felt like absolute dogshit all day despite getting a lot done and checked my meds log and sur enough just completely skipped my pyridostigmine today!! fucking idiot!!! although it's interesting to note that despite feeling really really bad physically i was still able to power through, which as ive noted is the single most important status buff you can have as a cripple, because it reduces the penalty on every other problem across the board.
this is what non-cripple people dont and cant understand about it: there is a huge difference between feeling like boiled dogshit, being in pain, and having a migraine or whatever but still being able to force yourself to walk around and pick up objects (this is how normal people think about and experience the concepts of 'pain' and "injury" until they get long covid or get old or hit by a bus), and the alternative, which is feeling exactly as bad in exactly the same ways BUT somehow not being able to force yourself to walk around and pick up objects. of course mental health is a consideration here usually but not in my case, something cured my depression a while ago and im not sure what it was, possibly brain injury. i kind of just got bored of it really. i tried a dozen antidepressants and they were all useless bullshit so i concluded if none of the treatments for depression were curing my problems i probably wasnt actually depressed. anyway. im not sad or very crazy anymore. sad/crazy brothers and sisters and siblings have to also deal with a third thing. actually, officially 'not medical advice' but: if you are sad/crazy and also chronically ill and have found that brain meds just dont work so whatever, i would cautiously advise maybe telling your medical providers from now on that you are definitely not sad or crazy anymore. the quality of my medical care has improved significantly since i started just denying that i had any brain problems because it cuts off one of the usual Bad Doctor Bullshit Exits: telling you that you're 'depressed' and that you're someone else's problem now. sorry doc but im normal. i'm your problem actually.
so i think my observation that pyridostigmine has cumulative effects even after the dose is no longer active is holding true. if you have similar problems as myself and bounced off pyridostigmine before, i encourage you to lower your dose and try it again, because if you can get it working it REALLY can work, for many people, but the introductory period is rough for a lot of us.
