#methadone maintenance

[hidragonfly]

PART FOUR

Maybe now is a good time to discuss my relationship with drugs. When I was little I idolized drugs, everyone in my family did them and growing up I thought it was completely normal. When I was 11 (2006) I went to stay with a relative because most my family was going out of town for a funeral. My older sister, Kim, came over to keep me company and she had weed. She asked if I wanted to smoke and I jumped at the chance. I was so excited to see what it was like. From that day forward I loved weed. I would go to my sisters house every weekend to drink and smoke. One of those nights I tried coke for the first time. I did not understand the hype, I liked the numb feeling it gave me but that was about all. Once I met people my own age who were into smoking I made a ton of friends. I had the “cool house” where we could get away with smoking weed and cigs or sneak out at night. My best friend at the time, Kylie, and I would tell our families we were at each other’s houses and would really go to parties with high schoolers and stay up all night. When I was 14 in 2008 I tried Shrooms for the first time. I absolutely loved it. Kylie and I sat in my bedroom listening to the Grateful Dead, Widespread Panic, and Sublime until the sun came up and then went out and danced with the flowers in my yard. All my experiences with drugs up to this point were positive and I thought I’d smoke weed forever. I took ecstasy for the first time when I was 15 and thought it was the most amazing feeling ever. I viewed my entire life and future thru the lense of drugs and I didn’t see anything wrong with it.

Of course my mom being in and out of jail, on the run or using should have made me steer far away from drugs or at least opiates. Unfortunately it didn’t.

[juniperpublishersbioequival-blog]

Book Review 'Mencegah, Merawat Dan Memulihkan Penagih Dadah: Beberapa Pendekatan Dan Amalan Di Malaysia' (Malay Version) | Juniper Publishers

Written by Mahmood Nazar Mohamed, efforts to treat and rehabilitate drug addicts should be continued by seeking more effective treatment procedures and methods. With reduced dependency on drugs, then intergratically, other ancillary problems have also been resolved such as criminal behavior, antisocial and other miscellaneous activities. In this regard, it is the responsibility of all parties involved, whether government agencies, NGOs or researchers to identify and implement more effective treatment and remedial methods. The Malaysian government has taken an active and decisive step in 2003 to combat drug abuse completely. Therefore, in 2003 it was gazetted as the Year of Fighting Drug Outpatient. All parties have been called upon to mobilize to achieve these objectives for mutual prosperity.

https://juniperpublishers.com/mabb/MABB.MS.ID.555578.php

[i-am-kitturs-blog]

I will be free!

It's finally happened I'm stable on my dose! Now to work on going down. I am SIX MONTHS heroin free!!!? It's so awesome. To say I'm clean and bot have a guilty conscience.

[yeoldemethadoneclinic]

On June 1, 2015 I went into labor. Contractions were regular but still spaced apart - I decided to go dose at the clinic. By the time I got to the clinic shit was getting real. I went into the dosing room and the dispensary nurse eyed my huge overdue pregnant belly and asked if I was going to have the baby anytime soon. The dispensary nurses had all gotten to know me throughout my pregnancy and were rooting for me. That day I was finally able to say, "I'm in labor RIGHT NOW!" The look on his face was priceless. The baby wouldn't be born until the following day after 30+ hours of traumatic labor. Yesterday was my methadone baby's 1st birthday. She is way ahead on her milestones, super smart, sassy, funny, and absolutely amazing.

[methadonesaveslives]

I destroy homes, tear families apart, take your children, and that's just the start. I'm more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold, the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold, and if you need me, remember I'm easily found. I live all around you, in schools and in town. I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door. My power is awesome; try me you'll see, but if you do, you may never break free. Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I'll own your soul. When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie. You do what you have to just to get high. The crimes you'll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms. You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad. When you see their tears, you should feel sad. But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised, I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways. I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from God, and separate from friends. I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I'll be with you always, right by your side. You'll give up everything your family, your home, your friends, your money, then you'll be alone. I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give. When I'm finished with you you'll be lucky to live. If you try me be warned this is no game. If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.I'll ravish your body; I'll control your mind. I'll own you completely; your soul will be mine. The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed, the voices you'll hear from inside your head, the sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see; I want you to know, these are all gifts from me. But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part. You'll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you. You knew this would happen. Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold. You could have said no, and just walked away. If you could live that day over, now what would you say? I'll be your master; you will be my slave, I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave. Now that you have met me, what will you do? Will you try me or not? Its all up to you. I can bring you more misery than words can tell. Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.

[methadonesaveslives]

[methadonesaveslives]

This quote definitely fits fits me atm. I'm always trying to "make up" for all the bad shit I did during my active addiction. Ppl always tell me that I need to stop doing that. But how? When does the guilty feelings start to go away?

[yeoldemethadoneclinic]

Congratulations!🌻Was so happy to see this tumblr. How are you doing now? How is your child doing? How long has it been since you've been off mmt?😬 Please, forgive the amount of inquisitiveness on my part. I ask because I was put on methadone while pregnant, too and am desperately trying to be free of it (now at 28mg/day from 180/day). It affects so much that any advice or suggestion are helpful. That you made it off, in itself, is an inspiration.🌅 Thank you for that. Best of wishes to you! 💞

Things are going really great for my daughter and me. She is 3 months old now, and I have been off methadone since July 15. It is so, so nice to not have to go to the clinic anymore. I had to bring the baby with me and I hated exposing her to that place and some of those people. I was on such a low dose during my pregnancy that it was easy for me to taper off… I went a little faster than my counselor would have liked me to, but I still didn’t get any withdrawals. Since I’ve been off methadone I’ve had a few using dreams and a craving here and there, but those are getting easier to deal with and don’t come very often since I am so busy with the baby and my life. It’s so nice to not be on dope OR methadone.