#mer!alec

[faejilly]

last for sh mer!fic? ☺️

[writing meme]

And somehow Izzy is standing in the hallway staring at a locked door and she can't hear her mother or her brother anymore.

"What the fuck."

[faejilly]

so, since complaining about with an if in its soul while I was writing it seemed to end up with one of the better fics I've written actually finished and posted

AND

since pages/words are a terrible way to track things for me because of all the hopping between WIPs I do, I think I'm going to try a time goal for Camp NaNo this April.

And maybe even post about it?

I'm going to do my #MerMay fics from like two years ago, since if it *works* they'll then be all ready to beta/post! Whee! And if not, well, at least then I'll be in the mood to binge all the slightly creepy mermaid art that usually shows up. :D

[faejilly]

writing meme for malec: NEXT for the mermaid!alec wip (the angst one) and/or FIRST for the amnesia!Magnus wip

[no excuses writing meme]

NEXT: Is actually a line in the middle of this bit, so again you get a whole chunk instead of just a sentence? It’s not terribly angsty atm. sorry?

"Morning," Alec's smile widens, just a little, his voice still slow and syrupy with sleep. 

Magnus can't help but smile back, though there's an anxious burn in the back of his throat, the thought of all the things they ought to figure out how to talk about. "Day off, no arguing"

"Did you think I would?" Alec's eyebrows lift, about half as much as usual, his voice low and soft.

Magnus raises a brow.

Alec sighs, as if to concede the point. "No arguing, promise."

FIRST for the amnesia!fic is also the sequel to with an if in its soul so: 

Alec grinned across the courtyard at Jace, exchanged quick glances with Izzy and Clary. The setting sun was still warm on his shoulders, the back of his shirt was stuck to his back with sweat. His thighs ached, he could feel the first bloom of bruises under his skin, his throat was too dry; he hadn't felt this good in ages.

He felt more alive than he had since... well, since he'd woken up in a mausoleum.

[faejilly]

👀

[end of year WIP meme]

hmmm. I really wanted to do another mer!Alec story for MerMay this year... I didn’t manage it (yet?) but there are some bits and pieces.

Magnus wakes up to the cool light of false dawn, blinking his eyes open to see Alec, heavy-lidded eyes just barely open, mouth half-smiling, his thumb rubbing back and forth along the side of Magnus' hand. 

"Morning," Alec's smile widens, just a little, his voice still slow and syrupy with sleep. 

"Day off, no arguing"

"Did you think I would?"

Magnus raised a brow.

Alec’s smile turns rueful. "No arguing, promise."

"Tell me about being a merman."

"I don't know where to start."

"Can I see?"

Alec tilts his head and looks down at the sheets and blankets, warm and creased and comfortable. "Here?"

Magnus attempts to shrug, though he's not sure how well it works lying down. "Why not? Unless." He wriggles up higher on his pillows, so he can see Alec's face. "Is it hard to change back and forth when you're not in the water?"

"Not. Really?" Alec's shrug looks almost helpless, and Magnus hates it, that he's been set up like this, to not know so much about himself, with no clear way to learn, with consequences if he tries too hard to figure it out. "It's not comfortable being dry for too long, but it's not...  I won't choke or get sick or anything." 

"You sound uncertain. We don't have to do this now?"

"I want to."

Magnus smiles, lost and warm and helpless. He never can resist Alec's straightforward determination to always do whatever Magnus might want or need of them. "I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable."

Alec smiles back, and lifts a hand to settle his palm against Magnus' cheek, warm and soothing. "You could never."

"Well then." Magnus exhales, short and hard, tries to collect his thoughts. "Do you have trouble changing on consecrated ground?"

"No. Well." Alec frowns. "I never had trouble changing in my personal quarters, or the family quarters when I was growing up, but I've never tried anywhere else in the Institute, or in an active church or graveyard." He trails off, and his lips twitch. "Aren't a lot of those on the bottom of the ocean, so far as I know."

"Point." Magnus nods, and feels his smile widen. "But that would reinforce the assumption that, if there is demonic magic in the mer, it's integrated and stable, like the Seelie, rather than an infection like Vampires or Werewolves."

Alec nods in agreement. "If mer had to infect people to keep going, we'd probably have heard more of them the last hundred years or so, and they wouldn't have been able to hide so well."

[faejilly]

WHAT IF?!

YOU DIDN’T PICK A FIC OR FANDOM. (I can’t even go by one we share because I don’t think we have any major overlaps atm?) I mean, I did say I’d just pick a random one though, if that happened.

uh. random.org got me mer!alec, so. the only (worst) what-if I can think of is what if Magnus didn’t figure out Alec was Cursed. (For anyone who hasn’t read it, the only thing you really need to know is that the Trueblood line was cursed a long time ago, and it occasionally still shows up in their children. Part of the curse is that they can’t tell anyone who doesn’t already know... so Alec and Maryse are both effected, but not even Izzy or Jace or Max know about it, because they’re not part of it. But Magnus noted there was something weird going on, and tried to ask... and Alec can’t answer.)

Alec couldn’t move. And for once it wasn’t just his fault, his own doubt, his own second thoughts. He could feel the familiar weight of the Curse wrapping around him, tendrils digging into his arms and legs, tighter around his hips, his throat, almost burning. He could taste sea-salt in the back of his throat.

Magnus stared at him, waiting for an explanation, a reason, an apology for whatever it was he was clearly hiding.

Alec couldn’t even close his eyes, couldn’t look away from the dawning resignation and anger and grief rising behind Magnus’ eyes.

The water in the tub was still shifting from Magnus climbing out so quickly, and the quiet lap of water against the porcelain, once one of Alec’s favorite sounds, had quickly shifted to something like torture.

Magnus straightened up, the firmness of his expression making it impossible to mistake his nudity for vulnerability. “I’m going out. I expect you to be gone by the time I get back. And to stay gone, until you decide to explain...” His voice cracked, a hint of the pain he was in trying to escape. He defaulted to a wave of his hand, encompassing all of Alec.

He turned around and walked out of the bathroom.

Alec could close his eyes now. 

He did, and he waited, waited, waited until he could tell Magnus was gone, waited until he could move without breaking, without screaming.

He’d never be able to explain.

He should have known that he couldn’t, wouldn’t, would never get...

He drained the tub. He threw the bath salts in the trash. He went carefully through the loft, finding everything of his he’d ever brought, ever left, every careless care-free moment gathered together in one haphazard pile. Every hope, every step closer together, every chance at...

He didn’t have a duffel bag here. He grabbed a couple trash bags instead.

Appropriate enough.

Magnus had put the omamori charm, slightly worn and the edges soft from handling, on the kitchen counter.

Alec left it there.

He put the Lightwood ring in its box next to the charm. He couldn’t explain, he couldn’t have this, he knew that, but he couldn’t ever give that ring to anyone else, couldn’t bear to pass it on to anyone else, not even Izzy or Max.

It was Magnus’, even if he never understood why.

I’m sorry, he thought, but he knew that wasn’t enough.

It never was.

He gathered up his bags, and left. He felt the wards slam shut behind him, and knew he wouldn’t be able to get back in.

He stopped, and looked up at the top of the building, the familiar bank of windows, the edges of the fire-escape, the corner that hid the balcony from the view of the street.

Good-bye.

[faejilly]

Hello! In your Alec! Mermaid au you said there was 4 part but we only saw 2 or did I miss a post? Also I just imagined Magnus explaining to the future Trueblood generation what is happening to them if ¡IF! there was no one else to tell them my heart breakin a little...

Actually, while I have a (very vague?) outline for four parts, I have only posted one of them! (I am hoping to get part 2 done for MerMay again, but then again I originally thought I had a shot of getting part 2 done for MerMay last year, so who knows?) I did post a smut!fic that is supposed to be in part 2; if not, I may make a ficlet collection for them and stick it in there later.

I suppose I’ll probably move the AU over there too if that happens. WE SHALL SEE. Maybe? Hopefully.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯