#memory association

[asynca]

Hey asy, can I ask for your help with a really dumb fandom problem? someone in a fandom I'm part of has a blog that sometimes posted kinda mean and nasty stuff. I don't follow them anymore, but their avatar and username was a favorite character of mine from said fandom, and now it's hurting my ability to enjoy that character because every time I see the character's name or image, my first thought is of the nasty person. Am I just out of luck now? Is there anyway I can stop thinking about them?

You need to look up ways to break associative memories (google “break memory associations”). There’s loads of techniques out there and I vaguely remember at uni they taught us how effective of them can be. 

Truthfully I’ve never used them myself with clients - it’s just never come up in casework, so I’m probably not the best person to ask about them. 

I can also tell there’s some sort of unfinished business between you and the person you unfollowed. Perhaps if you finished that business it would help (whether that’s tell them you’re disappointed they turned out to be so nasty and mean that you needed to unfollow them, or telling them that you’re really upset they were mean about someone/something you really care about, or whatever it is)? Taking back power by confronting someone or discussing your differences with them can be enough to make that snap anger you feel at being reminded of that person a fading thing of the past <3

[maraleestuff]

It’s kinda cool the way that the brain can associate memories with other things. Like, I started a crochet project while binge watching Game of Thrones, so now I think about Game of Thrones whenever I’m crocheting

[verdanteraser]

association and civilization

like, i know people who were horrible to me, that i loved anyways. somehow, though, i still have the same order at panda express as the person i know realized used me for her version of pleasure through manipulation (when i thought she was my best friend) recommended the very first time i'd ever been there. i can't watch most animes because the high, squeaky voices (esp. in dub) remind me of the time i found a dying baby bird in middle school and held it until it passed. i cheat at burpees in gym class the same way i learned by watching the popular girls in elementary school. there are so many people I have known. there are so many people i WILL know. Somehow, by the time my life has run its course, i will have parts of every person I've ever met in me. that's what humanity is to me. "what is grief but love persevering." i would like to add to that "what is humanity without love persevering?" if a child was raised in such isolation, that they never saw another human, would they still be human? i've heard of children raised by animals that were eventually found by humans. most of the time these children lived the rest of their lives in asylums and in fear and pain, because they were seen as broken by the society the they found themselves in with no preparation or help. i wonder how many of these kids there have been. i wonder how many learned to talk in a human language eventually. i know oftentimes, the "foster family" of animals was often killed by the "rescuers" of those children, because "how could a child possibly be happy here, with no one but monsters for company?" ive gotten distracted. what i'm trying to say, is that humans need connection. we crave it. in this age of overconsumption and the internet, we find ourselves searching for someone, something to relate to. How do we know who we are? Are we anything, let alone alive, if we don't love? if we don't lose? I don't think so.

[etlu-yume]

cuRSEd sound associations

I know it's self inflicted but the second half of "Because of the times" by the Kings of Leon never freaking fails to resurrect the urge to start up a game of Harvest Moon or Stardew Valley or Story of Seasons.

Sometimes I hate memory associations T^T

[stingslikeabee]

Memory meme - darkness

Send me a word and my muse will reveal amemory that has to do with it.

Darkness [noun] devoid or partially devoid of light; not receiving, reflecting, transmitting, or radiating light.

We all live in the darkness, in a way - being underplate means that sunshine is but a dream to us all, but there is still some kind of light in the slums - the neon signs, the lamps that never go out. But I remember experiencing true, complete darkness once…

I was still a regular bee-girl; seeing the customers who booked me, entertaining them for the time they paid me to. Until, one day, I saw this man who appeared to be normal enough: smartly dressed, soft-spoken, a textbook gentleman. He was mostly keeping to himself while I undressed, until he removed his tie…

…And tried to choke me.

He was strong, way stronger than I first thought; and for a few brief moments, I started to see dark spots, my own blood beating loud in my ears. Looking back, I know now these were mere seconds, but at the time they stretched forever, turning into actual darkness - no light of any kind, cruel, cold and overpowering.

I felt darkness embracing me that night - and it’s a miracle it didn’t take me forever, really. I never wish to feel it again - ever. In a way… Makes me glad for the neon signs of the Wall Market, and the eternal light they provide in the slums.

[stingslikeabee-archive]

Complacent.

Send me a word and mymuse will reveal a memory that has to do with it.

Complacent [adjective] pleased, especiallywith oneself or one’s merits, advantages, situation, etc., often withoutawareness of some potential danger or defect; self-satisfied.

I was so damn proud ofmyself when I purchased the inn and got rid of Don Corneo’s influences – or soI believed. I gave a chance to every girl who was a fellow bee to walk away ifthey so desired; I fired all the leering, abusive men who worked there asguards, bartenders and the like. I started doing major renovations with theplace, transforming it in something better, more welcoming, classier.

I let go of the beecostume; after all, I was building myself a kingdom and I’d make sure to carrymyself like its ruler. I established a partnership with the Turks, I improvedmy networking, I started to make a lot of money with the additional informationbusiness. Things were going well – I heard laughter and giggles where painedsilence and forced smiles prevailed in the past.

Until one day.

I was roused from my bed byscreaming and crying girls, who promptly took me to one of the bedrooms of theinn. Inside, I found the mutilated corpse of one of my bees, her blood thenused as paint for a message on the wall.

you’re just a whorepretending to be better than everyone else

Sometimes, when I close myeyes, I can still see her dead eyes staring at me, paying the price for mycarelessness. I became so entranced with my role and so comfortable with itthat I forgot that people wouldn’t gladly accept it. Change is not alwayspeaceful.

I installed panic buttonsin every room after that, but it’s still not enough. No matter how much I tryto hide it, we’re still in the slums. I need to do better by these girls. Notbecause I’m better than anyone else, but because sometimes, I’m all they stillhave left.

[stingslikeabee-archive]

Euphoria.

Send me a word and my muse will reveal amemory that has to do with it.

Euphoria [noun] a state of intense happiness and self-confidence.

My backgroundhardly allowed for happiness; sure, there were always some cheerful momentswith my sisters when we played; or during the few times we found places toplant and cultivate vegetables and flowers in the slums. But I would not callit happiness, or even label it as intense… We were always surrounded by thepain, the indifference from above plate, the suffering of our neighbors – it wasfleeting and tainted by reality.

But when Ifinally learned how to read… It took me years to get there, of course. Iendured endless rough clients, sleepless nights and injuries, desperation andpain, whether from my colleagues or myself. But reading… That was an abilitymost people surely took for granted, but for me, it was an escape.

It was a door toa new world where anything was possible. The Honey Bee Inn no longer trapped meand I could transform into other people, travel to other places, live in othereras. It was freedom – the kind of freedom I never knew before. It allowed meto dream again, to fight back, to resist yielding even to the most hopelessfight.

I knew right thenthat I’d change my fate and become my own mistress - and nothing made me happier.

[rp-meme-central]

Send me a color, and my muse will tell about a memory that they associate with it.