What do you like to do for fun, what are your values, your purpose, what are your triggers,etc. We get so wrapped up in the small shit in life and if we deviate too much from the path we create another path out of desperation or necessity. I recently went down to Biloxi Mississippi for 2 months for some training and I originally went down there with the wrong mindset; to be better than everyone else, not socialize, keep to myself and be a lame; if I'm being all the way 100. Well, there was one gentleman that insisted on Me going out and I kept lying to myself until I finally gave in. I had a blast and really found out that I liked dancing lol. Not to mention that I danced with all the woman in the club it felt like. Big or small, old or older, I was moving!!! And at the end of the night I finished dancing with this young gal who was very interested in me; I believe she was with a bridal party. She was very curious about me and we had a great conversation while we danced. Her friends eventually pulled her to go do something and she waited like "Well are you going to ask me for my number?" I didn't, mainly because my intentions were to not have any intentions or agenda and just to have fun. Never to be seen again. I appreciated the dance and the conversation. Carpe Diem! After that night, I had the itch like a mother fucker. I cracked open my notepad or my Iphone and I took inventory on what brought me happiness. I also looked at the list of me which outlined my triggers, values, goals, etc. The main question I asked myself is how am I this far from where I was when I wrote this shit? The simple answer, life. With my current situation, I couldn't see the forest through the trees and I was standing right in the center of the forest. Hell, it was even sunny as all hell and I couldn't see the forest. That's ok. I laugh about it now, but during the height of my situation I became this surviving, numb, dude that wasn't who people knew. I motivated others. I made others laugh. I had fun. I was Evan. Not this wanna be. In closing. Be true to yourself. Know yourself. And if someone can't accept that and you find yourself changing your DNA just for them to be happy....How can I put this? Fuck them and the horse they rode on. Even if it's someone you once loved. Peace!
