing through your head.
You can't focus on anything, and it's confusing you. He sees you fall back, and fear and worry fills his eyes. He gets into his stance.
"Anemo breathing, third form, song of the wind."
All of a sudden, he's right there, right next to the Uppermoon behind you, like a gust of wind had taken him there. He slashes the Uppermoon's head, and it falls to the ground. He drops his sword, panting, and goes right to your side.
"Y/N? Are you alright? Can you hear me? What's your name? What's my name?" He panics, asking all sorts of questions.
You try your best to answer all of them, but you wince in pain. You tied a cloth around your stomach when the Uppermoon sliced a bit too deep, but now the cloth is falling apart.
He shakes his head, tears streaming down his face. He hiccups, shaking his head.
"Y/N.. No.. Please don't leave me.. You're the only.." He struggles to finish his sentence.
You were the first person who treated him with kindness, even when you didn't know him that well. All the other hashira's treated him differently when he first joined, but you spoke to him, after he defeated a demon, effortlessly. You wanted to learn more about this mysterious hashira. He was a strange one, he was quiet, and kept to himself, but the more you two talked, he cared more about you, and loved you more than himself. He never showed this kindness to you, but you could see it in his eyes. The way they soften when you walk into the room. You could see it in his expressions as he's talking to you.
You groan in pain, gulping down and trying to control your breathing.
"Try to control your breathing. The Kakushi will be here soon, hang in there a little longer, please Y/N?" His voice is breaking apart, and he's trying to stop crying. He's holding your hand, and squeezing it, giving you reassurance that he'll be here with you. For eternity.
"Scara.. You're a really.. Good person, you know? Look at you worrying about me, when you're hurt worse," You manage to get out, but there's so much pain from your stomach.
"Sh-t.." You mumble under your breath, feeling more blood pour out from your stomach as you speak.
Scaramouche notices this, and unbuttons his uniform, ripping it off. He folds it as quickly as he can, and puts pressure with it to your wound.
"It's fine, Scara…" You can taste the blood in your mouth from the punch to the stomach earlier. You've always had a habit of peeling the skin on your lips, secretly loving the metallic taste on your tongue. But you want the taste to go away now. You want all the pain to go away, you just want to see Scaramouche smile once more. When he smiles, you just seem to forget all about your struggles, and worries. All you could see was how beautiful he looked. How happy he looked to just be with you.
"NO!" You're surprised by this outburst.
"BE QUIET Y/N. IT'S NOT FINE, YOU'RE.." He pants, trying to process all this, trying to keep it all together for your sake, but he's a mess. There's tears flooding down his eyes, snot dripping from his nose, and there is blood everywhere.
You give him a smile, your best smile. To show him it's okay. But you know it's not. There's tears rolling down the side of your face now, and you sniff, trying to keep yourself together.
He notices the smile, the tears and his eyes widen.
"STOP! Please.. Y/N.. Stop. Just stop.. Stop smiling like EVERYTHING IS OKAY. YOU'RE NOT OKAY, YOU'RE NOT OKAY."
You lift your hand, and take his hand from the cloth he's still applying pressure to you on. You hold his hand, as tightly as you can.
"Scaramouche.. It's alright." He frowns, his mouth opening to say something, but you continue, stopping him.
"It's alright. Death is something that happens in life. It's natural. It comes to everyone. Everyone has their happy ever after, some of them don't. But having you with me, as.." You can't bring yourself to say the word.
No matter how much you wanted to die in the past, no matter how many times you've cursed at yourself for not being able to die, you can't bring yourself to say the word in front of him, while he's crying. You've never seen him cry, and seeing him cry right now, breaks your heart. You want to hug him, and comfort him. But you can't.
"The Kakushi.." he says, but he shakes his head, hiccupping and wiping his eyes.
"They won't be here in time.. The rock hit my.. Head.. Really.. Badly…" you smile at him, feeling the tears run down your ear.
"STOP BEING SO NEGATIVE. THEY WILL BE HERE.. SOON.." He yells at you, squeezing your hand.
You chuckle, scrunching your face in pain.
His hold on your hand loosens, afraid he's going to cause you even more pain.
"Hey.. Scara.. Mouchie.."
He looks at you, waiting for you to speak. He's always enjoyed talking to you. He's always enjoyed listening to you, ramble on about things that interest you. Scaramouche has always known that you overthink things quite easily, so he tries his best to be clear about things. Your voice, smile, and just you, has always cheered him up. But seeing you die? Right in front of him? When he can't do anything? How can he live? How can he live, with the regret that you died right in front of him, and he just watched you, snot dripping down his face, crying like a little baby?
You slowly lose your vision, and your eyes seem to be closing. You try your best to keep your eyes open, but you can't. Deep down, you just want to close your eyes to make the pain go away. Your eyelids are too heavy for you now.
"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. DON'T! KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN. DON'T LEAVE ME.. Please... Y/N.." He sobs through his words, wiping his noses, gently shaking you, still holding your hand. Having three people leave and betray him left him alone, but once he met you, he forgot all about them. He forgot all about his suffering. You bloomed a path into his heart, allowing him to express himself more, showing more of his self to people, and especially to you. What did he do to have you enter his life, and be the sunlight, he always looks forward to seeing?
Your hand goes limp, and he continues shaking you, sobbing. He continues to hold your hand, even when there's no warmth on your hand. He continues holding your hand, even when he knows, that you're already gone.
"Y/N.. Please.. Wake up.. "
Your whole body is cold, and limp. You're not moving at all, not even when he shakes you violently. He stares at your body. In horror, shock, denial. You're not actually dead, are you? You're just teasing him, aren't you?
"I want to hear you.. call me Scaramouchie.. once more.. please.."
"Anemo breathing, third form, Jade-Claimed flower."
A flower, the same design as the top of his hat, rises from beneath the demon, and folds itself in half with the demon in the middle of it, knocking out the demon. He takes a step to the unconscious demon. Rising his sword, he slashes the demons head off, its body crumbling away, as the ashes fly into the air. He slices his sword in the air, something he was always taught to remove the blood after a fight. He slowly puts his sword back into his scabbard, and looks around the scene. More Kakushi scurry onto the scene, helping the wounded and helping clean up the scene.
He turns around slowly, wondering why someone would talk to him, when there are severely wounded people who need attention.
His eyes widen slightly, and he seems to have been bought back to the first time he met her.
The same worried expression, like he's worrying if Scaramouche will be annoyed. She also used to have that expression whenever she asked for a favour, or for help with something.
"I uh.. I thank you.. Thank you for helping us.. I don't know if we would've been able to see the sun again if you hadn't arrived.." the young slayer bows, lower than a normal bow. Scaramouche looks in surprise, but his gaze softens. She also bowed like that when she apologized and thanked people..
Some of the Kakushi are secretly watching this scene now, as they continue cleaning up and helping the wounded. None of the new slayers ever dare walk up to Scaramouche due to his temper and cold personality. They've heard about him, as he's the most well respected among the Hashira, but the new slayers question that because of the stories they've heard about him, by people who have met him before.
Scaramouche takes a step to the young slayer, and places his hand on his head, and pats it gently. The young man is surprised by this, but he just stands there.
Scaramouche looks at the slayer, and gives a small smile. A genuine smile, but there is a hint of sorrow in his eyes as he smiles.
He takes his hand off the slayer's head, and walks off. All the Kakushi watch him leave, but continue with work, murmuring to each other. The young slayer turns and watches him, staring at him leave, but before he does leave, the young slayer yells something to Scaramouche, he's been wanting to tell him since he first saw him.
"I like your handguard.. A lotus flower.. It's beautiful."
Scaramouche stops for a second when he hears this. He's surprised the slayer noticed, and even commented on this. He smiles, just a bit. Scaramouche waves his hand, as he continues to walk out of the forest.
Once he has left Narukami Forest, he stares at the sun, shining down. He suddenly chuckles to himself, adjusting his hat.
"What an idiot.. Who bows that low?"
