Quiet [R.M.]
A/N: Hi! I’m alive and finally posting that Raul fic I’ve been talking about forever! Hope you’ll like it <3
Word count: 5822
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Nothing was more soothing than the smell of a book and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
You sat in the back of the bookstore with a cup of ginger tea, cozy in your favorite pair of light wash baggy jeans and a knitted deep green sweater. It was a good day at work, sales were going well and you were already done organising the stock room after this morning’s arrival.
Customers were patient when they came to this store, they enjoyed the atmosphere and looked around while waiting to buy the books they had picked. The owner of the store, Amanda, was in her thirties. You volunteered to help her because you came here to buy books every week when you were younger. She would have hired you, but you were too young for that at the time and the store didn’t work well enough for her to be able to provide a salary. Instead, she paid you in books and unlimited tea or coffee in the back.
Now that you were older your arrangement was still on, you were familiar with the place and sometimes kept the store open on your own. She officially hired you when she got pregnant, knowing that it was time for her to take a break and leave the store in good hands. Once the twins were born you remained at the store, taking on extra hours so that she could take care of her kids with her husband.
The twins were about to turn two, and the store was still your safe space. You had been out of school for just a year, which allowed you to work full time
“Honey,” Amanda popped her head into the back, making you look up from your book. “Do you mind closing up for me tonight? I’ll be in early tomorrow, there’ll be that new volunteer I told you about,”
“Of course, what time are you leaving?” You tried not to make a face at the reminder. The store didn’t need anyone else, you could handle it.
“In an hour,”
“That works,” you smiled, waiting until she had closed the door again to let your expression fall.
You had been sulking since you found out some guy named Raul would volunteer here for the next few months. This store was your safe space, you grew up here with your books rather than around people, and you’d like it to stay that way. Amanda was cheerful when she announced the news, telling you she had met the boy and that you’d probably be friends.
Friends. You didn’t have many of those. There was Cal, of course, the boy that grew up in the apartment across from yours with his mother, he was a year older than you and practically your brother. You didn’t spend much time with anyone else.
.
“Are you ready to meet mystery boy?” Cal asked you over the music you had put on in his bedroom. You were painting your nails and he was painting on a large canvas. It was his favorite activity, he enjoyed abstract things.
The carpet of his bedroom had long been replaced by easily washable tiles, so you were sitting on a rug to avoid the cold.
“There’s no need for a mystery boy,” you grumbled, closing the small glass bottle and putting it down on the floor.
“Amanda said it was more for him, he needs the volunteering experience. It’s not like he’d get a job, there’s no need for that when you’re around,”
“Still though,” you argued without moving your hands, making sure not to mess up your nails. “We’ve got things in hand, there’ll be nothing for him to do.”
“Amanda’s got twins at home, if he gets good I’m sure she’ll take some time off,”
“No, I don’t want to be left alone with him,” you whined, already imagining how awkward and annoying it would be.
“I’ll pop by during my break tomorrow. I’m sure he won’t be that bad,”
.
Raul was that bad. You knew you wouldn’t get along the second he made it through the door. You had come in early to open, Amanda only joined you ten minutes before Raul was due to arrive.
He walked in with a smile, greeting both of you before Amanda took over for all of the introduction while you fought the urge to go hide in the back. He was tall and good looking, it was obvious he knew it too, and you didn’t like it. His size made you feel small, he was everything you loathed. This was your space, your bookstore, your safety. He didn’t get to come in and make you feel intimidated.
You found out after he took his leather jacket off that he had a half sleeve of tattoos on his right arm. From what you could see about him so far, if you had to classify him as a typical book character you’d put him in the “asshole bad boy in need of character development” box.
You thought the day might be better when you realised the playlist Amanda had put to play through the bookstore was yours. One of your favourite songs was playing softly while customers talked together, it was familiar and nice, so Raul had to be the one to ruin it.
“So what’s your favorite book?” He asked you, opening boxes and stocking books next to each other.
“I don’t have a favorite.” You stacked the rest of the collection on the shelf, moving on to the next box. The beauty of reading was that you could get pulled into one story after the other just by opening a book. You didn’t like choosing favorites because it meant constantly comparing, you wanted to let yourself be amazed by new things all the time.
“Do you have a favorite song?” He tried to get something else out of you, but you didn’t want to talk, so you lied rather than answering.
“No.”
“How long have you worked here?” He continued to pry and you let out a long sigh.
“Six years.” You kept your answer as short as possible.
“You’re not very talkative.” He observed, pausing his work to look at you, only to be met with a glare.
“Oh you noticed?” Your voice dripped with sarcasm as you replied, his incessant questions getting on your nerves. Stocking shelves was easy and quiet, there was no need for his stupid small talk. It was obvious that you were too different, you’d have no common interests and any conversation would just get awkward.
You finished up with your box with practiced ease and left Raul to do the rest. It was easy enough that he didn’t need you around. You did everything you could to be away from him for the rest of the day, telling Amanda you’d take care of payments because then at least Raul would have to do something else, preferably on the other side of the store.
Cal eventually came by to save the day, and you were more than grateful when you saw him walk through the door.
“My hero,” you took the little brown bag from Cal’s hand when he reached the cash register where you were currently sitting. The store was quiet so he wasn’t bothering anyone, and Raul was busy organising the display.
“Figured I needed to bring something to get you in a good mood,” he grinned in response. “Quiet day?”
“So far,” you hummed, taking in the sweet smell of the pastry he brought over. “Are you staying long? I can make you coffee,”
“I’m good, I’ve got a few things to do at home so I can’t really hang out, but come over after you close up, okay?”
“Sure,” you smiled and he waved as he left.
Despite the interaction being brief you were glad he took the time to stop by. If you had really been having a bad day he might have stayed longer, but since you were slowly getting used to Raul there was no need for him to ditch his other responsibilities.
You finished up some paperwork to get through the day, and before you knew it Raul was out the door and you were cleaning the store before closing.
You didn’t spend long at Cal’s that night, you only gave him a summary of how much of an asshole you thought Raul was and he laughed at you. To be fair, he was probably right to, you were judging the guy based on a first impression and he really hadn’t done much except ask you a few annoying questions. You just had a bad feeling and you refused to think any good of him until he proved he was better than he seemed.
Raul, being the perfect person to get on your nerves, proved he was better rather quickly. First, he tried your ginger tea when the box was close to empty, and he replaced it before it was even finished. You had forgotten to bring a spare box from home that morning, so you mumbled a thank you to him for being mindful. There was no way for you to get through a day without tea.
Then, he did a lot of things silently. As soon as he got the hang of the job he stopped asking questions and slid things towards you without a word when you looked like you didn’t want to talk. He surprised you the most when he slid a cup of tea towards you as you sat at the register and took payment from a few clients.
“Do you not want it?” He asked when he saw the bewildered look you were giving him.
“N-no, I do. Thanks,” You placed it somewhere you wouldn’t spill it before scanning the next book.
Raul was gone when you looked to the side again, and you shook your head before moving onto the next customer. Maybe he wasn’t horrible.
Two weeks went by before Amanda made her announcement to you. Since Raul worked well and you could handle pretty much anything, she decided to take more days off and left you alone with him most of the time. You weren’t dreading it as much as you had before you met him, but you weren’t delighted either.
This was the only place you were truly comfortable. You lived in a nice small town, everything was within walking distance, people knew each other, and you had your quiet peaceful place in the bookstore. You didn’t like it when things changed, Amanda was one of the rare people you felt safe with, and while being left with Raul was temporary, you worried someone would eventually replace him. What if that person was worse? What if Amanda didn’t keep the store and moved somewhere closer to the beach like she always said she liked? What would you do then?
You were in an awful mood on your birthday less than a week later. Amanda wasn’t there, you’d have to work all day with Raul, and Cal was busy so you’d see each other at night. You wished he could at least come hang out at the store for a while, but you knew he had other responsibilities.
“Happy birthday,” Raul chimed when he walked in less than ten minutes after you had reached the store. The door was unlocked although the sign still clearly said ‘closed’ and you almost wished you had locked it behind you. “Here,” he handed you a rather large plastic container and a wrapped gift.
“Thanks,” you looked at him in surprise. You felt bad for being in such a bad mood when he was making some obvious efforts to be nice. “How did you know?”
“Amanda mentioned it a few days ago,” he shrugged. “Try those,” he opened the container for you and prompted you to take a brownie.
You bit into it and almost moaned at the taste.
“Did you bake those?” You had never eaten a brownie that good before. You always found them too dry, or too dense, or even too sweet. These were perfectly balanced and chewy.
“Uh? Fuck no, my mom made them,” Raul placed them on the table near your tea so that you could eat them later.
“Tell her thank you,” you smiled, chocolate clearly was the key to your heart. You picked up the gift next, wondering what kind of book he could have gotten you.
As you tore the paper to reveal what it was, you were surprised to find a notebook. It was the exact same one you had at the moment, but it was another colour and had beautiful embroidered flowers on the cover.
“It’s gorgeous, thank you so much,” you opened it to feel the paper. Dotted pages. Just what you liked to write and doodle on. “This is perfect,”
“You’re welcome,” Raul’s cheeks turned a little pink, but you didn’t make much of it as he moved on from the conversation and began asking you all kinds of things about this morning’s delivery.
Your birthday went by much better than you had expected when you got up. Raul barely got on your nerves and you could almost say you were starting to become friends.
That, of course, didn’t last more than a week.
While your birthday had been a success he lost all of your respect the day his friends came to the store.
The day you first met Raul you had immediately thought the worst of him, but a small part of you still hoped he would be a good person. With his friends that small part of you was nonexistent.
The boys were loud even from the other end of the store, they sounded, looked and behaved like entitled assholes. You didn’t really recognise them because you never talked to many people back in high school, but you had seen them around back then, bullying other kids in the cafeteria.
Even almost a year later in your own same space they made your stomach churn. Seeing Raul with them was like a punch in the gut.
“She looks about as interesting as that thing,” one of the guys pushed one of the books on the shelves slightly out of place.
“Stop, she’s nice,” Raul defended you, which redeemed him in your eyes just a little.
“Dude, are you whipped for the nerd?” A louder voice exclaimed through the store.
You looked down at what you were doing and kept on working. If you could have disappeared then, you would have.
“Shut up,” Raul laughed loudly with his friends, breaking your heart a little further. “I’ve got better to do than spend my life sitting on a couch reading books, not my type,” he snickered while your cheeks burned with shame.
“No one’s type,” One of them chuckled a little more quietly, but you still heard him and let your hair fall in front of your face as you finished cashing off your last payment.
It was embarrassing how easily Raul could ruin everything for you. This was his fault, he pretended to be nice, he made you think you were worthy of making a new friend and then went and proved you wrong.
The rejection stung a little bit more than usual, maybe it was because this time you had thought someone different could truly find you interesting and you never allowed yourself to have that much hope before.
The second you were done, you hurried to hide in the back. Amanda saw you come in and cut her break short to take over with customers without question. She had seen that look on your face before, so she knew better than to try and talk to you until you had time alone to calm down.
You stumbled and sat in a corner of the room with your jaw clenched. Your comfort book was in your hands, the pages worn out and the cover a little torn. It was familiar. Your fingers trembled as you pulled the bookmark out to resume your reading where you left it last time you felt like this. It helped you focus. You knew you’d be fine if only you could clear your head for a little while.
You wanted to get rid of the shame, but you wanted to keep the anger. Raul had no right to speak that way. He couldn’t walk in here, read your favorite books, ask you for recommendations and then make fun of you for liking said books. It wasn’t fair. He couldn’t just walk into this store, into your life, and then just ruin it all without a care. It took years for you to build this space of comfort and safety for yourself, you couldn’t let him destroy it so easily.
.
For two weeks Raul didn’t hear a word from you unless absolutely necessary. You answered him when it was work related and remained silent about everything else. He looked hurt by the treatment you were giving him, but not confused.
“So,” he tried to get your attention again, and you barely looked at him. “Which should I read first?” He held up two Brontë classics in front of you.
Wuthering Heights was the obvious answer, but instead of naming a title you finally snapped at him.
“Don’t you have something better to do than spend your life reading books?” You reused his own words.
To say Raul was shocked was an understatement. He had never seen you react in any way close to aggressive before, so this sudden change made him take a small step back while he stuttered.
“That’s…I- I didn’t mean it like that, you always give me good things to read,” he lamely tried to appease you, but you were done with his fake niceties.
“Careful with these ones,” You nodded towards the books and continued. “Might turn you into a nerd, and then you won’t be anyone’s type, right?”
You stormed off on him then, going to take care of boxes in the storage room so that he’d leave you alone, but Raul wasn’t letting you off that easily.
“Hey, hey wait!” He bounced after you, almost throwing himself in front of the door to stop you from leaving. “What’s going on now? They were just saying stupid shit,” he tried only to receive a look from you that made him take a deep breath. “Okay, listen,” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know they suck, and maybe I suck too for not telling them off.”
“If you think they suck why are they your friends?” You crossed your arms over your body.
“They’re not my friends, they’re just on my soccer team,”
“Looks like you all bonded pretty well,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes at the pathetic excuse.
“I’m sorry,” He put his hand on your arm, tentatively trying to get you to listen and open up to him again. You used to be like this when he met you, and days after he fucked up he cruelly missed the way you had been once you relaxed around him. “You’re right, it was hurtful and I shouldn’t have laughed along. I promise I won’t speak like that again, and I won’t let other people do it either,”
“Good for you,” you gave him no sign of forgiveness or even accepting his apology. Raul waited a few more seconds, looking into your eyes and waiting to see if you’d say more.
“I like you.” He dropped the words unceremoniously, like they were not the most unanticipated words in history.
“What?” You stepped back from him, frowning with confusion written all over your face. Was this really the card he was trying to pull now?
“I like you. I don’t think you’re no one’s type, and I don’t think it sucks to spend a lot of time reading. I think it makes you way smarter than me, and you’re great. Please, forgive me,”
“Grow up Raul.” You shook your head, somehow even more hurt by the way he was handling this apology than by his previous actions. “Being mean to a girl because you like her is a really shitty excuse.”
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Another week passed before Raul slid a book in front of you to make you look up from the one you were reading.
“Have you read this?” He asked as you studied the cover, trying to figure out if you had noticed it before. You always made mental notes of what books you wanted to read in each new delivery and then promptly forgot to read most of them because there were too many.
“No,” you replied because this one was new and you hadn’t even gotten a chance to look at it yet.
“I really liked it, I thought maybe you would too,” he bit his lip and scratched the back of his neck, wondering if you were about to tell him to fuck off because you still had every right to.
“Well look at you recommending me books,” you were truly surprised, in the best way possible. He clearly relaxed when you said that, regaining some confidence as he answered.
“I like to call it growth,” Raul winked. “Or a start, at least,” he continued with a small smile that you returned.
The battle wasn’t over yet, but he took it as a victory.
Continuing with his efforts, Raul did his best to keep talking to you without bothering you, and eventually the incident got sent to the back of your mind. You enjoyed spending time with him, he had apologised and his actions showed that maybe he did deserve a second chance.
The shop ran well even when Amanda was away, and she had already mentioned offering Raul a contract once his volunteering time was over. You weren’t as annoyed with the idea as when you had first imagined finishing in this situation. Raul had disturbed your space when he first came to work with you, but now that you were used to him he had become part of it.
.
“Hey listen,” Raul got your attention one Friday afternoon. “Me and my brothers are having people over tomorrow night and I figured, well, would you like to come?”
“You mean like a party?” You had only ever heard about his brothers and friends, you never expected to meet them, especially not at a party.
“It’s something small, maybe like eight people,” he tried to not make a big deal out of it so that you could be interested, but the soft rejection he received didn’t surprise him when you replied.
“Thank you, but I don’t think I’ll join.”
“They’re nothing like the guys that came here last time,” Raul knew your answer wouldn’t change, but he still felt the need to mention it.
“I’m not worried about that,” you gave him a reassuring smile. You were over the whole incident now. “I just… I don’t know any of your friends,”
“I get it, it’s okay. Let me know if you change your mind.” He left you there to pick up his work, unaware that he had given you something to overthink for the whole day.
.
By some miraculous act of bravery you went back on your words and told Raul you’d come over. It felt amazing to have done that until you were at home later that evening overthinking absolutely everything about this party. How were you supposed to dress? What should you bring? Was it okay if you baked something or were they expecting you to bring alcohol?
“Cal I can’t believe I said yes to a party,” you whined into the phone minutes later. “I can’t go!” You paced around your bedroom as you talked. There wasn’t much space so you were just walking two to three steps back and forth; it only made you more nervous but you couldn’t bring yourself to sit still.
“Of course you can,” he only laughed on the other end of the line. “You just have to decide you want to, and I don’t think you’d be calling me if you didn’t,”
“I don’t know how I’ll feel when I get there.” You chewed on the inside of your cheek.
“Your friendship with Raul is still going to be there outside of work, and if there’s anything you’re allowed to just leave, you know?”
“I guess, yeah,” you sighed and gave in, flopping down into your bean bag with a disconcerted grunt.
A whole night would have to be enough for you to think of an outfit.
.
When you made it to the house there were only two cars in the driveway, one of which you recognised the Jeep the triplets shared. Raul rarely had it, he was always complaining that Peter hogged it to visit new places and take pictures, but it was only fair since he lived close enough to walk to the bookstore.
You had never seen his brothers apart from a few pictures, so you knew the three looked strikingly familiar, but it didn’t stop the look of surprise from spreading on your face when Shawn opened the front door seconds after you rang the doorbell. If it hadn’t been for the guitar tattoo on his arm you would have never been able to tell which one he was.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” He pulled you into a tight hug without hesitation.
“Shawn, leave the poor girl alone! She doesn’t need you clinging to her!” His brother exclaimed from behind him. He was the only one with even white skin on his arms.
“It’s okay,” you smiled although you were thankful for Peter’s save. He offered you a handshake rather than a hug, and you already felt like you were going to get along with him.
“Come on, I’ll show you around,” he walked just a step in front of you and began to take you around the house.
It was fairly large, which Peter explained had been necessary when the three of them became teenagers and began to fight a little too much because they had to share a room.
“Well, my parents didn’t care when we argued, y’know? That’s normal kid stuff,” He said and you nodded though you grew up without siblings and had no idea what he meant. “But we had those really thin walls and then one day there was a dent in the wall the shape of Raul’s body so let’s just say they realised we’d need our own bedrooms from that point,”
“Raul was the one who got pushed around?” Your eyebrows raised in surprise, to which Peter laughed.
“Trouble usually started and ended with Raul.”
“Talking about me?” He popped up behind you and a smile spread on your face.
Maybe Shawn and Peter were hard to differentiate, but it was because they lacked some of Raul’s unique features that had become familiar to you. He looked different from them in your eyes, and he was the only one you were sure you could tell apart easily.
Three other people made it to the house once Peter was done with his little tour, and you realised Raul had been right. His brothers and friends were all welcoming and you grew more comfortable as the night progressed. He stayed with you until you had enough time with Peter to discover he was the complete opposite of Raul.
You had taken a liking to him instantly, but it wasn’t until you started gushing about book characters with him and discussing theories that you realised how much you had in common.
You were shocked with the differences between the three brothers, but seeing the way they all got along was even more of a wonder. It was only then that you understood the guys that came into the store and insulted you really hadn’t been friends with Raul. Peter was just like you and you knew Raul would never dare make fun of his brother’s interests, as he wouldn’t with yours.
“So you get on each other’s nerves but you still spend all your time together?” You clarified what Peter was babbling on about to try and explain how much he hated but loved his brothers.
“I mean yeah, especially since Raul quit soccer,” he went on about yet another story of an evening camping, and you laughed at all the right times though your mind wasn’t focused on him anymore.
You silently thanked Shawn when he came over to say something to Peter so that you could excuse yourself and escape to the kitchen.
“You quit soccer,” you leaned against the doorframe, watching as Raul piled some of the empty pizza boxes on the counter.
“Didn’t like the team much,” he shrugged like it was no big deal, turning to you and nodding off to the door that led outside. “And there’s this great girl I know, she’s been recommending me books and now reading takes up all my free time,”
Your heart skipped a beat and you wished you could blame it on the fresh air you were hit with when you stepped out after him. “You think I’m great?”
“Of course I do,” he watched the surprise in your eyes, a hint of a smile on his lips because he thought you were adorable when you didn’t know what to say to a compliment. “You really don’t give yourself enough credit,”
“I haven’t really been told that before.” You looked down, unable to hold his stare, but Raul took your hands in his.
“Well that sucks, there’s tons of great things about you,” he didn’t let you feel down for another second. He could see you didn’t believe him, so he pulled his thoughts together as quickly as he could and began listing all of the things that made him think you were amazing. “You know random scientific facts, you’ve read historical novels on murderers and architects and about every kind of thing,” he stated, making you look up at him. “I haven’t read anything you write but I know you always use the right words and get your point across. You have characters in your heart that have shaped your personality into this kind, funny, clever and amazing person and you deserve all the credit in the world for that. You know about everything,” he continued. “And you deserve to take space with that knowledge because I genuinely believe you’re the only person smart enough to run the world.”
You had to physically stop yourself from gaping like a fish, but there was nothing you could do against the tears that were pooling in your eyes. Raul gave you a moment to reply, watching as you stood there without blinking in hopes that your eyes would dry before he could see you were so emotional you wanted to cry.
“I- I really don’t know what to say,” you eventually stammered.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he gave your fingers a squeeze. “I just want you to know you shouldn’t doubt how great you are.”
The best you could do was nod as he took another step closer, towering over you without ever breaking eye contact. He was so close you could feel his warmth, smell the cologne lingering on his shirt when he should have smelt like sweat and pizza, but he was Raul, with his perfectly gorgeous eyes that pulled you in and made you forget everything else around you.
He was all you could feel. Slow breaths fanned over your skin when he leaned in, quieter than the music coming from the house and yet they were the only thing you could hear. His lips came dangerously close to yours, warm, pink and perfectly soft, but it wasn’t until the tip of his nose brushed yours that you reacted.
You jerked your head back a little in surprise and babbled quickly. “Raul! I- uh, I’ve never-” Your heart hammered in your chest, making you want to die of embarrassment.
He wanted to kiss you. Everything had gone in slow motion, the kind of perfect thing you had read about in books and thought could never happen, and you had to go and be awkward and ruin it.
“You haven’t had a first kiss?” Raul guessed, every bit as calm and slow in his actions as he had been a few seconds ago. He didn’t look at you like you were crazy, there was no disappointment in his eyes. Instead, his thumbs were rubbing soothingly over your hands and he was waiting for you to calm down.
You nodded shyly, unsure of what else to tell him. You got caught off guard and panicked, but you did want to kiss him.
“Would it be okay for me to be that first?” He bit the inside of his cheek nervously, getting another nod from you.
His hand was disproportionately big compared to your face when he went to cup your cheek. You went warm all over just from that touch, but you didn’t jerk away from it this time. You leaned into his touch, a slow breath leaving your lips as you willed yourself to just focus on him.
“How should I...” You felt your cheeks burn from being so clueless, but Raul didn’t laugh at you.
“It’s okay, here,” He guided your hand up to his shoulder and you instinctively linked both of your hands behind his neck. “Just… just close your eyes, yeah?”
You didn’t say anything, anticipation and nervousness coursing through your body as you let your eyelids fall shut and you waited for him to make a move. Raul was taking his time, and the moment felt like it was dragging on forever.
His breath was warm on your skin when he brushed his nose against yours again, waiting to see how you’d react this time. When he was sure you didn’t want to pull away, he crossed the rest of the distance and his lips met yours with a firm pressure.
There was no hesitancy in what he was doing. Your heart skipped a beat at how soft his lips were, and without thinking, you moved yours to kiss him back. Your heart beat so fast you could feel the blood rush at your temples, but it wasn’t until Raul smiled against your lips that the butterflies erupted in your stomach.
His hand slid from your cheek to the back of your neck, gently threading through your hair as he pulled away with the widest smile you had ever seen on his face.
“Was that alright?” He asked softly, in awe at the brightness of your eyes.
“Yeah,” you sounded out of breath already, so you cleared your throat for a second before you continued. “You think you could do that again?”
“I don’t know,” He teased. “You think I can call you my girlfriend?”
“Yes,” you nodded rapidly. “Yes you can.”
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